Why We had to Kill Kathy!
by S.carlett V.on U.ttenburg
Summary: This is a dark comedy!  I think the title says it all. It's through Olivia's point of view.
1. Intro

**AN: Think of this story as a strange comedy. It's not quite dark enough to be Dark Comedy, but not mushy enough to be regular comedy. It's all through Olivia's point of view. A few things to keep in mind as you read---- it's a little movie esc--more so than book...esc. I should have made it into a script, but I like descriptions too much.**

Also, my reason for using music at all, is that I tend to write with the idea of the song or the music being added in the background. Much like a movie or Television show. Music is a great way to add flavor, humor, and theme. Some of my favorite dark comedy's are layered with excellent music (Weeds, Death to Smootchie, Heathers), so when I started writing this I had different songs in my mind and felt that they should be written in some how.  


**"Why We Had To Kill Kathy" **

**Intro**

Somewhere between Oregon and porch tea, I managed to open an elevator door into Elliot Stabler's heart, then swiftly lose it to the pitter patter of Kathy's pregnant feet.

I'm a reasonable woman, a rational woman, and I have always been a fan of keeping the family together, but little did I know that under the honorable friendship I held with my partner all these many years, grew a deep jealous urge to fall madly in love with the other part of him. The part of him that only one woman had ever openly held. The part of him that Kathy called ", her own".

Of course, I never shared this with anyone. Not even the journal on my Palm Pilot, but it was evident. And I know the feelings were mutual. It was a sixth sense that most women had, which is why I think Kathy went to such great lengths to put an end to my tiny shred of happiness.

Under the reality of Elliot's marital highs and lows, stirred a dark layer of deception. A façade too strong for any normal Catholic man to call out and too absurd for any sane woman to concoct. I never thought there would come a day that I would be witnessing such crimes of the heart. I certainly never would have suspected Kathy of such terrible misdemeanors. And I never ever expected to find myself praying for divorce, especially his. It just landed at my feet, and now after years of second best, I finally had a reason to do something about it. I finally had the stability I needed to fill her shoes.

I'm Olivia Benson, and this is my story of criminal intent. I didn't do it for my heart. I did it for his. Does that make me guilty as charged? Well, that's up for you to decide.

_Fade IN- MUSIC for opening credits as Olivia slips on her black boots and secures her gun and badge. Song is "Your Woman" by WhiteTown_

**Now I know your heart, I know your mind.**

**You don't even know you're being unkind.**

**So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways.**

**Just use me up and then you walk away.**

**Boy, you can't play me that way.**

**Well I guess what you say is true**

**I could never be the right kind of girl for you.**

**I could never be your woman.**

**I could never be your woman.**

_Fade IN_

_The 1-6 Precinct Manhattan._

Just another average day in the office of heinous crimes.

It all started during the Radcliff case. Donald Radcliff was a stockbroker serial killer rapist. We'd been on his tail for months and finally he went a step too far. He pissed off the wrong woman and now we had him cornered. All day we interrogated him. He was hiding the remains of his last three victims and so far nothing was dragging the information out of him. We decided to call a dinner break and let him stew in his own hunger for a few hours. Nothing was more satisfying then eating a large slice of cheese pizza in front of a hungry bastard like Radcliff.

Elliot patted me on the back and nodded in my direction ", Nice work in there Liv. It's always good to know your stomach is on the same clock as mine."

"Yeah, you keep saying that, but I'm not sure I want to share my eating habits with yours," I replied sarcastically.

He threw me a pouty smile and I nudged him playfully with my elbow. "So what are we ordering, Hungry Man?"

Elliot's phone rang from the clip on his belt.

"Give me a sec. Kathy, honey, it's gonna be a late night. I know, I should have called. Drink some water and eat the saltines, honey. Sweetheart I would love to make you feel better, but you know I can't. No, don't do that. There's no need to bring me dinner. Liv and I were just about to order something. Yes, I'm with her. No darling, there's a whole office of people."

I flickered an eye at him and he mouthed an apology.

"I love you too. No, I love you. Really-," Elliot cooed.

It was enough to make my empty stomach churn with its' own form of morning sickness. A morning sickness I liked to blame on the glow of a pregnant interference and the strange manbot she left in the place of my Elliot.

I glanced at Fin who made a sarcastic dry heaving motion behind Elliot's back. I was glad to know that my sudden illness had spread to the rest of the unit. I smiled at Fin and forced back my laughter. At least, we could make light of the situation.

Munch on the other hand, avoided Elliot at all costs. He was dead set against the reconciliation of a dying marriage, and just the thought of Kathy bearing another child made him go into all kinds of ridiculous theories about the dangers of having children before love.

Elliot hung up the phone and looked at me with his blue eyes.

"Sorry, Liv. She's hormonal, what can I say. "

"You don't have to apologize. I understand"

Fin then made a large swinging motion with his hand, insinuating the chop of an axe to his groin. I couldn't help but let out a nose-scrunching gust of laughter.

Elliot lifted a brow and turned just in time to not catch Fin's mime act.

"What's so funny?"

I smiled at him feebly so ", Oh, it would be lost in translation even if I told you."

Elliot stretched and rolled away from his desk in mid yawn.

"Well whatever, I'm starving. We doing Hawaiian or Supreme?"

"Supreme," Fin called from the side.

"A city of more than one million culinary choices from every corner of the world, yet we still manage to order Supreme pizza from a Mexican family down the street," Munch grumbled. "Does anybody else see the erroneous irony in this? Those people came all the way from Mexico to make me fat on Italian entrees and for some reason I can't get enough of it. It's all an evil plot to destroy fine dining. Seriously, I'd like to know the man who invented preservatives and addictive saturated fats. I'm sure it was someone filed under population control. If only I had a face to place the blame on obese immigrants and five topping American Dreams, then and only then could I feel guiltless about eating pizza once a week from the very kind hearted, not to mention hard working, Mexican family down the street."

Elliot slapped him on the back and followed the growl of his stomach acid. "Could be worse, Fin has a thing for Pizza Hut."

Munch gave Fin a disapproving glare and Fin shrugged it off, while Elliot ripped the phone from its' receiver. "I take it that's three for supreme. Liv, you down?"

I looked up at his salivating eyes and agreed ", Works for me."

Dinner with my boys was a highlight of the day. It didn't happen everyday, but when it did I felt like part of a family. There we all sat around a conference room table eating large greasy pizza and sharing a slice of our lives one bite at a time.

"The Dodge Ball Tournament is coming up again," Fin said through a chunk of dough and sauce. "You all ready to pound some CI heads in?"

"As long as I get to stand behind Casey, I'm in," Munch noted with a wink.

"I don't know. That one guy, what's his name, Robert Goren, he's a little intense," I added. "Can't we play against the narcs department or something?"

Elliot shoved a whole slice into his mouth. "Naw. No way, Criminal Intent is the only department crazy enough to be in the same room with us. And secondly, I have a bet going with Trevor Langon that you and Alex Eames are the last ones standing."

"Oh, really! So does that mean you're not gonna hog the ball this year?"

"No, I'm out this year, you gotta take one for me and be the balls of the game."

"HEY!," Fin and Munch both gripped while hurtling dirty napkins at Elliot's head.

Munch threw his slice of pizza on a paper plate and wiped his fingers on a clean square of napkin.

"I must have missed the memo where the use of condoms neutered my manhood."

Elliot shook his flushed face from the blow of the burn and retaliated in true form. "Munch, you have to actually participate in sexual intercourse to wear a condom."

There was an immediate ", OOOOOOOWWW," from Fin and myself as Munch's eyes grew wide and he nodded in shear respect for Elliot's on-the-square comment.

A glint of witty come back was written all over his face and just as he was about to speak, Fin broke the burn that could have lasted all evening with a clearing of the throat. "Moving on from a topic I don't want to envision while gett'n my grub on…Elliot, what do you mean, you're out!"

"I can't do it this year. There are too many practices. Kathy needs me to be at home."

We all gave him that crap ass glare.

He just shrugged in defeat.

"Sorry, guys- and gal, I promised."

Fin burped and threw his garbage away. "I guess your promise to us was just small talk then? Stabler, you're miss'n out."

I grew unusually quiet. I knew he was just trying to be a good dad, but I was looking forward to dodge ball. It was the one time we got to be personal. I could tell by the sudden lack of conversation that I wasn't the only one feeling this way.

Fin sat at the table and picked at his teeth in silence, while Munch hid behind his dark glasses and ignored the topic, as usual.

Our disappointment was interrupted by one more phone call from the woman of the season.

"Kath, whatcha need," Elliot blared as he glanced at our irritated faces and slipped out of the room.

Finally, Munch broke his wall of silent opinions and said ", Is it just me, or does everybody else get the feeling that she is way too needy?"

"Needy," Fin and I said simultaneously.

I wanted to be wrong about Kathy. I really did. I mean, who was I to say they were making the wrong choices.

The night went on and the phone calls proceeded. Each ring brought on a new head turn and a roll of the eyes from my single male partners in crime. We all saw the signs and held our negative bottom lips for dear life as Elliot headed down the slippery slope of numb marriage. I guess you could say we were taking the easy way out by ignoring it, but nobody wants to be the first person to start a relationship intervention.

Secretly, I think we wished it were something less complicated, like alcohol, or drugs even.

All I could do was take my role as the punching bag, stand by him as the guardian I played so well, and hope for the best. It was a hell of a job, but somebody had to do it.

_Fade In Whitetown Music as Olivia takes the last slice of pizza and shuts the interrogation door behind her. Fin and Munch watch her close in on Donald Radcliff, who sits in a chair behind a metal table with a wild look of hunger in his eyes. Elliot holds his phone to one ear and his finger to the other. His focus wavers from the corner of the room to the double-sided mirror where Olivia sinks her teeth into the tip of the cheesy triangle of Mexican Italian Americanized Pizza._

**And you're such a charming, handsome man.**

**Now I think I finally understand.**

**Is it in your genes, I don't know,**

**But I'll soon find out, that's for sure.**

**Why did you play me this way?**

**Well I guess what you say is true**

**I could never be the right kind of girl for you.**

**I could never be your woman.**

**I could never be your woman.**


	2. Grace

**Grace**

Donk! Donk!

"Olivia, take my hand."

Through the dark of the night I can see the palm of his hand reaching for me. My fingers touch his. He lifts me from the wet soggy pit of despair that I find myself getting into every now and again.

"Where were you," I answer breathlessly. "I waited and I waited. I thought you'd never come."

"I know. Can you forgive me?"

The fog was heavy and thick like a cloud surrounding us. Hiding us from the dirty grim of New York City. I can barely see his face as he draws me into his strong arms and brushes a piece of hair from my eye.

"I had some unfinished business to attend to. You know how I am about paperwork," he softly spoke inches away from my lips.

I can smell the hot sweet scent of a cinnamon toothpick. The image of the thin wooden stick twirling around his tongue taunts my insides like too much coffee on a stressful day.

My mouth waters and I delicately swallow my nerves.

"You're simply horrid at typing," I sigh from the depths of my weary vocal chords.  
"So I've been told."

He turns his face away in thought and I touch his arm to make sure that he's all right.

"Elliot?"

"Olivia."

"What's wrong?"

"Olivia."

"Elliot," I sigh and he turns to face me.

"Before I was sent to get you out of this…bind, I received a phone call."

"Yes…and…"

"The jury has come to their decision. I think you'll be pleased with the verdict. I know it took me a long time to make a stand, but I've finally convinced myself of the guilt. I thought I knew what home was….but I was wrong. Olivia, you're my home. Take me home, Olivia."

His words send me into a melodramatic faint. The faded glow of a nearby porch light blinks and buzzes in the dark of morning.

Buzz buzz buzz.

I close my eyes as he touches the side of my face and pulls it close to his. My breath falters.

Buzz Buzz

"Olivia, you're trembling"

"Oh, Elliot, I thought you'd never ask. As an unmarried woman, I was thought to be a danger. How can I live up to that in a cold cold world?"

"You must stop those thoughts, Olivia, because I'm not afraid of your danger."

Buzzzzzzzz BUZZ

His face, his eyes, his lips, all coming closer. Inching their way with great intentions towards mine. I close my eyes and hold my breath as the touch of his…

"Olivia Marie Benson!!!"

Hold that thought. What….

"HUUuuah!" I think I may have just swallowed my tongue. I sat up right from my couch in a confused state of panic.

"Wake up, Lucille."

"Jesus! Simon, you're an external rectal opening!"

Simon opened the curtains and the morning sun blared straight into my slanted sleep depraved eyes. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Long night?"

"Yeah, remind me to take those keys off of you. Don't you know how to ring the bell?"

"I did, sleep master B."

"You're still an ass- an external rectal opening."

My voice was barely functional, but my brain was all a blazoned with thoughts of hormonal intimacy and killer instincts. I was used to clicking on at a hell raising moment's notice. Simon was damn lucky I hadn't fallen asleep with my gun on.

I sat in a daze and blinked at the images on my television screen. Grace Kelly and Frank Sinatra blubbered on in a black and white AMC special. I really needed to stop watching these marathons before bed.

Simon jumped on the couch behind me and slapped my back precariously. "Well, sorry about the scare, but it's time for you to meet the morning, big sis, cause I'm in the mood for pancakes and Captain Crunch. I've got the boy and the little woman waiting in the car. You coming?"

"Arrrrr," I groaned before slamming my face under the warm blanket between my legs. "I've only had four maybe five hours of sleep, Si, I'm exhausted."

"Come on doll, I've got the day off. You can sleep later."

"Mmmmrrr…sleep now."

"Chocolate chip pancakes. Coffee on the side. Come on, now, I've got a lot of missed breakfasts to make up for. You can't just leave me high and dry."

I turned my head slightly to see his chipper smile and his puppy dog eyes. "I hate you."

"Ha- HA! It's official! Sisterly love is never complete without the look of hate. Get up, you're going."

My three-hour catnap hadn't prepared me for a full course breakfast at the B&D diner. In a zombie like trance, I pushed myself into the old booth and did my best to hold a conversation with Simon's wife. It didn't help that she was the shy one of the group.

"So Sharon, have you started taking those kick boxing classes yet?"

She blushed and shook her head nervously. "No."

"Oh well, I'm sure you're really busy. I've been trying to make it to the gym for years now."

"Yeah."

Simon took a piece of pancake from Sharon's plate and jammed it into his mouth. "Sharon doesn't need kick boxing. I'll make her skinny again, " Simon smiled, trying to lighten up the subject with a half-assed compliment.

Sharon's mouth dropped in embarrassment. I did my best to intervene the thoughtless sentiment.

"Sharon, you're the skinniest woman I know. And kick boxing is more than a weight loss sport, Simon."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say. Oh, tell her about the PTA, Shar."

Sharon shook her head and stuttered. "I...it's nothing. I'm doing the PTA this year. That's all."

"She got elected as Vice President. She wanted president, but this other woman had organizational skills out the wa-zoo. But I'm proud of her none-the-less. She's like the Dick Cheney of elementary school."

I could hardly continue the conversation. I muttered a "That's…great," and smiled. I'm sure it looked forced, but it was meant to be genuine. Just when I felt the moment growing awkward I was saved by the bell. The bell of my phone, that is. "Excuse me guys, I gotta take this."

I walked away from the table. I could vaguely hear Sharon hit the side of Simon's arm. "Ouch! What? I thought you liked being on the PTA."

"Elliot."

"Hey, Cragen needs you here. Melinda got the test results back. The bodies that Donald led us to, weren't our victims."

"What?"

"Yeah, I guess he had more victims than we knew about. We're being summoned, so get here when you can."

"Did you even go home last night?"

There was a pause and I could tell by the crackle in his voice that he didn't.

"…No."

"I didn't realize that the crib was rentable," I jabbed.

"I was too tired to drive."

"That's like the third time this week. What does Kathy have to say about that?"

"You just mind your own, Dr. Phil. It was a long night."

I lifted my brow, and even though I know he couldn't see it, he knew it was there. "Ok, sweetheart," I added chipperly for added annoyance. "I'll see you soon."

I almost clicked the phone shut and was stopped by his ", Hey…Liv?"

"Yeah."

"Good morning. Have some flowers on me."

Huh, that was sweet and unusual for him in the morning. He always liked to tease me about my snobbish tea obsession.  
The tealeaves always reminded him of flowers.

I smiled a ", Dido," back at him.

I could feel his warm eyes through the cellular waves and I hung up with a tint of cherry red on my cheeks.

With chocolate caffeine in my stomach and Elliot's words in my brain, I headed for work barely feeling the exhausted weight of non-sleep hovering over my body. The walk towards East 52nd St was like a step towards heaven.

_Music fades in as Olivia walks boldly through the morning rush of New York City. Song "Grace Kelly" by Mika_

**Do I attract you?**

**Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?**

**Am I too dirty?**

**Am I too flirty?**

**Do I like what you like?**

**I could be wholesome**

**I could be loathsome**

**I guess I'm a little bit shy**

**Why don't you like me?**

**Why don't you like me without making me try?**

**I try to be like Grace Kelly**

**But all her looks were too sad**

**So I try a little Freddie**

**I've gone identity mad!**

The elevator doors opened with a ding and I swear in the small corner of my imagination the number four blinked just for me.

I walked to my desk, applied a light coat of lipstick, and headed towards the interrogation room.

Elliot sat across from Donald Radcliff with that pensive smoldering look in his eye.

"Donald, I have two words for you. Life Sentence. Give us the bodies and we'll make you a deal."

"I'd just as soon rout in this room of starvation then spend one day in jail for those whores. Why do you care about their filthy corpses anyway? You have enough evidence to lock me up, so do it."

I made my way to the table and grabbed the new files. Donald followed my every move and I could tell that Elliot was repulsed by even the mere thought of it. He watched Donald's gaze and slammed on the table to grasp his attention.

"Donald! Eyes here. Listen to me you Jackass, you got a wife and kids right?"

"Hey you leave them out of this. They aren't in the picture, yeah, so what's your point?"

"My point is this. Those girls. Those 'whores' that you talk about. They all have families, just like you. If I killed your daughter, wouldn't you want to know where her body was?"

Donald chuckled and spit at Elliot's face. "Don't ever compare my daughter to those skanks again."

I stood behind Donald and glanced at Elliot's focused tension. He wiped his face and flickered his eyes to mine. It gave me the kind of chills that only movie magic could describe. I looked back at the files and sat on the corner of the table nearest to Donald. My thigh came parallel to his view. Without looking at him I spoke.

"What'cha looking at Donald?"

Donald didn't answer me. He traced the side of my body with his wicked thoughts and stopped at my glare.

"You like that," I smiled.

He smiled back. If I didn't know he was a perverted criminal I would have taken him for an average family guy. He sat up close to my face. I knew his game. I let him feel cocky just long enough to give me what I needed to break him.

"Detective, you are rare gem of a woman. I tell you what. I'll give you the bodies, if you give me yours."

"Huh, that's a flattering offer, but I don't make deals. Now my partner on the other hand is a saint of a man, and if you can convince him on the trade, I'm all yours. But… Donald," And I whispered real close to his ear. "You'd have to kill me first."

I placed the pictures of the dead women in Donald's face and he backed away in a panic.

"What's the matter Donnie, queasy stomach?"

"Get that away from me."

"You don't like the dead," I naively flirted.

"NO, I can't stand the dead. Stop it! Dead bodies is is-Oh!"

"How about this one?" I flipped through the different shots of naked dead women. "Or this one?"

"Stop. I can't tell you! I don't know where the bodies are."

"No? Oh- okay, this one."

"No really. I have no idea where they are."

"Oh, Donald, she's a beauty. I bet you loved screwing the last shred of warmth from her didn't you?"

"No! No, get it away from me. I can't look at it."

I pulled the picture away and turned to Elliot. "He's lying to us."

Elliot gave me a questioning look, and I dropped the files to the table. "The report says that all of these girls were raped after he killed them. Donald-"

And then I felt it. The stray hand that I turned my back on. Donald grabbed the inside of my leg and slid it towards the point of no return. I felt the slow motion of disgust form in my fist and just as I was about to pop old Donald a knuckle sandwich, Elliot beat me to the punch.

One smooth motion of fist to the face and Donald let go of his slimy grip from my black slacks. It's too bad Elliot's chivalrous days were rusty, because the next thing I knew his out-of-control elbow was headed straight for my-

"OWWW!"

"Liv, your eye!"

"Yep, that was my eye, " I winced.

Elliot's reaction was to ignore Donald's flailing body and touch the side of my face.

"Youch! Elliot, stop!"

"Sorry."

Cragen burst through the door and took hold of Donald. "What the hell Elliot! Get her out here. Both of you take a few  
hours off. You're killing me here!"

"Captian, I'm fine."

"Olivia, out! Now!"

Elliot grabbed my arm and led me to the refrigerator in the back.

"Damn it, Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. What the hell were you thinking, flirting with him like that?!"

"It worked didn't it?"

"Yeah- NO!"

I pushed him off of my arm and headed to the back on my own. "It worked fine. I just turned my back on him."

He, of course, followed me like the reprimanding father he was. "Liv, you never turn your back. Where's your head?"

"Where's my head! Where's your aim? We were this close to getting him to talk. Let me do the punching next time, ok!"

I got to the freezer door and slammed it open. He grabbed the ice tray from my hand. "Sit."

I pulled the ice tray back. "No."

"Olivia!"

"ELLIOT!"

In my fit of anger I blinked a bit too hard and recoiled in pain. "Damn it! Ahhhrrr!"

With a gentle hand he sat me in a chair and dumped the ice in a towel. Then through tears and pain I allowed him to hold the ice to my face.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"I know. How's it look?"

"Mmm… it's a shiner."

"Great."

Elliot knelt beside me holding his hand over mine. I didn't need his help holding the ice, but it didn't bother me either.  
His eyes fell to the floor in contemplation. "You think Donald has an accomplice?"

"Definitely. His story never added up to me from day one, and now that we have the autopsies back, there's no way. He's covering up for somebody. I might have believed he could rape a living woman, but not a dead one. No way."

"I'll agree with that. I say we take a look at his buddy from the Irish mob again. Something wasn't sitting right with me when we interviewed him the first time." Elliot yawned then padded my knee with his free hand. "Let's take a nap and think on it."

I nodded and followed him to the crib.

He helped me onto my usual bed and placed a blanket over me. Then he climbed into the bed next to me and looked up at the ceiling.

I watched him for a second with my good eye. I could tell he had something on his mind. Something more than the Irish Mob.

"Liv."

"Yeah."

"Can we talk for a minute?"

In my best sultry Grace Kelly impersonation I smirked ", well I don't know, the last time we talked Mr. smith you  
reduced me to tears…"

"…I promise you it won't happen again," he finished.

"Elliot Stabler a Grace Kelly fan! I'd have never guessed."

"Ah, it was the only thing on last night. I couldn't fall asleep."

"I thought you were too tired to drive home."

"I was but then it was too quiet in here."

"Oh…." I didn't want to press the issue, so I went with it. "Well, I couldn't sleep either."

He ignored me and paused in thought.

"So," I said. "what's on your mind?"

"Do you…ah, how do I put this…do you ever get the feeling you're not right? Like you're supposed to be somewhere else or you're missing something? Out of life, I mean. "

"Is this about Kathy or your secret fantasy to be on television?"

"Ha, yeah."

"Yeah to both?"

"I just have a hard time-"

"Deciding if it's love or comfort?"

"Yeah."

I had a million selfish, hateful things to say, but none of them would come out. Not to mention, his vague opinion on the subject, was making me nervous. So with no other alternative, my guilty, non-religious bleeding heart ate the last of my Kathy killing lines and I swallowed it down to this. "I wish there was an easy answer, but I'm probably the last person to have the right one, let alone an easy one. You don't need stability to move forward, Elliot. I know that's what you think." What she thinks. "But Elliot, you've got amazing instincts. Go with them."

"Yeah." He paused then ", I wish it were that easy."

"Don't we all."

"Yeah…"

After a moment he shook off the thought and yawned through a bright contemplative gaze ",Now look who's whining."

"I'm telling you it's contagious," I smiled.

"Love?"

"No, whining."

"Right. You should get some rest. Close that eye of yours."

Now it was my turn to answer vaguely. "Yeah."

His frustrated eyes closed and he slowly turned on his side. Several minutes later I could hear the soft snore in his breath. The pain in my black and blue pupil shot right to my twisted heart. I knew he was struggling for answers. The longer he struggled the more desperate I felt.  
**  
**

**I could be brown**

**I could be blue**

**I could be violet sky**

**I could be hurtful**

**I could be purple**

**I could be anything you like**

**gotta be green**

**gotta be mean**

**gotta be everything more**

**How can I help it?**

**How can I help it?**

**How can I help what you think?**

**Why don't you like me?**

**Why don't you like me?**

**Why don't you like yourself?**

**I tried to be like Grace Kelly**

**but all her looks were too sad**


	3. Balls to the wall

**AN: God, I hope somebody else finds this chapter as funny as I do, because I've been laughing about it for hours now. And nothing's worse then laughing at your own joke in silence...I'm all by myself...Oh god, I'm a lonely comedian. Sad clown :( LOLLOLOL!  
**

**Balls to the Walls **

"How's our local Irish Mob," Cragen said from his desk as Munch, Finf, Elliot and myself walked in and invaded his cushy chairs.

"Drunk," Elliot said with an agitated pout.

Munch lifted an eye with agreement and pulled the focus back. "We pretty much got the run around by Thomas O'Mally and his red faced cronies."

"But on a side note we got the doorman at O'Mally's bar to leak a few promising leads after Elliot slipped him a shot of Jameson," I added.

Elliot dropped a half smoked cigar on Cragen's desk. "It appears as though Donald's been importing illegal stogies for our boys and then pulled a Clinton on our 'stiff blow'n' Irish Perp during a drop off."

I attempted to relay what we found with a tousle of the pages in my notebook and a damn good Irish accent, if I do say so myself. "Our doorman, Jimmy, says, and I quote, 'Donal, was caught with his fingers in the wrong cereal box. Nobody messes with O'Mally's golden girls unless he wants the rest of his gene pool to die a slow painful death'."

Cragen sat in a confused state of silence trying to follow the mess of metaphors. "So what the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Elliot ran a hand through his messy hair (what little he had at any rate) and shrugged ", My guess is Donald found out about O'Mally's death fetish and is trying to cover it up to keep his family alive."

I then added to Cragen's still crinkled thoughts ", Our biggest question is why our rape victim agreed to the cover up? She's the one who called it in."

"So she's probably in on it," Cragen nodded. "Re-interview our victim. Get her to cough up the truth so we can link O'Mally to the case and try his ass in court already."

We all nodded in agreement and I looked at my watch anxiously. Cragen must have read my thoughts, because instead of pushing us to get the work done he winked in my direction and said", Tomorrow, Benson. It's late and we got some dodge ball to practice."

"Great," I smiled.

"Alright," Fin hooted before pushing us all aside and heading for the locker room.

Munch cracked his tired bones and slowly followed, while Cragen grabbed his breifcase and headed for the door. "I'll meet you guys there. Elliot, you still out?"

"Unfortunately."

Elliot and I headed to our desks. I made some minor paper work adjustments as Elliot filed our last reports. We worked in silence. The only sound was the click of my manicured nails typing away on the keyboard. I could feel his tension as I checked my e-mail. My AOL account dinged and a new message opened. Paul Mankin's name flashed on the screen and I smiled. Paul was a funny guy and a good friend. I read the letter and laughed out loud at his witty remarks.

"What," Elliot said as he leaned over me to look at the screen.

"Oh nothing."

"Paul? Who's that your boyfriend?"

"Ex. If you must know," I smirked.

His face was inches from mine and he smirked back with a hint of playful mockery as he fixated on my eyes.

"What," I blushed.

"Nothing, you're eye looks terrible."

"Yeah, and you're face is killing me."

He laughed loudly and then turned to the screen to read Paul's letter out loud in a melodramatic tone. "'I can't wait to see your doll face.' Huh, hope he's not a friends with benefits kinda ex-boyfriend, cause right now your doll face is pretty cracked."

I slapped him hard and he pulled away laughing with his face still inches from the computer. "' I'll be in town as soon as this national tour closes. Love, as always, Paul.' Doesn't sound like an Ex to me."

"He's gay, Elliot."

"Wow, how many is that now? Two? Three?"

"Shut your face," I goofed and slapped him repeatedly on the arms and chest.

"Oh! Oh! I struck a chord! Apparently he did too," Elliot joked as he backed away.

"OOOh, that's it Stabler! You go ahead and rub it in. You're just jealous!"

I stood up from my desk, grabbed the file from his hand, and hit him repeatedly over the head.

He just laughed and retaliated. "Jealous! Of what? Being straight? No, see I avoid your bed for a reason Benson."

I paused in offense and shock that he even said that to me. He saw the hurt in my eyes and reached for my arm.

I pulled away from him angrily. "You're an asshole."

"Aw, don't be a grumpus. I was only Josh'n you, Liv. I only avoid your bed because you'd make me take my gun off."

He smiled like a pretentious teenager and I gave him the old fake out. Turning away from him I started for the door and he followed. So predictable. Just as he reached my side I grabbed his arm and twisted it backwards. He yelped and doubled over.

"Where's your gun now, Stabler?"

"You dirty rat!"

I laughed and he took his free arm and pinched the side of my leg.

"OUWW! You cheater!"

"You cheated first!"

I attempted to hit him again, but he grabbed my arms and pulled me over. My back was to his chest and his one strong fist held my hands as I wiggled to free myself from the tickle.

With a squeal and a body roll maneuver I found myself hunched over in an odd sideways position making a sure attempt to push his body away from me without knocking everything off of my desk. Yet, through all of my precautious giggles and tickle dodges I somehow managed to get my necklace caught on his belt.

"Whoa, Benson, hang on. You got me by the…"

"Belt, I know. Hold still. I can't grab the …."

"Buckle. Here let me help you."

"Elliot, it's really not a job meant for two. If you just let me go at it…"

"Alright, fine…just… Should I take it off?"

"Well that would make it easier."

Elliot wiggled around my neck trying to unclasp his belt buckle. My hands fumbled around the chain trying to undo the knot it had become.

"OW! You just poked my eye."

"Sorry, I can't get the loop around the chain without breaking it," he grumbled.

"Maybe wiggle it."

"I did that."

"Harder."

I'm sure we looked like a regular commodity. There he was yanking his fist in an ungentlemanly fashion while my head moved around his groin area.

"Damnit! It's too big for the hole…"

"Stop, it's too tight. Elliot, you're hurting me!"

"Elliot!"

We both stopped. Caught like deer in headlights. I couldn't see her face from my angle, but I knew that screech of a voice any day.

"Kathy," Elliot answered in surprise.

"What are you doing," she weakly asked.

It was funny how she automatically suspected the worst. I mean, come on, if we were gonna do it, this was the last place it'd go down.

"She's stuck," Elliot pointed out as he attempted to keep his hands and body parts in check and away from any area of my body.

"On your crotch?"

I lifted my hands from Elliot's waste in true criminal fashion. "Kathy, hi. Not what you think."

I tried to look her way, but my computer was in the crossfire. I don't think she really wanted to see my face anyway.

"What's going on here?"

Elliot smiled through his embarrassment. "Ha, ha, yeah, this is quite the predicament. Liv's necklace got stuck to my belt."

Kathy stood in silence. I could feel the cold shards of anger pouring from her eyes and I couldn't even see them.

"It's really not what it looks like, Kath," Elliot defended, and truthfully so.

I sighed and leaned my head against his stomach. He recoiled and I pulled myself away to a backbreaking tension before motioning to Kathy.

"Kathy, it's really nothing. You know, if you could help us-"

"Elliot, I'll meet you at home."

"No! Wait! Kathy, come on!" Elliot moved towards her dragging me along as I fumbled past the swivel chair and around the desk. Desperately I clung to the necklace and searched for the tiny clasp, while Elliot begged for understanding.

"Kathy, don't do that. You came all the way down here for a reason. Just give me a second to explain."

"Well, I came to take you to dinner, but I guess you're tied up."

AHHHRRR, she is so passive aggressive. My face was burning to get away from the target zone of Elliot's…ball and chain. My fingers frantically pulled at the clasp as Elliot fought for his dignity.

"Don't be upset. This is silly and coincidental. Dinner sounds great and I was just headed out."

Kathy looked at me and I smiled. "He was. Really."

"How did you guys get like this," she said with a scrunch to her face.

Elliot blushed. "Oh, you know, I was there and she bent over, and it just happened."

With a grunt I pulled and added ", Basically, Kathy, you're husband called me a fag hag and I went to rip his arm off and missed. Bad aim has been quite a theme in this partnership recently."

As I said this Elliot slapped my head.

"Ouch."

"Sorry, must have been my bad aim."

I clenched my jaw, held the clasp with my thumbnail, and just before the chain released I managed to elbow him in the...

"AHhhhh, God! Damn it! You just…."

Left my calling card between his legs. Yep. Gracefully, I pulled away in relief. "Thank god! Oh, El, I'm sorry. You know how elbows are. They just have a mind of their own."

He sucked up his pain and gave me that livid expression that honestly made me even more attracted to him then it should have. I guess that's why I named the look livid. It was my look. I was the only one he ever gave his livid look to and knowing that made me feel lividly special. I partially smiled and cracked my neck.

Elliot let go of his groin and the fearless chain swung back and forth off of his belt. I reached for it and…

"Ah-," he stopped me. "I got it."

Kathy grabbed Elliot's hand. "Here, let me get it for you sweetheart."

Kathy knelt down to untie the chain. Her face inches from his now throbbing crotch. The childish anger floating between Elliot and myself quickly melted into uncomfortable thoughts and I turned away. Why did I have to be the hard ass? There she is delicately fixing the situation and the only way I could make him throb was by brutal force.

Slightly humiliated I fixed my disheveled sweater and hid behind my computer. My jealous gaze taking in glimpses of Kathy touching the side of his face and kissing him on the cheek. I caught the alignment of her stare. She wrapped her arms around him and I could have sworn she mouthed, "back off" in my direction. Was it the lighting? Did I imagine it? I don't think I did, but what was I going to do, elbow her too?

"Liv, you ready." Fin and Munch strolled in from the locker room in their matching red jumpsuits. I took in the largest gulp of breath and smiled.

"I am so ready. So, so, ready. Let me grab my things."

Casey rounded the corner as I grabbed my purse and duffle bag. She wore her own version of nerdy kick ass garb and threw a pink ball towards Munch's head. "Come you pansies, we're running late. They kick us out of the court at 8pm. Let's go go go!"

Kathy jumped at the deep loud yell coming from behind Casey's grandiose mouth.

"Oh, hi Kathy, how's the hump," Casey said while stretching her arms.

"Excuse me?"

"The baby. How's the baby?"

"Oh, you know, coming along."

"That's great," Casey curtly answered before ignoring Kathy's stomach all together. "Elliot, you sure you're not coming."

He angrily looked at Casey. "No, Case, how many times do I gotta tell yeah that?"

"Jesus, my bad."

"Jesus has nothing to do with it."

"I beg to differ, " Munch added as he headed for the elevator.

"Not this year, guys. I told you."

"Fine," Casey sighed.

The four of us pushed past Elliot and Kathy. I forced a smile towards them and headed to the elevator. Kathy touched Elliot's chest and pulled my necklace from his hands.

"Olivia. Don't forget this."

I stopped and turned. Fin, Munch, and Casey, who were already making wisecracks, paused to wait for me.

Time stopped as I watched her pasty white hand hold the necklace up to her face. She squinted her eyes and read the inscription on the small gold box. "'Fearless.' That's a bold statement."

I took the necklace from her and almost curled my lip. "I'm a bold woman."

She stuck her nose in the air and turned her back on me.

I awkwardly looked at Elliot and whispered a soft ", Goodnight."

"Night, Liv," Elliot replied with that whipped look in his eyes.

The elevator doors opened and my team of dodge ball geeks piled in. I caught a glance of Kathy grabbing Elliot's face and kissing him on the lips. His body was there, but his eyes remained empty. It took everything in my being to be the better woman and ignore the gossip and jabs that immediately commenced when the elevator doors closed on the sad case that was Elliot.

_Fade in Closing music "Other Woman" by Jewel._

**The other woman finds time to manicure her nails.**

**The other woman is perfect where her rival fails.**

**And she's never seen with pin curls in her hair.**

**He'll find her waiting like a lonesome queen.**

**Cause when she's by his side**

**It's such a change from the old routine.**

**But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep.**

**The other woman will never have his love to keep.**

**And as the years go by, the other woman**

**Will spend her life alone.**

**AN: I know I know- Kill her already- Kill her!!!!! I'll do my best to drag it out as long as I can...kidding...totally kidding- I will make it painless for you but painful for her. Would that make you all feel better? Gosh, you guys are so evil. You make me feel dirty. If I were Catholic I'd have to go to confession for thinking the sinistar thoughts that you all force me to write. OK DROP ME SOME THOUGHTS! Fools!  
**


	4. The Unusual Suspects

**AN: I have nothing really to say, but I've been having a very nerve wrecking two days, and I really need fanfic to take my mind off of my torment. So after you're finished reading- Please for the love of god ----drop me a line, so that I can reply to it and keep my mind off of life. I'm waiting for a phone call that could potentially change my life!!! Ok- it's not that drastic, but I'd get a large foot in the door and boost myself from the C list to the B list of theater actors. Oh my god- I hate when my life is placed in somebody else's hands!!!! Especially, when it's a gay man who casts people on looks and popularity!!! GOD I hate this! On a good note for you guys, I will be writing and reading and writing to try and forget that I'm waiting for the phone call. Enjoy! Scarlett**

**The Unusual Suspects**

"Maybe we should all knock some sense into him," Fin shouted before hurling a ball at Munch's boney body.

"Or knock some sense out of her," Casey jested as she caught the ball that bounced off of Munch and grunted it towards my head.

I caught her aggressive pelt and held the rubbery ball between my sweaty palms as I gulped for air. "Time out," I yelled. "Elliot's a big boy he can figure it out on his own."

The group of us huddled towards the bleachers in a vapor of sweat and stink.

Munch grabbed his water bottled and rolled onto the first bench. "Til' death do us part is a big promise to make, even for a big boy like Elliot, I don't see him leaving her on his own accord."

Simultaneously, Casey, Fin, and Huang lifted their matching SVU water bottles and drank with a general sigh of hopelessness.

We'd been practicing for a month now and every time Cragen couldn't make it, dodge ball always turned into an Elliot and Kathy bitch fest. Even George Huang, who had to join the team when Elliot backed out, was taking time to vent his feelings.

"I tried telling Elliot, that babies does not a marriage make, but he's convinced that a person can fall in love and stay in love with anyone, as long as both parties are in agreement."

"That's healthy," Casey chocked.

Huang nodded with a serious expression. "You can say that again. But you know Elliot; he's a man who comes around to an idea on his terms."

I lifted a brow with attitude. "Is that the PC definition for hard headed ass?"

Huang smiled and sat next to me. "No, that's the PC term for fear of committing to his true feelings. I've never seen someone so stuck on avoiding the obvious."

"I have," Casey said with a wink in my direction.

"True feelings or not," Fin huffed. "Elliot, is like every other whipped man I know. He got stuck in a marriage with a woman he has nothing in common with and now he's too old to change. There is no feeling in that. I mean, how you suppose to know what true feelings are when you've been hiding behind a false one for twenty some years? All I have to say is, God bless them for trying."

"God save them from trying," I said in a trance.

Fin got up from the ground and took the water bottle from my hands. "I said god bless them."

"And I said god save them."

"Save'm, bless'm, blow'em, who cares," Casey bellowed. "I'm tired of seeing his mopey face, and I'm even more tired of watching the Soap Opera between your desks. Let's get real here Olivia! Any normal set of human beings would have jumped on it by now! And don't you even bring up that friendship-partner-soul mate-sisterly-brotherly-love crap either! We've known you much too long for that story line."

As she said this she looked directly at me with her firey blues eyes and that mess of strawberry blonde hair. I should have just shrugged it off, but I flinched.

"I…I have no idea what you mean, Casey."

"You know, Liv, denial is the first step to admitting you have a problem," Casey pushed.

I looked a Huang for some help, but he only smiled that toothy Asian grin at me. "She's got a point."

Casey grabbed the ball from my hands and continue ", don't you ever just want to do yourself a favor and get rid of her for him?"

"Don't you ever know when to stop?"

"No, she's a lawyer," Fin mocked.

Casey got that crazed look in her eye and jumped off of the bleachers spastically. "You can't tell me that you don't think of what life would be like without Kathy."

"No, and I think we should stop this conversation while we're ahead of ourselves."

"Casey, let's not make things uncomfortable, " Huang interjected.

"Liv, I'm just saying, the feelings that you two have are normal, and for once, I'd like to see you happy. Come on, you were so close. You had him and you dropped the ball. Why?"

"_I_ didn't drop anything. He made his decision the night he chose to f-…be with Kathy."

"Eh, that was an alarmingly fateful turn of events for anything that was remotely virile," Munch groaned as he turned to look at us from under the white towel covering his head. "So he had a rough week, go to the bar like everybody else in the world. I'm not even sure a Soap Opera writer could have come up with a more dramatic reason for sex. I just hope he heard the earth quake beneath his testicle driven feet and felt that fornication was the only option out. Otherwise, I fear for the American family and the direction it's heading."

"Here we go," Fin chuckled.

"I can see the newspaper headlines now 'Man and Woman Forced to Remain Unharmonious Due to Lack of Birth Control and Writer's Block'."

"Ok, ok, enough," I snapped.

"Oh, Little Liv, calm down," Fin fussed, while grabbing my shoulders to release my frustrations.

"Fin, don't touch me."

"Ow, I see how it is. Gett'n all Oprah on my ass. That's fine, but one day you're gonna need a hug."

Casey threw me the ball and smiled. "Liv, you can at least pretend you like him for our sake. I mean, what's the harm in dreaming if Elliot is in this till death do he part?"

"Reality," Fin answered as he watched my face fall into a dark haze.

The echo in the gym stopped and I laughed half heartedly to break the tension. "Casey, you wanna dream? Let's just pretend Kathy's dead and we can all move on with our lives."

"Brilliant! Just cut right to the chase," Casey growled with aggressive intentions. "Hell, death wouldn't even be breaking any of Elliot's religious rules."

"Ah, I think that would be against one of those Ten Commandments, Case," Munch replied.

"Damn, you women are evil," Fin squinted.

Casey squinted back at him with her tomboy attitude. "It's not evil if it's an accident. What's the religious saying? If you eat this bread and you drink this cup…. just make sure it doesn't have untraceable poison in it."

I couldn't help but laugh a little. This conversation had completely crossed the line of sanity. "Casey, you're starting to sound like the Catholic Mob. I think my last perp is rubbing off on you."

Fin rolled over on the floor in crunch position. "Well, poison would be better then falling off a building. I hear the freefall is worse than the death."

"Whoever told you that must of jumped off a pretty short building," Munch replied.

"Smart ass. You're the one who told me that."

Munch scratched his chin and nodded. "Right, I probably did. Building homicides are always risky though. Too many possibilities of a witness."

"So how would you do it," Casey asked as she sat next to him Indian style.

"Me?"

"Yeah."

Munch straightened himself and held his cool. The mere fact that Casey was sitting that close to him and asking for his opinion, even if it was about hypothetical murder, was enough to make his dark heart pound into a sweaty slab of raw meat. "In the world that is real and non-fictional, I would never have the gumption to kill another, but I could lend a hand, and in that case, I would fire Elliot."

"I think you're missing the point here, Munch. We want to get rid of_ her _not get rid of him."

"Precisely. Did you know that 42 percent of women, who were murdered last year, were murdered by their spouses due to pregnancy? That's a pretty high number. I'd say on the right day, with a pinch of Kathy's famous nag, and no income bringing home the bacon; Elliot could get the job done and I wouldn't have to touch a hair on her head."

"Munch, that is ridiculous, and why would you know that," I scoffed.

"I work in sex crimes and I'm a statistic junky, why wouldn't I know that? In fact, Ms. Benson, _you_ should know that."

Fin groaned in protest. "Not everyone is dying to waste their time with useless trivia, Alex Trabec. And waiting for Elliot to do the job for you is the worst idea I've heard all evening."

"Fine, then how would get it done, Gangster Ice Magee?"

"Oh, no you didn't," Fin gapped.

Munch smiled and lifted his brows in true smartass form.

Fin shook his head and continued the vile topic of the evening. "There's only one way to kill a person and walk away clean. You gotta make it look like an accident. Next time she's crossing the street outside of the crosswalk- BAM- floor the Sedan and pop her ass to the next time zone."

"Ok, I'm getting way too much information about the dark side of your minds," Huang waved. "I think we should stop before I have to see you all in my office on a regular basis. It's clear that we all want Elliot to be happy. If his relationship with Kathy is so troubling why don't we talk to him or throw him some subtle hints?"

"Ow, like revenge," Casey smirked. "That's even better."

"No, not revenge-"

"Yes, it's perfect! Elliot won't be upset that we interfered and Kathy won't know what hit her. I've got it! It's so clear. The best plan! Munch and Fin, you're his boys, you gotta get him in trouble. Take him to a stripe club or a bar and get him hammered. Give Kathy a reason to be pissed. George, you're his therapist, drop him some hints during his sessions. You know, the old 'five reasons you're not compatible' hints."

Huang gave Casey a questioning look and she slapped him on the arm with a snort. "It's all in last months Cosmo, Doc. I'll drop it by your office. As for me, I've got a few tricks that I've pulled on an old lover of mine that was married. Boy was his wife easy to get rid of. Too bad it didn't work out with us. Liv…"

I looked up at her a little scared, but certainly intrigued.

"Liv, you're the key element."

I shook my head a little in disagreement and she grabbed my hand. "Look I know this is hard for you to admit, but you owe it to yourself."

"I owe nothing of the sort to myself."

"Are you seriously going to sit back and ignore this? He needs you, Liv. You need him. Stop being so damned professional and flirt a little. You don't have to make it obvious, but you know, touch his arm, fix his hair, hold his stare a little longer than usual. You have to make him see what he's missing. And for god's sake, make him jealous. There is a whole world of men out there. Pretend you're interested! I hate to place the blame on you, but this is all your fault."

"What?!"

"If you weren't so hung up on being the proud single woman, we'd probably be going to your baby shower next week. This is a travesty and it's time for you to step up to the bench, Detective. Take the stand. Right your wrongs. Prove our love theories guilty!"

I glanced at my usually supportive sidekicks, but instead of a life raft they threw me a bone.

"She's right Liv," Fin shrugged.

"Munch?"

"I can't object."

"George, tell her this is asinine!"

"It's only asinine because you're scared of rejection."

"You're damn right I am. I have to work with this man. If he rejects me…"

"Then you get a new partner," Huang finished. "Olivia, you can't keep pretending. It will only make your job and your relationship that much harder to keep."

I knew he was right. I sat there watching the hopeful expressions emanating from all of their faces and I couldn't come up with one reason to disagree. Under all of the sick jokes and playful banter, they were right.

"Ok, you got me. I'll step up to the challenge."

"Sweet," Fin grinned as he swiped my hand into a laid-back side five slap.

It was time to make a change. My moatly crew of professional master minds put their heads together and came up with the "Kill Kathy" plan. Over the course of the week each member of the team would come up with their own tiny nitch to break Elliot's wedding vows. I had no idea what was going to happen, but had I realized then what I know now, I may have just told them all to fuck off and moved to a different precinct. So there I was, blissfully following my heart. All I had to do was bait his feelings, and I could do that. At least I hoped I could.

The group of us gathered our things and made our final goodbyes. I walked to my apartment in a giddy train of thought. I hadn't felt this way since high school and I wanted to slap myself for allowing my inner non-sense to over-rule adult rationality. The girly nerves in my stomach rattled around at the thoughts of making Elliot choose me over everything else. It was enough to make me blush and tickle the hormones in my brain. I didn't even seem to mind that he had been a careless fool about our obvious connection. My heart was set to the task. If Elliot needed a push in the right direction, I was gonna give it to him.

_Fade in music, "Got my mind set on you" by George Harrison, as Olivia walks into her apartment, dumps her bags on the floor, and falls whimsically to the middle of her bed._

**I got my mind set on you**

**I got my mind set on you**

**And this time I know it's for real**

**The feelings that I feel**

**I know if I put my mind to it**

**I know that I really can do it**

**I got my mind set on you**

**Set on you**

**  
**

**AN: There really is no reason for me to put music in every chapter, but I almost see the chapters as an episode of "Weeds" and if you watch that show, you'll notice that they always play a really good or corky song at the end. All of the music from "Weeds" is excellent. But the chapter just doesn't seem complete without a little JAM at the end. he ha- get it jam! Yeah, that was punny! Later Cats!  
**


	5. Movies of Myself

**AN: Sorry about the delay on this. I thought I'd have it finished before I went out of town and then I didn't and now I'm out of town. But I crapped out some spare time- SO yeay!! Update is complete. One thing. I had to change the beginning of the third chapter a bit. You don't have to reread it- but basically know that Fin and Munch are now the ones that interviewed the Irish Mob. Elliot and Olivia only worked the outside and got a few of the Mob's neighbors and doormen. So they don't know what El and Liv look like. I had a change of story half way through. It'll be better this way, just trust me!**

**Movies of Myself **

If my life were a movie, this would have been the music Montague part. I came into work Tuesday morning to find an already finely spun web of marriage breaking antics in, under, and around my desk. From the second my ass hit the powdered doughnut on my chair to the intentional stack of falling files next to my box of disappearing tissue, I knew I had signed up for the wrong project.

The high-pitched voice of Frankie Valli wailed in my mind as Elliot reached for my sugary pants with a convenient paper towel passed down to him from Munch's sticky fingers. Without so much as a nod or a glance, Munch held the New York Times to his face and I did my duty (as our key element) to smile and guide Elliot's helpful hand.

Sound the drums, boys, Detective Olivia Benson was officially on call!

**Big girls don't cry, big girls don't cry  **

**Fade Out **

**Fade In**

The weight of flirtation was on my shoulders. If I wasn't talking, touching, laughing, or starring at Elliot when my colleagues were around, I was sure to be given silent death threats and practical punishments from every angle.

"I need a break, who wants coffee," Elliot asked.

Casey's spiky heel met the ridge of my leg.

"OW! Huh," I looked at her angrily, then jumped to my feet. "Me! …Coffee, yes, I need some. Coffee, that is. Let me help you."

Elliot looked at me funny and opened the conference room door, motioning for me to go first.

I shot an annoyed glare towards Casey, who turned away just in time for me to trip on Fin's thick shoe.

"Ow, Sorry, Liv," Fin said with a hint of travesty behind his tone.

My graceless fall ended at Elliot's chest.

"Hey now, one foot at a time there, coffee bean."

My wayward eyes looked up to meet his careful gaze. Any focus that I had kept for professional purposes was immediately stolen.

"Sorry, lost my...footing."

"I see that," He softly replied as he held me with one arm and two brilliantly blue eyes.

Those electric pupils held me like a symphony of music. Suddenly Rufus Wainwright sweetly sang in the radio of my mind ", Pretty things, so what if I like pretty things. From where you are, to where I am now, is it's on galaxy."

Elliot and I had fallen into each other's eyes before, but it was purely accidental and we almost always blamed it on the stress of our job. I was about to take the first steps of unexcused eye contact, and test my lash batting flare.

The pause was glorious, yet strangely laborious to remain in. It was much harder to intentionally hold a stare when the other person is oblivious to the motives.

Still, he was staring back. It was like a warm smile of confused attraction. I slowly smiled through the fixation of his baby blues. The scrunch above my nose formed and his brow crease lowered back at me in question.

Cragen coughed and the moment was broken. "Coffee."

"Coffee," Elliot muttered then abruptly dropped my arm and turned away.

Crap, It was too long. Was it too long? Damn it! I wiped my nearly sweating brow and hobbled a step behind him towards the coffee pot.

**Big girls don't cry (they don't cry) **

**Big girls don't cry (who said they don't cry)**

**Fade Out**

**Fade In**

It was refreshing to get away from the ever-present "Kathy Killing" high jinks. After a morning of office time and court meetings, the day was spent wrapping up evidence. For the first time all day I felt normal. No painful pushing or peer pressure, just Elliot and I shootn' the shit and doing our job.

"Liv, you got something on your shirt."

"What?"

I looked down and Elliot's finger flicked my nose like an annoying middle school joke. "Got yeah."

Okay, so maybe not all of the high jinks was gone, but his pranks I could handle.

"How old are you?"

"Too old. Gum?"

He handed me a pack of gum. I took a piece and looked at the pack.

"What's with the Winterfresh? Run out of toothpicks?"

"They're in my desk, and what's it to you?"

"Nothing, you just don't usually share your oral frustrations."

He grabbed the pack from my hand as if offended. "Scuse me, I believe the term is fixations. And next time I'll let you walk around with coffee breath, Detective smart ass."

We laughed and when my hand lightly touched his arm, I hadn't even noticed. Maybe less distraction was all I needed to make this work, but eventually the doors of the precinct beckoned for us to return and when we did…

"You'll want to check out the personals," Casey said as she rushed by my desk throwing a section of newspaper at me.

"What did you do?"

"Late for court!"

With that she was gone and my eyes stopped at the words popping from the personals page. It was right between** "**_Come to me Honest and Correct or don't come to me at all. Sandra" and _**"**_Artfully kinky in NYC. David"._

I formed the words in my mouth and almost died. _"Handsome, Tall, and Trustworthy. Looking for my partner in crime. Elliot. 555-555-5550."_

"Hah," I gasped, my hand covering the open flytrap that was my mouth. His home phone number printed for every woman in New York City to call. "Oh my god!"

"What?"

Elliot stood right behind my shoulder.

"Jesus!"

I almost leapt from my skin. The newspaper crumpled in my hands.

"Nothing. Obituaries." I quickly moved away from him and folded the newspaper into a tiny square ball. "Excuse me."

As I ran for the John, Elliot turned to Munch in confusion. "What's her deal today?"

"Something about a big date tonight."

"Really? Huh, she didn't mention it to me."

"You never ask," Munch replied darkly.

Elliot went into his own world of thoughts and flipped through his paperwork. "She hasn't dated since…well, in a long time."

Fin shot Elliot a look and spit out a quick jab. "Jealous?"

But Elliot didn't hear him. He was too busy thinking. His eyes fixed on Olivia's empty chair and a toothpick dangled from his mouth like a nicotine patch for sexually frustrated teeth pickers.

**(Silly boy) Told my girl we had to break up**

**(Silly boy) Thought that she would call my bluff**

**(Silly boy) But she said to my surprise**

**Big girls don't cry**

**Fade out**

**Fade In**

Crying was close to what I wanted to do. This day kept getting longer and harder to maintain as it went on. Just as I was about to call my sad attempt quits for the day, Elliot strolled into the locker room unbuttoning his shirt

"Hey," he said as I gathered my things.

"Hey."

"Have fun tonight."

"Okay? You too," I answered while closing my locker.

"On your date."

I choked out a laugh ", unless you're making an offer, the only date I'm going on is home."

He kicked his shoes off and glanced with concern. "Oh. Did he cancel?"

"No. Wait, what?"

"Your date. Munch and Fin said you were nervous about going out tonight."

"I didn…" And then it dawned on me.

Fin and Casey's voices ran through my head like one of those electric billboards with the red lettering.

_"Stop being so damned professional and flirt a little. For god's sake, make him jealous." _

_"I'm gonna have to call that stripper that I know. Have him…meet you at the precinct for a little night of naked interrogation."_

_"There is a whole world of men out there, Liv. Pretend you're interested!" _

I was about to kill somebody. The least they could do was fill me in. This was supposed to be revenge on Kathy, not me! I held back my surprised anger and back peddled my way out of it ", Yeah, he was suppose to keep that on the DL."

"He looked excited, which was odd for him."

"I'm sure."

"The whole lot of you have been odd today. Did I miss something?"

My eyes grew wide. "No. No, not that I know of."

Wow, I just lied to him. The day just made an all time low. I had to change the subject or get out now. Unfortunately... "Where are you off to?" I went with the first choice.

He stood with his shirt unbuttoned, fiddling with the buttons on the cuffs. "Dickie and I are gonna go shoot some hoops."

"Oh," I watched him struggle with the buttons and I went for it. "Here, let me get that for you."

I touched his wrists. The action felt so right, so normal, so June Cleaver. The thought of it reminded me of my mother and an old fashioned idea of hers. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

Elliot gave me a look as I smiled at his stiff shirtsleeve. "Something funny?"

"Your cuffs remind me of something my mother use to say."

"What's that?"

"She had this theory that women were meant to iron shirts. I suppose that was the key to a good marriage in her mind. I was never quite sure what sex that offended more. Women for being stereotyped into ironing or men for not being able to do it on their own."

"Well, I iron my own shirts, so I must be the exception."

I finished and smiled warmly at him. "You are quite an exception, Elliot Stabler."

"Yeah, I know," he smirked through the side of his cocky lips.

The moment ended and he turned to change. "You going on your date like that?"

There he was in all his glory, shirt off, pants unbuttoned, I almost didn't hear what he said until he looked back up at me.

"Ah," I touched my hair out of nervous habit and looked down at my Macy's-ruffled-shirt-slacks combo. "Yeah, I guess I am. Is that bad? Should I change?"

"No. No, you look good. Personally, I'd lose the gun."

I looked at my belt shamelessly ", Right, that's usually a real mood killer. Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all these years."

We both laughed. Being Elliot's friend was more than wonderful. He knew exactly how to bring out the humor in me. I just hoped I wasn't pushing the wrong thing. Losing him at this phase of the game would be more than I could handle. But I had to trust us. Trust that we were as strong as I knew we were.

Elliot pulled a t-shirt over his head and rubbed the nape of my neck. "Oh my, when did we get so old, Ms Benson?"

"I don't know what you mean, I am younger than I ever was."

"You'll have to show me your beauty secrets. I'm fresh out of energy."

"You know where I live."

He grabbed his bag and headed for the door. "That I do. Oh, I almost forgot. Kathy and I were thinking about Godparents for the baby. I wanted to ask you."

"To be a god mother?"

"Yeah, I think you'd be a good mother… God mother," he said as he held a small square piece of paper for me to take.

My heart sank to the evil core of my body. It wanted to flutter at the fact that he'd thought of me, but its' damned little wings got stuck on the black and white sonogram image. Stabler baby number five. I couldn't help but feel ill for the behavior I'd been forcefully trying to manipulate.

He waited for my reply. What was I to do, but smile and agree? "I would feel greatly privileged to be the mother- god mother of your baby, Elliot. Absolutely."

He touched my cheek and winked. "You're a good friend, Liv. I honestly don't know anyone I'm closer to."

And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the mixed messages part of our segment. How close is too close? And does good friend fall under possible lover? I wanted to stop the game and call for a lifeline, but unfortunately I'd run out.

Elliot pushed open the door. "Well, have a good time tonight. Don't do anything I wouldn't do and if you do name it after me."

I faintly smiled. "It's a promise. Good night."

"Night, Liv."

Oh god, what was I doing. I leaned on the bench behind me looking at those tiny fuzzy fetus hands pressed against the roundness of its' little head. I couldn't go through with this. It wasn't in me. I spent all day selfishly divuldging in my Elliot and Olivia fantasies, but I couldn't possibly break up a family. I've lost my mind. My heart stopped as the thoughts of reality came into play. Once again, I would be let down by the personal woe's of life.

**(Silly girl) Shame on you your Mama said**

**(Silly girl) Shame on you, you cried in bed**

**(Silly girl) Shame on you, you told a lie**

**Big girls do cry**

And then I noticed something on the edge of the sonogram. March 2, 2004. That couldn't be right. That would make Kathy's pregnancy three years old. This is an old image. I flipped the paper in my hand and searched for a better answer, but nothing was coming to me. This sonogram was either misdated or badly baited.

"Elliot!"

I ran into the office just in time to catch---

"Olivia Benson."

…a tall man with Hugh Jackman features and a large set of muscles bulging from his tight black shirt. He stood next to my desk holding roses and smiling like a model on a billboard.

"Olivia, I'm Ronan Miles. Nice to finally meet you."

"Ahhh…Hi! Hello, thank you." I took the roses and shot Munch a rage against the machine glare. Both he and Fin pulled files in front of their faces and pretended to be 'at work.'

Elliot was stopped at his desk and I could tell by the way he was purposefully ignoring the room that he was uncomfortable. Although, Ronan did practically cover him from my sight. Just as I was about to grab Elliot's attention, he waved to the office and headed for the hallway.

"Hold that thought, Ronan. Elliot!"

"Yeah."

The space between us was treacherously unnerving. "I need to…"

And then his phone rang. "Yeah, Liv, what is it?"

"Nothing."

I couldn't tell him like this with the whole office watching us. He answered his phone in the entranceway. "Kathy? Hello! That was my ear. Hey, settle down. I don't know what you're talking about. No, I'm not seeing another woman. What? Well, I don't know why anybody would have told you that. Called you on the phone? Personals ad? I...what? Why….When…well it's got to be a typo! Ah, you know what, I can't talk to you if you're going to yell at me."

Elliot waved a second time to the rest of the office, gave a flicker of jealous glances to Fabio's younger brother, Ronan, and turned just in time to run into Casey.

"Hang up the phone, Archie, O'Mally just won the case."

"What," I said dropping the dozen roses onto Elliot's desk.

"What happened, " Elliot asked, as he hung up his phone and walked back into the room.

"Not enough evidence. The jury bought into our rape victim's dirty past. She was covering up her affair with Donald. Our other dead victims could have been killed by anybody in O'Mally's group."

" So now what," I interrupted.

"You gotta find me more evidence or a new perp."

Elliot dropped his bag on top of my red roses and looked up at Cragen, who was shuffling out from his office with a furrowed brow of concern. "You gotta any ideas, Cap?"

"Go over everything again, take a better look at our killer's profile, and hope we get him before he strikes again. Maybe O'Mally's court room visit will keep him from attacking."

George Huang walked in shortly after Casey. He held a file in his hands. " Your killer is a necrophilliac. He's not going to stop because O'Mally lost the case."

Everyone, including Ronan, who was by this point completely out of his element, turned to face George. "Necrophilia is most commonly started by a personality disorder or by someone who was raped or abused and can no longer feel comfortable with the contact of a living human being. They aren't usually killers, but there have been cases where the person was strongly abused. I'd say that your perp is an outcast. If he is part of O'Mally's group, he's going to be on the lowest rank."

I tried to think of every guy we'd met during our witness interviews and could come up with nothing on hand. Ronan paced uncomfortably next to me. I'm sure our usage of words containing more than five letters was enough to make his pretty little head spin. I took him to the side and whispered to him that I'd have to reschedule for another night.

Huang continued as I escorted Ronan to the hallway and dug through my own files on the case.

"If O'Mally knows about the perp's fetish, he may even be hiring him to do O'Mally's dirty work. I also, wouldn't be surprised if O'Mally was our perp's abuser. According to your records, all of the deceased have been women close to O'Mally. Loral, your living victim stated that she didn't see the rapist, only knew he was working for O'Mally by the feel of his jacket. I'd say if you find O'Mally's newest girlfriend, you've pretty much found your next victim."

"So what's the deal with Donald Radcliff," Fin asked.

I spouted off the information as Elliot flipped through the pages in my hand. "Loral was O'Mally's girlfriend. She was cheating on him with Donald Radcliff. She then got raped and while fleeing from the scene got picked up by the cops. When O'Mally found out he forced Donald to confess to the rapes or he'd kill his family. Now we only have Donald's word against O'Mally's, but I'm siding with Donald on this one. After our third interrogation I know he couldn't handle those murders."

"And that's not enough evidence," Casey added.

"Right," Huang nodded. "But that's odd. Why would O'Mally want to cover up the rape unless he knew about it? Our necrophiliac has got to be close to O'Mally. Have you come across any family members of O'Mally's?"

"No," Elliot answered. "He's the last of his blood line, as far as we know."

"Have you gotten any strange awkward behavior from any of his group?"

"No," Munch added. "But that doesn't mean we've met them all. When Fin and I originally interviewed them, O'Mally was really specific with who we could talk to. In fact, several men left the bar the second we flashed our badges."

"Okay," Cragen continued. "Here's what we do, I need a you to follow their group until we have these answers. Find out where O'Mally picks up his girls, find out if he has a new one yet, and keep your eye out for anyone with a shy disposition."

"Captain, I have in my notes that Loral met O'Mally at the Kit Kat Club. She said he's a regular there." I placed my notes in Cragen's hand.

"Great, that's where we start. Go get your nightclub wear; I want you in this club. Munch and Fin, they know your faces, you stay out of their sights. You'll be following in the car, and watching the building. Elliot and Olivia, I want you inside. Make friends, be his pal, buy him a drink, find out who he's protecting."

We all nodded and went our ways. I still had the sonogram in my hand, but I couldn't decide how to broach the subject. I wasn't even sure why Kathy would make something like this up or how she was hiding it from him. I went to ask and then stopped. Elliot looked really upset. I touched his arm and he pulled away.

"You ok?"

"No, Kathy's pissed and she's gonna be even more pissed when I tell her I won't be home."

"Why?"

"Because it doesn't matter what I do, I'll always be cheating on her!"

He grabbed his bag and slammed the wall as he headed to the elevators. "I'll be back in a hour."

Casey slightly cringed as he left. I was so angry that I couldn't even be in the same room with her right now. My crushed roses lay broken across Elliot's desk. If this was a sign it didn't involve romance. I grabbed the flowers and threw them in the trash. Red peddles scattered across our desks and onto the floor.

**Baby I was cruel (I was cruel)**

**Baby I'm a fool (I'm such a fool)**

**AN: drop me your thoughts. There will only be four more chapters, so I won't be stringing the kill for too much longer. Hope you enjoyed. Scar **


	6. Shadow Boxers

**AN: Okay I have a question for you all. Firstly, I tried posting this story on the SVU fanfic site and they made me edit the shit out of it. They are hard core over there! It's asinine! But it was helpful too, so I'm not complaining too much. At any rate- they seem to think that the songs in the story are wrong or out of place. My thing about adding music is that I write with the idea that this would be a film and you can't have a good film without music, so I often think of music while I'm writing. What do you guys think? Should I cut the music in this story or leave it? Be honest- it's ok- you're not going to hurt my feelings. Really. I get paid to have a director critique my acting choices on a daily basis- I can handle criticism. **

**Also, I really really had fun writing the mob guys in this chapter. I hope you have fun reading it. **

**And the song I use for this is much better if you actually know what the instrumental part sounds like. You don't have to download it- but it's really fun and creepy and just excellently dark, so if you get the time you should. It's Tom Waits "Heart Attack and Vine"**

**Smootches to everyone that I've been talking to on this wonderful site of fanfic and thanks for the reviews and the sarcastic conversation. It's fun fun fun! I love typing in threes. Love it, love it, love it!!!  
**

**Lastly, the next chapter will have some Mariposa smut in it- SOOOOOO- don't kill me for teasing you in this chapter! **

**Read Mari's "Desires"- It's HOT!!! And funny! But mostly HOT! You can't not be horny after her stories! **

**And Mrslee has really good crime stories. I'm reading "Serial" right now and I'm on edge. UPDATE girl! UPDATE!!!!!**

**Shalom in the home!**

**Scarlett**

**Shadow Boxers **

Elliot and I walked through the red doors of the Kit Kat Club and our estranged feelings washed away as a thick cloud of cigarette smoke and erratic lighting billowed around us.

A gaggle of scantily clad young ladies pushed into Elliot's shoulder by accident, then giggled to a corner of the bar.

I turned to Elliot with wide eyes.

"Looks like you came over dressed," He yelled through the loud music.

I stood in my glittering red dress with shock on my face. "You're not kidding. This used to be a respectable burlesque house. What the hell happened?"

"Pro-bono whores," Elliot, replied.

"What's that?"

"My son's term for non-pro women dressed like that."

"That's creative."

"I thought so. Shall we?"

I nodded and Elliot loosened his thin black tie as we split up and scanned the room.

It didn't take long to find Thomas O'Mally. Elliot tilted his head to the center table where he sat with a pose of drunken men and their token women of the evening.

From the looks of the women hanging on O'Mally's suit coat, I could tell that finding his newest lady was going to be like picking out a needle from a haystack.

Every woman was unlike the next and as far as we could tell that pattern ran all the way from his dirty hands and into the cold graves of our victims.

Thomas was into anything that moved and had breasts. He was a well-known ladies man, and don't ask me how. He reminded me of Harvey Firestein and the little red headed man from "The Princess Bride". The fact that he was the leader of the Irish Mob was inconceivable!

From his foul breath and pock marked face right down to his wondering fingers, Thomas O'Mally was a crude man in an expensive pair of shoes.

I sat at the bar and watched him as he held a scotch on the rocks in one hand and a blonde woman's thigh in the other. Everybody at his table gravitated to his graveling charm. It was repulsive to see what people would do to be around a man with money.

Elliot sat next to O'Mally's table and pulled out a wad of cash. The girl dancing on stage shook her way to his side of the room and made a few raunchy hip curls in a pair of 1940's underwear.

"Hey Lulu, how come you don't dance like that for me anymore," O'Mally yelled.

"Cause you don't put out, sweetheart."

With that she bent over and pushed Elliot's fingers into her lacey panties.

"Ow, she told you boss," snickered one of O'Mally's wirey lackies.

"Shut your yap, Seamus, and get my stogies."

O'Mally slammed down his scotch and looked towards Elliot. "Hey you, Daddy Warbucks, whatdda you think this is, a charity benefit? You're making me look bad."

"What can I say, I got a way with women."

The blonde to O'Mally's right side giggled and touched the side of his neck. "Did you hear that, Tommy? He says he's got a way with women."

"Yeah, I heard him. My money could make her ass shake harder than your money could, saggy nuts. Isn't that right, Shirley?"

"Ha, ha, yeah," she squawked. "You can say that again, Tommy."

Elliot held his post and sipped from the diet coke on his table. "Unless you got a pot of gold under that skirt I can't see how my money's any different than yours, pal."

"Hey," Shirley yelled. "My pot is as gold as it gets, sugar. Wanna see?"

"Maybe later. My eyes can only handle one die job at a time."

O'Mally wheezed out a hack of a laugh and slapped Shirley on the ass. "That's hilarious! Get outta here, toots. Let me talk to this moop alone."

Shirley wobbled to her feet and staggered towards the bar.

"You're funny, Mr. Money. I like that. A man who knows a woman's place and has a sense of humor about it. What's your name?"

"Daniel Finnegan."

"Irish?"

"To the core."

The music grew loud as a new burlesque dancer made her way to center stage. I couldn't hear the conversation at all, and I needed to figure out how to get more information.

Sitting on this bar stool was getting me nowhere. Shirley sat two stools down from me and cackled to a few of her loud-mouthed girlfriends about manicures and tanning. I just hoped Elliot was making more headway by going straight to the horse's mouth.

Fifteen minutes of bikini waxing conversation later and Seamus walked by me and dropped a few Cuban cigars on the table. "Your stogies, boss."

O'Mally ripped off the end and held the brown leafy cigar in his mouth. "Here, Danny boy, have one on me."

I watched Elliot take the cigar as they looked for a light. From this angle, I couldn't tell how things were going, but I decided to make a dent. O'Mally's lack of fire prompted my entrance. I grabbed a pack of matches from the bar and made my way to the table.

"Fire?"

O'Mally lifted his face from the table and smiled at the lit match in my polished fingers. Leaning towards me with that gold tooth and his greasy pompadour, he sucked in the fresh tobacco as his filthy eyes scanned my cleavage like it was a public meat market.

"Thanks, sweetheart. Why don't you get my buddy here while you're at it?"

I turned to Elliot and clicked the book of matches with my forefinger. "Does, buddy here, have a name or should I call him buddy?"

Elliot's eyes flickered to a pause on my rouged smirk and I grabbed the cigar from his hands. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Daniel," was all he said before guiding the cigar in my hand to his mouth.

I swiped a match and lit the end of it. His exhalation was enough to tempt my ever-present sexual ramifications.

That suit, his hands and the way they casually held the cigar, the five o'clock shadow lightly forming around his lips, and the smoke falling ever so carefully around his face; all of it came together in a package of pure seduction.

My professional undercover job was beginning to fade in the haze of the moment. But, no, I couldn't think about that right now. The clock was ticking and I was punched in.

Elliot's eyes glanced away from my gaze and I could feel O'Mally watching my ass. His crass behavior was reflecting off of the subtle tension I could see forming on Elliot's face.

"Why don't you take a picture, honey, it lasts longer," I gleamed from the corner of my eye. I blew out the match and slowly walked away. O'Mally grabbed my arm.

"Where you going so fast, Cinderella? Sit here," he snickered and padded the chair next to him.

"I thought that seat was taken," I purred in a low voice while glancing at the ditzy blonde at the bar.

"Her? She's what I like to call an easy fuck."

"Really," I gapped.

"Yeah, but she ain't got nothing on you, sweet cheeks. In fact, why don't you park your hot hiney on my lap? I got a tent just looking at you."

My feminine pride swelled up with anger at the mere sound of those words coming from his mouth and the way he held my arm with his slimy hand. I was about to rip out his vocal chords. Nobody gets away with that kind of behavior.

My body twitched around to face its' prey, but Elliot must have saw the signs, because my hand never made it to O'Mally's jugular.

"Don't," he coughed and spilled his drink all over the table.

"Jesus, Finnegan! Whatdda you got turrets?"

O'Mally pushed his chair back and slapped the beads of coke from the side of his suit. "Dis is an Armani suit, fuck wad."

"Man, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I got a tickle in my throat. Here's a napkin."

Elliot held out a tiny square of napkin and O'Mally threw it to the ground. "I'm going to the John. Clean that shit up. And you, firecracker, stick around. Mally's gonna make you a princess."

As he turned, Elliot gave me the old "what the fuck were you thinking" stare while I bent over and helped him pick up his glass.

"Don't even give me that look. He's an asshole who deserved to be hit."

"Sounds great, but after we get our evidence, Uma Thurman, mmkay."

I let out a bit of anger as he took the soggy napkins from my hand. "How's it going over here? I can't hear anything from the bar."

"They're taking the party back to his place for a poker game. You think you can keep your cool? He likes you. Just go with it. I've got your back."

"Elliot, I know the routine. But none of these guys fit the profile. You think we're wasting our time?"

"If you can just play the role for a few hours, I know we can get the lead. If our perp is as abused as he comes off to be, it's possible that O'Mally's keeping him at home. You gonna be okay with this?"

I looked at my watch and sucked up my pride. "Yeah."

After all it wouldn't be the first time I'd played the alluring temptress today.

_**Fade in music, Tom Waits "Heart attack and Vine" as Olivia takes a drink from a glass on a passing waitress' tray. Elliot sits crossed legged in the chair next to her trying not to look at the dancer on stage and doing his best to ignore the wild thoughts of Olivia in that red dress with a lit match. He only wished he could be alone with a Jameson and his own thoughts; anything to save him from the weight of his conflicted soul.**_

**liar liar with your pants on fire, white spades hangin' on the telephone**

**wire, gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line, you'll never recognize**

**yourself on heartattack and vine.**

**doctor lawyer beggar man thief, philly joe remarkable looks on in disbelief,**

**if you want a taste of madness, you'll have to wait in line, you'll probably**

**see someone you know on heartattack and vine.**

**SCENE**

**The O'Mally residence**

**634 Vine St.**

**New York, NY**

I sat on the edge of the table. Right where O'Mally told me to sit. Trust me, I had to grit my teeth to get here. The last thing I wanted to do was sit with my thigh that close to O'Mally's face.

Four slobbish men in cheap suits shared the table with my ass, Elliot, and the king of the pigs himself, Thomas O'Mally. Each one of them cursing and smoking with naked lady poker cards.

I held back a yawn and glanced at the grandfather clock in the living room. 1am. We'd been with these chumps for five hours and still had nothing but a pair of Jacks.

Elliot's hand at poker was amateur to say the least. All these years of working together and I never knew he was such a terrible poker player. At least he held a good face. I think it was the only thing keeping him in the game at this point.

I was about to take this investigation to the powder room when a door in the kitchen creaked open.

"Seamus, you ass, I can see your bluff a mile away," O'Mally crocked.

I saw the hand come around the door and then the head. I young boy around 18 or 19 years old peaked up at me. His face was freckled and his hair was a fiery red.

Thomas looked up at me and turned to see what I was starring at.

"Nobody invited you to the party wart, get back down there," he yelled.

The poker game stopped and then O'Mally put his hand on my thigh. "Sorry 'bout that, Cindy. He's harmless."

It took everything in my power to allow O'Mally's hand to stay on my leg as I asked ", Who was that?"

"That's Tommy's worthless brother, William," chuckled a short fat guy named Charlie.

Seamus started to laugh with him then stopped when O'Mally drew his gun from the back of his belt.

"Did she ask you?"

Charlie stopped and shook his head.

"Then shut your trap or I'll blow the chuck right out of your fat ass face!"

When the tension fizzled I lifted O'Mally's hand from my leg and got off the table. "Scuse me boys, I have to use the lady's room."

Seamus giggled and slapped Charlie on the arm "Lady's room. She wants to use the lady's room. What is this the Hilton?"

"Shut it," O'Mally yelled as he fired his gun into the ceiling. "Take her to the John, Seamus."

Elliot's eyes grabbed mine with a hint of concern. I swallowed and blinked a sign of reassurance as I waited for Seamus to lead the way.

He led me down a long hallway and up a large vintage looking staircase. I opened the door to the bathroom and nodded to him.

"Thanks."

When he didn't look like he was going to leave I cocked my hip and said with a lifted brow ", Can't a girl get some privacy around here?"

"I'll be downstairs," He grumbled then said to himself ", Fuck'n broads. They're all high maintenance."

Once I was behind the bathroom door, I listened for Seamus to leave then took the portable from my purse.

"Munch, we found our profile."

"We heard. Cragen wants you both out of there."

"Why? We've got nothing but a face. Give us an hour."

"It's too risky. The gunshot almost gave him a heart attack and what are you gonna do when O'Mally has you cornered? Get out. You copy?"

I sighed and slapped the sink with the dead weight of my hand. "Copy that."

When I opened the door a shadow moved in a bedroom at the end of the hall.

"Hello?"

The door was slightly opened and I peaked my head into the room. "Seamus?"

The movement had stopped, but I knew he was there. "William?"

His figure ducked behind, what looked like the shape of a bed. "William, I'm O... Cindy. It's okay I won't tell Thomas. You can talk to me. I like red hair."

I wanted to turn the light on, but a voice yelled at the bottom of the stairs. "Hey, you fall in or what?"

I backed away and William shut the door and locked it. "Damn."

Slowly I headed down the stairs where Seamus leaned on the old wooden banister smoking a cigarette.

"Not everybody was raised by wolves. I had to wash my hands."

"Whatever."

When we got back to the room, O'Mally was standing over the table waving a stack of cash at Elliot's face. "Take it you pussy."

"Hey, I lost. It's yours."

"Don't patronize me, Danny boy. Take the fuck'n cash."

"Tommy," I intervened. "I have to leave you before I turn into a pumpkin."

O'Mally dropped the cash and grabbed my hand. "Nooo! Cindycracker, sweet bottom, love of my life, you can't leave me now. I was just about to win all my money back."

"Sorry, I have an early day tomorrow."

"Screw your day. I need a lay. Seamus, take her upstairs."

Seamus smashed his cigarette into an ashtray and pulled me towards the staircase begrudgingly.

"Now Tommy, it's been swell, but I've really got to get going."

O'Mally pulled me away from the door. "Come on baby, take the day off."

"Tommy, don't make me have to mace you. Another night, okay darling," I smiled.

"Ow, that's sexy. Playing hard to get. If it's Sandra Dee you're going for I have plenty of spare rooms. Come on stay the night, doll face."

Elliot's chair scrapped against the floor as he stood up. "You heard the lady. She has to go."

O'Mally backed off and let my arm go. "Danny's feeling chivalrous tonight. That's fine, Danny Boy. You settle down now. Cindy wants to go home. You do that Cindy, but I will have my way with you."

As he said this he traced the side of my neck with his finger and started for my chest.

I grabbed his arm and withdrew it steadily away from my body. "Tut, tut, tut, Tommy baby. I'm not what you call…an easy fuck."

"Ohhh, you are a fucking tease is what you are," he shuddered then slapped my ass, which startled me. I broke character and looked right at Elliot with a surprised look of disgust on my face.

O'Mally looked over at Elliot and threw him another cigar. "Danny, be a kiss ass and drive the lady home."

I let out the nervous tension from my chest as we made our way to the front door. Elliot placed his hand on the small of my back and closed the door behind us.

"You hanging in there, Cinderella?"

"Now that we're out with both glass slippers, I'm just fine. I thought we were gonna have to pull our guns for a second there."

"You're telling me," Elliot replied. "Did you see our guy?"

"Crystal clear. Now all we gotta do is prove it was him. I want to go through the security tapes again. If we can find him in any of the shots, we can get an order to question him, maybe even get a warrant to search the house."

"Glad to hear that. I was starting to think we were screwed."

Elliot opened the passenger side door for me and helped me in. "Thank you, Danny boy."

"Anytime, Princess."

The drive home was releasing. I was glad to be able to slouch comfortably and not have to worry about a hand reaching for different parts of my body. Elliot seemed at ease too.

He rolled down the windows and held his hand in the wind. The cold fresh air felt good on my smoke ridden skin and lungs. Pieces of hair blew softly off of my face and tickled the nap of my neck. It was like having a soft massage. I sighed and looked at Elliot who smiled back at me.

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Yes," I said as I closed my eyes.

We drove in silence for a moment, listening to the wind and the mostly quiet streets of New York.

Then I leaned my head against the back of the seat and turned my face towards his.

"Elliot."

"Yeah."

"Did you go with Kathy to have that sonogram taken?"

"The sonogram? No. Why?"

"I…now just hear me out. I noticed the date on the photo was three years old."

He didn't answer me at first, but I could tell he was offended. "What are you getting at? Are you saying Kathy's lying to me?"

"No. No, that's not what I meant, I just think you should make sure the hospital didn't mix anything up, because you'll want to know if the baby is healthy. You'll want to know it's the right one."

Elliot rubbed his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you."

"Elliot, I'm not telling you this to cause you more pain."

"You think I'm blind. I know you all have your negative issues with Kathy, but I thought that out of everybody in the office, you were behind me on this. I thought that you understood."

"El, I'm not accusing, I'm just looking out for you. For both of you."

"Come on, Olivia, three years ago Kathy and I weren't even living in the same house, let alone consummating."

"I know."

Elliot started to put things together in his mind and the car swerved from the loss of his concentration.

"Elliot, do you need to pull over?"

"How could I…No, it's a mistake. It has to be. There's no way that she would lie about something like this. And I would know if she weren't pregnant."

"Would you? I mean, when was the last time you slept in the same bed with her."

"I sleep… in the house…That's beside the point, she has a stomach. You're wrong," he cried.

"Elliot, god I hope I'm wrong, but please pull over. You're upset and you shouldn't be driving."

Luckily we were blocks from my apartment. With a roar of the engine Elliot sped to my street, screeched to a halt in front of my building and hit the steering wheel with his fist. "Fuck!"

"Elliot, calm down. Can we talk about this before you go doing something that you'll regret?"

"Liv, get out, please. I've got to go home and speak with my lying manipulative wife."

His face was beat red and his breathing was labored.

The last time I saw him this way he ended up breaking his fist open on a locker. He'd since then gotten anger management help, but in a high moment of stress I could see the rage boiling to come out.

"El, take a step back and breathe. Getting angry isn't going to make this better. How about you take a day to make sure it wasn't a computer mistake? Let's not get rash."

He took in a staccatoed breath of air and in an almost weak sob turned to me and said ", Olivia, she was seeing another man when we separated."

I watched the man who held himself so honorably fall with shame as he rehashed those memories.

"She was seeing another man, because I couldn't love her. I can't do this to myself anymore, Liv. She's worried about me cheating, because she's the one with the wondering eye. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that this is going to work… I can't… I just can't…I…I…"

His eyes filled with tears and the weight of his body fell into my arms as he sobbed. I'd never known Elliot to lean on me so openly before. I sympathetically cradled his head to my chest and tenderly rubbed the back of his head and neck.

"Shhh, it's okay. You're gonna be okay."

We stayed in the embrace for a long while and then he slowly pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I'm acting foolishly…god I've never been so upset about making a decision."

"It's a tough one to make."

"Listen, I don't want you to think badly of Kathy. It's not all her fault…the cheating, you know."

"The confession is sacredly preserved. And hey, you don't know anything for sure yet. Let's not go throwing stones until we know the facts, okay?"

"Yeah."

Elliot looked at his watch then sighed with exasperation.

"You gonna go home?"

"No."

"My couch is empty if you need it."

He grabbed my hand and rubbed it with appreciation. "Thank you, but I can't do that to you. I'm good. I'll go to the crib."

"Okay."

"Really, Liv, thank you. For everything."

"You're my best friend, Elliot, I'm here for you when you need it. Always."

I let his hand rest on mine for a moment. I never once looked into his eyes. I knew the urge was too great between the two of us and I couldn't allow us to have that kind of first in such a vulnerable state of mind.

After brewing up the strength to ignore his weakness, I opened the door and placed my foot on the curb.

I know what you're all thinking, I'm crazy for not taking the opportunity. I can hear Casey's brash comments as I step out of the car, but if it wasn't under the right pretenses I might as well be calling the Kettle Black. Besides, I was love sick, not narcissistic.

Quietly I smiled at his broken face and said ", Good night."

"Good night, Liv."

I watch his car drive away. Then as I turned towards my building, the headlights caught my eye not fifty feet away. The engine started up and I stopped to look in its' direction.

There facing me in a 1997 mini van was Kathy. She didn't see me looking at first, but then she turned and caught my glare. Haphazardly she pulled out of a space from across the street and followed Elliot's car. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on. I wanted to believe that my weary sleep depraved eyes were causing me to hallucinate, but something told me that this was something far more destructive.

_**Fade in "Heart attack and Vine" as the Olivia stands in the middle of the street watching the back of the mini van disappear down the street. Her body gets smaller and smaller as we rise above her and the city buildings consume our view**_.

**boney's high on china white, shorty found a punk, don't you know there ain't**

**no devil, there's just god when he's drunk, well this stuff will probably kill**

**you, let's do another line, what you say you meet me down on heartattack and**

**vine.**

**see that little jersey girl in the see-through top, with the peddle pushers**

**sucking on a soda pop, well i bet she's still a virgin but it's only twenty-**

**five 'til nine, you can see a million of 'em on heartattack and vine.**

**better off in iowa against your scrambled eggs, than crawling down cahuenga**

**on a broken pair of legs, you'll find your ignorance is blissful every goddamn**

**time, your're waitin' for the rtd on heartattack and vine.**

**AN: Write me something. Anything. It can be one word or 500. I don't care. Make me laugh. Make me cry. Oh, I love to jest about foul body functions, so you could even drop me a stinky review if you'd like. But people- if you felt anything from this story - let me know! **


	7. The Calm Under the Wave

**AN: Here ye Hear ye- this a beast of a chapter! The fucking titanic of all that is this story. Get some popcorn, make yourself comfortable, cause it's HUGE! Like Bear! So I'll keep this short. **

**Mariposangel--is an angel and makes me "Hot in here"!! She wrote the end of this little diddy, so please drop her some love. And do check out her stories, they are wonderful little gems. **

**And secondly...the bell tolls for death. My writing fingers are itching for blood. Next chapter. Hang on- cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride! Brew ha hahahahhahahah!**

**Also- if you haven't heard Jenny Owen Youngs sing "Hot in Here" do it- It is so much better then the original. Well, in my warped opinion. **

**The Calm Under the Wave **

I spent most of the night starring at the ceiling. Elliot's reactions and Kathy's Cruella Devil expression played over and over again in my mind. I prayed that she left Elliot alone and went home.

My ears were burning just thinking about the argument between them. If I was wrong about the sonogram Kathy would remain in the picture, which would be the moral thing to do, but that could really put a damper on any kind of relationship between Elliot and myself, and I mean that in both a romantic sense and a friendship way.

But why would she give him that old print out? Sonograms are usually made right in front of you. They check the baby and the little machine prints out the photo. The date is not something that the hospital would mess with or over look for three years. The likely hood of that happening was slim in my book.

Morning crept up my bedroom wall and I clicked off the alarm before it had a chance to bleep. After a long hot shower I got my things together and headed to the station.

Munch was making his way from the subway tunnel when I snuck up behind him.

"Boo!"

"Good morning, Olivia," he sullenly smiled, if that was even possible. Ah, who am I kidding, for Munch it was possible. His smile was more like a sweet sneer or a sad clown in a hobo costume.

"Did I scare you?"

"Scare me? First of all your ramshackle of keys can be heard half way around the block, and secondly, unless you're a poodle dressed in a pink sweater, scare is not in my emotional vocabulary."

"You're no fun, John Munch."

His eye winked in my direction as we headed through the revolving doors and towards the elevators. "I know I'm a regular party pooper."

**DING**

"YOU!!!"

"Huh?" I looked up to see Kathy's frightfully red face and stringy blonde hair coming at me.

"You BITCH! You devious lying bitch!"

"Whoa!" Munch cried as he dropped his newspaper and grabbed for her swinging arms.

She spazzed out and struggled to free herself from his grip. "Stop it! Let-meeee- GO! Munch! I have a bone to pick with this man-eating whore!"

I've been called a lot of things, but man-eating was actually quite complimentary. If my upper lip twitched with amusement it was not because I planned for it to.

With an annoyed hand jester I tried to direct Munch away from the center of the lobby. The whole building of cops paused to stare at Kathy's pregnant body scream and flail about.

Once away from the main entrance I did my best to assist the situation with uttemost professionalism. "Kathy, you're embarrassing yourself. Now settle down. If this is about the sonogram photo, I'm sorry, but I was only looking out for you."

"Looking out for me? Don't you mean yourself, you husband stealing cunt!"

"Hey," Munch hollered, while giving her a little shake. "Let's use our inside words, please. There are children in this building."

"Kathy, I never did anything to steal your husband."

Okay, that was a bit of a lie, but I never succeeded.

"I saw you, Olivia! I SAW YOU!"

Her tone was really getting to the tip of my patience, but I held my poise and tried to deal. "You saw what? Elliot leaving my building to sleep at the precinct? You saw him drop me off after work? You saw him upset because he wanted to talk to you calmly in the morning? Don't you think he would have come up to my apartment if I had 'stolen' him away from you? And the only reason why you saw any of that was because you were stalking me. Which is a violation of my privacy and can be held against you in the court of law, so keep swinging, sweetheart, because police brutality is lethal."

"Youuuuuuu…-AH! I can take you any day, Miss cop! You think the jury would convict a pregnant woman? Go ahead and tempt me. I will prove that you're the cause of this. I will!"

"Don't you _**dare**_ bring me into your petty jealous games, Kathy!"

Her eyes grew to the size of saucers and she pulled away from Munch and stood in front of me debating her actions. With a cowardly whimper she turned to leave the building. "You just have to interfere with everything! I can't get away from you! You know, I wish he'd never met you. My life was perfect until you came into it! And just when I thought you'd left for good, it was too late. I had to work hard to get him to dump that little Dani slut and then you _**had**_ to just come back! Why couldn't you've just stayed in Oregon?!"

"Darling, I think that Elliot's fling with Dani proves my point. I've got nothing to do with your marital issues."

"Well, I hope your happy now that you've convinced him that he has issues. I just have one thing to say to you before you get your way. Stay AWAY from my children, Olivia Benson! AWAY!!!!"

She backed up and ran into Fin, who was entering the building.

"Ho, watch out."

"WAHHH," she screamed fumbling away from him.

"Chill woman I was just making an entrance."

"All of you," she screamed. "All of you stay away from me! I want none of you near me… or my children...or my life! EVER!"

Munch and Fin looked at each other with tight lips as they held their mixed emotions of pity and laughter.

Of course, I couldn't let her leave with the last word. As she screamed ", EVER!" I lifted my duffle bag from the ground and bellowed in a low resonant voice ", unless you lied about the rest of the pregnancies, they're his children too. I'll see them if he wants me to see them."

With that I walked towards the elevators and she tripped on the garbage can near the doors. "Fuck you, Olivia!"

Her balance almost gave way and I turned to see her grab the wall and lift herself to her feet.

She looked at the silent lobby of people with violent rage and fixed her hair. Then in a fit of discomfort she pulled up her stomach and staggered out of the door.

Wait, did I just see that correctly? She pulled up her stomach. Her stomach. She moved her stomach. Like a rubber ball with elastic sides is what it looked like. I turned to Munch with question on my face.

"Did you just see that?"

"How could I have missed it?"

Fin handed me a coffee from the paper tray he held in his hand and watched Kathy yell all the way down the Precinct steps. "She's lost her damn mind."

Munch breathed in and sighed. "Ahhh, the sweet smell of prosthetic conspiracy. I never thought I'd see the day."

"You can say that again," I muttered.

Munch held his hand to my shoulder and smiled. "Don't look so beat. I thought you handled it well. That part about the court of law police brutality, that was priceless."

Fin took a sip of his coffee and pressed the up button on the elevator. "I'm sure we could get the security tapes. That'd make one hell of a Christmas gift. I'd just like to know how they've gone this long without sex?"

"Or physical contact," I added.

"There's a fine fine line between love and marriage, Liv. Some people make the love, some people make the marriage, very few make both," Munch said with a tilt of the head.

"I wonder if he knows," I thought out loud.

The doors opened and we all filed into the compartment.

Nobody answered my question, but we each had that glint of silent majority opinion.

Elliot might have asked her about the sonogram, but I'm sure she didn't pull up her stomach when she exited.

Fin looked at me, sniffed his itchy nose, and resumed watching the numbers rise from one to six. "So you're telling him right?"

**DING**

Again, my day would begin.

_**Fade in music,"Hot in Here" by Jenny Owen Youngs (Has to be this version-otherwise it don't fit) as the three Special Victims Unit detectives exit the elevator in slow motion**_.

**I was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious **

**I'm flirtacious, tryin' to show patience **

**I've been lookin' for the right time to shoot my steeze (you know) **

**Waitin' for the right time to flash them keys Eh Oh.**

**'Cos I feel like bustin' loose **

**Uh uh can't nobody stop the juice**

**uh**

**It's gettin' hot in here**

**So Hot **

**So take off all your clothes…**

When I got to my desk Elliot's suit pants were on my chair and there was a file neatly lying next to the keyboard. I opened it to find a picture of William O'Mally near one of our crime scenes taken from what appeared to be a security camera. His hands were circled with a red pen. They were dirty. Like he'd been burying something. I flipped through the report that Elliot had started to file when Casey walked into the office.

"Here's your warrant," she said throwing it at me and heading straight for the coffee pot.

I looked at the blue paper and ripped it open. "This is O'Mally's address."

"Yeah, that's what you wanted right?"

"I…well, yes. But it's not even 8:30."

"Well it better be god damn right, because Elliot woke me up at 5am. I was right in the middle of spooning with a very fine district attorney."

"Karma sucks, doesn't it?"

She flipped me the bird with her mug free hand.

I wanted to feel bad for her, but after the week of hell she'd put me through, she deserved it. I looked around for Elliot and headed to the back. "I'll catch you later, Case. Add sugar. It helps," I said as I headed for the crib.

She sipped the black coffee then lifted the mug with her back towards me. "Right, sugar."

I opened the door to the crib to find Elliot snoring in the pitch black.

"Elliot," I whispered.

He grunted and blinked his eyes a bit. "Huh?"

"Casey got the warrant."

"Great," he grumbled as he lifted himself from the bed.

He curled up around the blanket with nothing but his boxers on. The rest of his outfit was thrown about the floor and there was a smell of sweaty alcohol in the room.

"How long have you been asleep?"

"I got a few hours in."

I handed him his pants. "Liar."

He blinked wearily and yawned as he dropped the pants back to the floor ", I did my job. That's what I do when I can't sleep."

"I noticed that Kathy stopped by."

"AH, ah," he sputtered holding the sides of his head. "I don't want to even hear that name."

"What about the baby?"

"Liv, for god sake, we talked, yes, uhh- I don't even want to know about the baby. I can love any baby. That's what I do."

"I know that. I… are you sure there's even a--"

"OLIVIA! Mmmm, please …let's not go there. You know, it's just …too talky talky," he whined as he rocked back and forth rubbing his eyes.

"Are you ok?"

"I'd like to keep this all on the DL, you know…let it ride out until I can think. My head… it's just fuzzy…Fuzz."

"Well I hate to be the barer of bad news, but I'd say the whole building is up to speed on your perplexed marriage."

He slumped to his side and pulled the pillow over his head. An empty bottle of Jameson thumped to the floor. "WHHHHHY? Why god why? What did I do to deserve this?"

He then rolled over dropping the pillow to the ground and looking at me with swollen eyes and a tired slur.

"Elliot, you're drunk."

"Oh, Liv. Livvie, my Livvie, my angel, Olivia, help me. Tell me what to do. Just tell me. Gah, I…What did I do? I was a good husband. I never cheated. I could have, but I didn't. Why did I do that, Olivia? Why didn't I cheat?"

"Because you're a good man. Who needs to get his smelly act together. God, you reek of booze and rotten cigars."

"I should have cheated, then I could have avoided this whole mess."

His body slumped forward as he grabbed my arm and rubbed his cheek against my skin. "Mmm, you are so soft. Can't you just cheat with me?"

It was tempting. "Um, no. Elliot, you need to sober yourself before Cragen-"

"Tell me, Liv? Tell me what to do. You know. I know that you know. Cause you know me. You said it yourself. And I believe you. I –Trust- You," he slurred while shaking my hand.

I pulled him off of me and bent over to pick up the empty bottle.

"You," he smiled while pinching my nose.

"Oh, okay now, settle down, Mr. Stabler."

"Did I make you uncomfortable? God, I didn't want do that. Why am I like this?"

"Because you're drunk."

His arm came flying up from the bed to shush me and he pushed the blankets off of himself. "Is that why? NO- don't answer that. Because you know I know. I mean, we know what we—I need to do, don't we, Liv?"

I knelt next to him and starred at his pathetic face. He must have drunk the whole bottle in one gulp, because I'd never seen him like this before. It was definitely out of the ordinary. I wasn't entirely sure how to react.

"I'm a mess, Liv. Runnnn, before I get sober, because I'm a fuck up. And that is why. But I am not a quitter. Never would I quit. I am so tired…how am I awake? And drunk… but hey, I got you that warrant didn't I?"

"Yes you did," I smiled awkwardly handing him his shirt and socks. "And we're gonna need to get you sober, because it's your warrant as it is mine, and I'd like you not to get fired."

He gave me a wry glare and stood up from the bed. "Either way."

My eyes couldn't help but catch the large bulge coming from his underwear. I gasped with embarrassment. "Oh, my…gosh, I'm gonna go get you some coffee. You…do what you gotta do to make that go away. "

"Oh, like you've never seen it before."

My voice trailed off as I left the room. "Never yours, sweetheart."

"Well that's gonna have to change," he stammered. "I'm just glad the damn thing still works."

_**Fade IN music as Olivia transitions herself to the now active bullpen**_

**I need you to get up up on the dance floor **

**Give that man what he askin' for**

**Give a little bit a eh, eh **

**Wit' a little bit a eh, eh **

**Let it hang all out **

**Wit' a little bit of the eh, eh **

**And a sprinkle a that eh, eh **

**Let it just fall out**

**It's getting hot in here…**

"Olivia!"

"Youch!" Steaming hot coffee was not meant for my shirt.

Cragen bellowed from behind me.

"Shouldn't you have arrested William O'Mally by now?"

"Captain, we're on our way. Elliot's in the shower."

Cragen looked at his watch and gave me a disappointed glare before turning back into his office.

I walked by Fin's desk and handed him the coffee mug. "Do me a favor and put Elliot in the shower. And make him drink that coffee. And this Advil."

"Okay?"

"Oh, and clean up the crib before Cragen goes in there. Spray the Fabreeze. I've gotta go buy Elliot some clothes before we all get fired."

Fin shot me a frazzled look and headed to the locker room.

I'd dug through every bag and locker that Elliot owned, but except for the suit on his back, not one stitch of work clothing could I find. If Cragen knew he'd been sleeping at work drunk, he was gonna get a warning added to his many other warnings and the last thing I wanted to see added to Elliot's miserable life was a pink slip. Thankfully I knew his size. I grabbed my purse and ran for the nearest clothing store.

Thirty minutes later Elliot walked out of the precinct in a fresh pair of black slacks, a blue button down shirt, and a very nice purple tie. His grim face was another story, but that was something we were all going to have to ignore for the time being.

"I like this tie. You bought this for me?"

"It was an impulse buy."

His half opened eyes smiled as he rubbed the spot between my shoulder blades. "You like me, Olivia Benson."

"Don't even start. The like is getting harder and harder to withstand as the days go by. You're just lucky I pay attention to detail, otherwise you'd be walking around in that smelly mess of a suit you trashed yourself in last night."

"I left my over night bag at home when we changed into the undercover garb."

"And Elliot, if I ever catch you drunk like that again… may god and all the saints in heaven help you. That was completely unacceptable and I only put myself on a limb because…"

"Because you like me."

"Because--I'm serious, Elliot. If Cragen had caught you drinking, you'd have been fired. That was a bad move."

"I know it. Hey," he stopped me and pulled my hand to his lips. "Thank you."

Begrudgingly I accepted his apology and looked around to make sure nobody saw us. Then when his playful gratitude lasted just a hair too long for my taunted hormones to withstand I pulled away. "Here," I said handing him a piece of gum. "Take this."

"Gum? What did you forget the toothpicks," he smiled nudging me with his elbow.

"No, you just have rancid breath."

"Yeah well, Jameson doesn't exactly sit well with an empty stomach and coffee."

We rounded the corner of the building and got into the car. I drove, of course. Elliot closed his eyes and sipped on a water bottle and a can of Coke until we arrived at O'Mally's. Thankfully his sobriety was coming into focus with each minute. I really needed him to be alert for this one. The wrath of O'Mally's face when he finds out we're cops is going to sound off every Mob alarm in the vicinity.

Fin and Munch waited a block away with a crew of back up and some techies from the CSU department.

I looked at Elliot who, like a true professional, sat next to me with his game face on and his gun loaded. "You ready?"

"Let's do this, Princess."

Elliot stood to the side of the door as I knocked loudly. "NYPD open up!"

Just when I thought nobody would answer Seamus opened the door with a gun in his hand.

"You weren't fucking kidding when you said you had an early morning. Drop your weapon bitch."

I held a strong gaze at Seamus for fear that looking towards Elliot would cause him to fire a round of hot metal into one of us.

"Seamus, you're making a big mistake. I've got a warrant and a whole back up crew surrounding the area. Tell Tommy, to drop the act and let us take William in."

Seamus spit his chewing tobacco at my feet and smiled. "You know I can't do that. Besides it's much more interesting when there are hostages involved."

Before I could make any sort of move Seamus walked out of the house and Elliot took his shot. The blast was quick. Seamus dropped his gun and squealed like a pig.

I grabbed my portable while Elliot cuffed him. "We need a bus and back up now! One shot to the arm. One perp down. Possibly five more. Probably armed."

With a push to the ground Seamus fell over in tears. "You fuckers! This is fucked. You fuck'n pricks."

Elliot picked up my gun and kicked Seamus in the leg. "Shut up dick lick."

We waited for Munch and Fin to join us and proceeded through the house. For a bunch of pistol carrying hard asses these guys were all bark and no bite.

Once we took hold of Tommy, who was caught running like an over weight dog through the neighbors backyard, the rest of his half ass army was like butter. Just mentioning jail time made them drop their weapons and come clean.

I was the first to take the basement. Elliot followed close behind. The dark room was lit by five small nightlights and a television that was playing "I dream of Genie" reruns.

"William."

The young man sat in a corner petrified of our intrusion.

I put my gun away and nodded for Elliot to follow. "Do you remember me? My name is Olivia. I'm with the police. I'm here to help you. Will you come with me?"

He grunted in our direction and curled up against the wall.

Elliot whispered towards me and pointed to a corner of the basement. "Liv, look."

On one side of the room lay several dead bodies. All of them women. One of them was Shirley. They were all naked and bruised. Each of them were badly sliced up. Our eyes met with pale expressions. The brutal death of these women was one thing to think about, but then to add the thought of an imprisoned human being down here with them made my nightmares one shade darker. I turned to William who looked more like a scared child than a murderer, and knelt down beside him. Gently I placed my hand on his arm.

"Ah," he whimpered.

"William, I'm not going to hurt you. Look." My first thought was how I was going to get him to trust me and I pulled the pack of gum from my pocket. "Do you like gum? Here take a piece. It's sour apple. Go ahead, take it."

He reached out and slowly took the pack from my hand. After a few seconds I could see his body loosen up.

"William, did Tommy do this to those women."

He didn't answer. He just looked toward the dark stinking corner of the room and walked close to Elliot who was holding up the sheet that was covering one of the bodies. William took it from his hands. He was protecting them. Obsessively he covered the cold corpse with the bloody sheet and rubbed Shirley's hair into place.

I followed him and after he delicately starred at each body he crawled to the staircase and pulled out a box filled with tiny locks of hair.

"T-t-t-tom-mm-my's friends. T-tt-t-t-omm-m-my g-gave the-em to me."

"William when Tommy gave you his friends were they warm like me," I lightly touched his hand. "Or cold, like her," and then I placed his hand onto Shirley's hand.

He pointed to Shirley.

"Cold like her?"

William nodded. The rest of the investigation was heartbreaking but William came quietly. The evidence in the basement was more than enough to sentence Thomas O'Mally for a long time.

After a few ours of "Let's Make a Deal" with O'Mally's lawyer we'd wrapped up the case, placed William in a good facility, and were making our way back to the precinct to end a hard days work.

I sat in the passenger's side of the Sedan and felt an odd tingle in the pit of my stomach. It was as if my body were anticipating something or forgetting a task. You know the feeling. That feeling that you left the straightening iron on and your bathroom could be in flames as you think.

I knew my feeling wasn't due to hot appliances. I almost thought the day was too easy. I felt ripped of something. In a reminiscent daze I watched Elliot drive the car and tried to ignore the eeriness of it all.

"You look troubled," Elliot murmured through a side glance at my weary expression.

I licked my lips in thought. "Maybe. I'm not sure… I guess I thought that Thomas would have put up a better fight. You know? The match seemed too simple. Too effortless."

"If it's wrestling you want to do, I can take care of that for you."

I lightly smacked his arm and rolled my eyes. "Elliot Stabler, are you flirting with me?"

His eyes grew wide in that just-got-caught-with-my-hands-in-the-cookie-jar kind of way. "Is that what they call it? I just meant if it's action you want there are much safer…interesting ways to accomplish it."

I shook my head with relentless droll and looked toward the traffic. "How long have you been sleeping on that cot?"

"Hua, too long."

_**Fade in music as Elliot and Olivia smile and exit the car.**_

**Girl I think my butt's gettn' big**

**OWWWW**

**It's gettin' hot in here **

**So take off all your clothes **

**We are gettin' so hot **

**We're gonna take our clothes off**

The sweat was ready to be released from our pores as this Manhattan unit of ours closed the file to its' three month investigation. It was high time for a celebration.

When we got back to the precinct Fin and Munch had already declared that we were skipping our final dodge ball practice and going to the pub for a few pints.

Elliot flopped tiredly at his desk and yawned. "I think I'm gonna have to pass."

"Figures," Fin scoffed.

"That's not why, and you, of all people should know it," Elliot barked without even looking at Fin.

"We wanted you to see the light not drink all night, Stabler. But it's fine with me. I can certainly do without cleaning your vomit again," Fin rambled as everyone coughed to make him shut up.

"Is there something I'm missing," Cragen asked.

"No," we all replied in unison.

"On that note," Casey started, trying to change the subject. "I'm always up for a drink. Who's going?"

I looked at my grimy clothes and felt pretty uncelebratory. "I'll go, but you guys gotta give me a few minutes to freshen up. I feel like death."

"You look like death," Munch bantered.

"Like you've got room to talk, Mr. Black," I yapped.

"Make it quick, Benson, some of us needed a beer two hours ago," Fin added.

I walked over to my small locker and dug for my purse in forced slow motion. I had to give them hell every chance I got.

Cragen obliviously sat on Elliot's desk to continue the conversation. "I haven't been to the pub in ages. I'm in if Diet Coke is still a kosher bar option."

"Don, you're figure is fine. At least have a regular one for me," Elliot poked.

"Is that so," he chuckled with a pat to his belly. "In that case I will, sir. You going home?"

"Ah…yeee- No, actually."

He said this directly at me. The stare was so catapulting that I dropped my lock and the key bounced under the station of lockers.

The five of us still lingering in the office stopped all movement and gave Elliot our full attention.

"What," he spat. "Like it's a big surprise! You want me to say that you were all, right? Do you want a cookie? Can I bow and grovel at your feet?"

Casey's excited face softened when she saw the sad failure in his body language. "Elliot, you can't say you didn't try. No matter what anybody says. Try is better than didn't. And I'm a chocolate chip kinda gal, if you're offering."

"So does that mean you're sending in the papers this time," Munch pushed.

I was expecting an angry reaction from Elliot, but instead he almost smiled and then lightly glanced up at me. "I'm gonna take some advice I should have followed a long time ago and make a step in the right direction."

"So what's that mean?"

"Yes, Munch, I'm going to follow my instincts instead of my stability and send in the papers. Does the whole family approve?"

Maybe my feeling of void was waiting to hear those words. A fountain of warm happiness came over my body as I reached for the key and locked my cubbyhole.

"Liv, let's go, I'm not waiting all night," Fin complained.

It was a new feeling to be moved by something other than the sound of a gun or the tiny hands of a frightened abused child. I suddenly felt different. Alive. Reborn.

My eyes were seeing new colors. Neon pinks and iridescent blues. Dark chocolaty shadows.

They say that when a single woman of my age finally lets her guard down she finds herself caught in the web of unfounded behavior. My natural instinct would have normally poisoned the thoughts of lust from my mind, but contrary to popular belief even the black widow lets a few of her mates slide. I like to believe those mates are the rare male specimens whom she truly endures. And in that moment of potential fulfillment I could feel myself growing hungry. Hungry for more. Hungry for him. Had I remembered our stomachs were on the same schedule I may have convinced him to sleep on my couch.

**Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.**

_**The lighting flickers to a black and white hue with hints of red bleeding through the highlighted shapes. Our heroic characters pulse to the sound of their own beat.**_

I make my way into the locker room. I make quick work of my hair and make-up. I smile slipping into the black satin halter I picked out this morning. I love the way this dress hugs every curve of my body. Damn I forgot my strapless bra! Oh well, guess I'll be braless tonight.

I hang up my phone and grab my purse. I check myself in the mirror and saunter downstairs. The office appears to be empty. Elliot sits with his back towards me.

"Where is everybody?"

"They said to meet them ther…Wow, Liv!"

Elliot exhales.

"What," I ask coyly. I know damn well what.

"You look amazing. Sure you're only going to the pub," he asks. I think I hear a twinge of jealousy in his voice.

"Just the pub," I smile.

"Don't cause too much trouble tonight." he says by way of a farewell. I wiggle my ass a little more than necessary on my way out. I'm half way down the hall when I reach into my bag to call Casey and make sure she knows I'm leaving.

My phone. I think I left it on Elliot's…desk. I turn around and walk back into the squad room.

"I thought you were off to paint the town red." Elliot smirks.

"I left my phone." I explain leaning over the edge of his desk to retrieve it. Elliot grabs my hand when I pull back. "What?" I ask sitting on the edge of the desk.

"Nothing, I just wanted to thank you for being there for me lately and for opening my eyes. Thank you, Liv." He grins.

"You don't ever have to thank me, El. You've pulled me off the ledge more time than I care to count." I shrug patting his shoulder. I stand up to leave and Elliot surprises me when he stands too. He leans close to me and I can feel the warmth of his breath lingering on my lips. I feel something pop and he smiles at me.

"Tag." He explains holding it up between us. He glances at it then down at my dress licking his lips. I feel my nipples harden under his heated gaze. "Worth every penny of the $280 you paid for it. Trust me." He grins like a lion that's just cornered his prey.

"Th-t-thanks." I stutter feeling his presence go straight to my head.

"Thank you for wearing it." He retorts taking a step closer to me. I take two steps back and to the right and lean up against Munch's desk in order to get some space from him. "You running from me, Liv?" He laughs pinning me between his body and Munch's desk.

"No." I reply strongly, lifting my chin in defiance.

"Good, cause I really hate it when you run from me." He smiles his hands sliding up the sides of my thighs and resting on my hips. I moan softly.

"Oooh, but I love it when you do that." He groans pulling my hips to his. My eyes widen the moment I feel his thick long gloriously hard erection pressed against my belly. "See what you did?" He playfully growls.

Okay Liv moment of truth: indulge in your biggest fantasy or persevere one stable relationship. PRESERVE!! He just announced that he is divorcing his wife. Don't be a fool Olivia.

"Elliot, don't do something you're going to regret the moment you cum." I warn trying to back up but only succeeding in hopping on top of the desk. And that doesn't help because he seductively parts my legs and steps between them.

"You see that's the thing; I'm not going to regret a damn thing. I want you and I've got a 8 year fucking hard-on to prove it." His words lick my skin and I feel myself cream and throb instantly. "No, I'm lying. I am going to have one regret." He says seriously. I swallow hard preparing myself for the let down. "I don't have a can of whipped cream to cover you from head to toe in."

"Oy Vey!" I groan. Elliot leans forward and his lips hover over mine letting me decide if this is something I want. I pull back and his eyes flame mid-night blue. He pulls back grinning at me. I look like a slut on display. I'm sprawled on top of John's desk, panting- (mind you he has yet to really touch me), and flushed with Elliot standing between my legs.

"Tell me you don't want me and I'll stop. You know I will." He tells me folding his arms across his chest. I whimper watching his muscles flex under taunt tanned skin. I want you and that's the problem, Stabler! God, it's hard to lie to him. I'll just skirt around the truth.

"Stop." I whisper my voice shaking. Elliot's eyes narrow before he steps back. He doesn't say anything just watches me closely.

"You never could lie to me, could you?" He smirks settling his hands on my thighs. Son of a bitch if he didn't see right though that.

"No." I moan. "I want you, El. I want you so damn bad!" I growl looking up at him through heavy lidded eyes. One hand slips behind my back and he pulls me to the edge of the desk. My hip hits the in/out tray and it goes tumbling to the floor taking several flies with it.

"I know you do. It's written all over this delicious body." He grins skimming his hands over me. He leans forward spearing his fingers through my hair and slanting his mouth over mine. His tongue slips between my lips and hotly massages my own. Inviting it to come out and play. Elliot's other hand slips up my dress and beneath my thong. He teases my swollen sex. His fingers on me shock my entire system; I start a war with our kiss, which he gladly participates in. He slides two fingers into me and I throw my head back crying out his name. It's been too long.

"You like that?" He asks.

"Yes, God yes!" I moan. "Make me cum, El!" I command thrusting myself on to his thick long fingers.

"Oh I intend to keep you cumming all night, baby." God YES!!! He's thrusting away inside of me as he rains sweet moist kisses over my throat and the exposed chest area. Damn dress is in the way. My breasts are swollen and yearning for his touch. He suckles my right nipple through the soft satin of my dress. I can feel him claiming me as he writes his name against my g-spot while his thumb flicks over my clit rhythmically.

**E**- my nipples tighten. **L**- my skin flames with a 9-alarm fire. **L**- my teeth sink in to my bottom lip so hard I can taste blood seeping on to my tongue. **I**- every muscle in my body coils tightly ready to strike faster that a cobra. **O**- my leg spasms knocking Fin's lamp on to the floor sending glasses shattering all over. **T**- my back arches up off the desk.

"ELLIOT!!!" I scream out as bright lights explode behind my eyes. I tremble like a lone leaf on a branch in December. I gasp in gulps of air feeling as though I'm drowning.

"Fuck, that was sexy." Elliot breathes.

"Shit, that was so good, El." I coo reaching up with a shaky hand to caress his face.

"God you are so fucking incredible." Elliot says shaking his head while withdrawing his fingers from my body. He slowly brings them up to his mouth but I intercept dragging them to my lips. I slide my hot mouth over both fingers and suck as if they were decidedly an entirely different part of his body. "Oh damn. You know I always wondered if you spit or swallow." He groans watching my tongue swirl around his middle finger.

"Wanna find out?" I quirk an eyebrow at him playfully. His eyes widen to the size of ½ dollars. I'll take that as a yes. I kiss his fingers before dropping his hand to his side. Leaning up I capture his lips and hold them prisoner as I ravage his mouth. My hands grapple with his belt. I slip it out of its loops and unbutton his slacks pushing them low on his hips. I pull away and glance down wanting to see what he has to offer. I frown realizing his shirt is in my way. I whip his tie over his head and fling it across the room. It actually lands on the paper shredder. We both flinch when the machine grinds and halts loudly. OOPS!

"Well, it was a nice tie."

"Fuck it, I'll buy you another one," I purr before I pull off a button. And …Oh! There goes another one. His bulging chest heavs underneath the polyester shirt and I literally rip it from him, sending buttons flying in every direction possible. He tears the blue fabric from his body and I toss it onto my desk.

"I guess you'll have to buy me a new shirt too, huh?" Elliot quips. I grab the collar of his beater and shred it in two pulling it off of him. I fling it to the right and make a mental note to pull it off Cap's doorknob before we leave.

"I've always wanted to do that to you." I confess watching his eyes twinkle with amusement. "Oh god!" I groan running my fingers over his well-defined chest. The man is a work of fucking art. I lean forward and sink my teeth into the thick muscle between his neck and shoulder.

"Shit, Liv." He hisses squeezing my waist. I softly kiss the boo-boo enjoying his large hands encompassing my waist. I push him back a little and slide off the desk. I drop to my knees in front of him. I toss a wicked grin up at him. He grins back stupidly and I know I've got him right where I want him. His eyes are glazed over and his fists are balled at his sides. I tug his boxers out of the way and lick my lips when his cock springs into view.

"So beautiful." I whisper caressing the head of his shaft. He twitches in my hand. I kiss the head and let my tongue flick out hungrily licking up the pre-cum that oozes from the tip.

"Liv!" His voice vibrates though his entire body. Low and dangerous. I tease the head letting my warm moist breath flow over it. "Tease." He mumbles. I slide my lips over his entire length relaxing my throat as he slides in to my mouth. "Oh shit!" He curses in amazement. I suck deeply before drawing my lips off of him.

"Don't call me a tease." I scold stroking him from base to tip.

"Give me a reason not to." He challenges resting both of his hands on my shoulders his thumbs resting and the indent of my throat. He touches me softly rubbing caressing as I draw him into my mouth again. I relax and swallow gently letting the movement pleasure him. I set a slow rhythm sucking as my hand spins firmly over him. I revel in the moans emanating from him. I normally love the control I have over a man but with Elliot it's the sheer pleasure he's getting. I suck deeply letting my tongue play hard on the underside of his shaft. I reach up and cup his sac tugging firmly as my mouth continues its manipulations on his shaft.

"Liv, I'm gonna cum." He warns. I start to pull back but I relax my throat and prepare for him to climax in my mouth. This will be a first for me. His body tense while I continue to work on him. His grip on my shoulders tightens and he calls out my name a second before his warm fluid slides down my throat. His hips jerk a few times. When I let him slip from my lips I place a soft kiss on the head and look up at him. "Come here." He smiles tugging me to stand. He lifts me up into his arms and kisses me. I moan in to his mouth loving the way his kiss is so much like his personality. Strong, dominant, and passionate. God I hope all that intensity carries over into the bedroom. He sets me down on top of John's desk. He stands in front of me and I can't feel his erection against my thigh.

"I thought after 40 it took more recovery time." I tease.

"Shut up, Liv." He smirks biting into my bottom lip. "I want you so fucking bad it hurts."

"Have me." I smile running my hand over his chest.

"Are you sure, Liv?" He asks I reach between us and stroke his length.

"Fuck me!" I whisper. Elliot smiles cupping my breasts. I reach up and untie the string, the top half of my dress falls away from my body.

"You're perfect, Liv. So perfect." He says reverently touching me. I hiss the minute his lips close around my nipple. His tongue swirls around it as he thumbs the other. Elliot bunches my dress up around my waist. I feel a sharp tug then hear fabric rip. My eyes pop open to see my thong flying over my shoulder and on to Fins case file.

"What'd my thong do to you?" I smart a little pissed he ripped a 50 dollar scrape of lace.

"It was in my damn way, woman." He growls stroking me firmly. My hand wraps around his cock and I guide him to my entrance. He rubs against me letting my arousal coat the head of him. Elliot freezes; I glance towards the door praying no one walked in.

"What?" I ask seeing the hall just as dark and empty as it was when I came back in.

"I don't have any rubbers. Tell me you have some in your purse." He pleads. What do I look like Rite-Aid?

"No, I don't. I haven't gotten laid in six months anything I did have would probably be expired." I snip feeling slightly offended.

"Relax, I wasn't insinuating anything. I was praying that you did. Liv, we can't do this without protection. I don't need a pregnant partner anymore than you want to be pregnant." He smiles trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm on the pill." I mumble biting into my bottom lip.

"How long?" He asks.

"A year. After three months it's safe. I'm clean." I explain feeling a little awkward. A condom was like a prerequisite for sex with me. But this is Elliot; he wouldn't put my health at risk. He's always protected me. "And I trust you." I smile pulling him closer to me.

"I'm clean, you know that." He says seriously.

"So we gonna do this or what, Stabler?" I ask playfully as I fondle him.

"Oh yeah, Benson. We're going to do this, several times over." He growls nipping at my bottom lip.

"Be gentle." I plead knowing this is going to hurt like hell at first. He nods and pushes into me. "EL!" I yelp feeling him slide into my waiting body.

"Fuck! You're so damn tight and warm." He groans. I'm clinging to him like a new leather glove. He thrusts softly letting me get use to the feeling of him inside of my body.

"Mmm…that feels so good!" I moan bracing myself on the desk. My hands press a million buttons on the keyboard and the computer fires up. "Deeper!" I command.

Elliot thrusts completely into me and I cry out in pure ecstasy at the feeling of being full with his body. He delicately caresses my breast moving gently with in me. This feels so damn right. I never thought I'd feel this. Feel him know what his face looks like while he worked steadily between my legs.

"Harder, EL!" I groan wanting to feel every delicious hard inch of him pounding away between my legs. He grips both my thighs for leverage. The feeling of his fingers digging possessively into the supple skin of my thighs has me thrusting into him. Elliot slams in to me once, twice and that's when it happens. He slides home growling sending my body backwards so deliciously violent that my back slams into John's pc monitor. The screen goes careening to the floor as we continue to fuck each other's brains out. The monitor crashes and explodes; the light and electrical sparks bursting from the floor fail to stop either one of our movements.

"Shit, that's not good!" Elliot groans looking down at the electrical mayhem we caused.

"Later, I'm gonna cum!" I pant feeling my orgasm build. I close my eyes and concentrate on her lips on my neck, fingers on my breast and clit and cock pumping away inside of me. I began to tingle from head to toe as I feel the pressure mount deep in my womb and in his body. Elliot strokes furiously between my legs wanting to drive me over the edge with him. My body goes ridged before I dissolve into power convulsions around him.

"LIV!" Elliot calls from some place distant. A moment later I feel a hot liquid seep into my body in several spurts as he shakes and swears between my legs. Another first for me.

I collapse back onto the desks and bump my head on Fin's stapler, which I promptly fling across the room onto Elliot's desk. I hear a crash and look to see that the stapler hit his coffee mug which shattered and spilled onto my desk shorting out my lamp. Elliot withdraws from me and drops into John's chair in front of me.

"Oh god! I never thought it would feel like that." I pant trying to stop the periodic spasms coursing through my body. Elliot grunts something incoherent as hell. I'll assume he agrees with me.

The desk line rings and Elliot reaches for it. "Stabler, SVU!" He mumbles still out of breath. "Relax, she's still here. She said her back was bothering her. I was supposed to call and cancel for her. Sorry." Elliot grins kissing my thighs. "Okay. I'll tell her. Night." He hangs up. I glare at him as he pulls his pants up.

"My back does not hurt." I protest leaning up on my elbows.

"Not yet it doesn't!" He smirks grabbing my thighs and throwing me over his shoulders causing me to squeal in surprise. My dress slides down over my upper body but I manage to catch it as he carries me up the stairs naked. "Seriously sweet ass." He whistles promptly slapping my bare ass. The slap jostles me and I loose my grip on my dress at the top of the landing.

"Rude!" I squeak slapping his ass in retaliation. I watch the tiled floor turn wood and a door close. We're in the crib.

"Remember whose ass is bare, Detective." He taunts patting my bottom. "Where'd you get the 'fuck me, heels'?" He asks as his hand caresses my calf. That is so the right name for these shoes. The first time I wear them; I get so so lucky.

"El, you gotta put me down. All the blood is rushing to my head!" I bitch. Elliot laughs and my bare breasts jiggle a little with the vibration. He flings me quickly and I bounce off one of the beds.

"Happy now?" He smirks.

"I'd be happy if you kissed me." I smile devilishly. He leans down and kisses me soundly on the mouth. "Not there." I shake my head. He dips his head and sucks my left nipple in to his mouth until I moan his name. He then switches to the right and repeats the process until I whimper under his touch.

"How's that, beautiful?" He asks kneeling between my legs. "Your legs are fucking amazing." He groans tugging on my heels.

"You're fascinated by those shoes aren't you?" I giggle.

"I've never made love to a woman in heels. It's so damn sexy." He says with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Happy, I turn you on so much. Now weren't you supposed to be giving me a kiss?" I ask. He nods and places feather light kisses on my stomach. "Lower." I purr wiggling my hips. His lips trail down and I feel him hover about my heated core but his lips land on the inside of my thigh. "Elliot!" I grumble."

"No good?" He smirks his tongue tracing soft patterns on my leg.

"I want a kiss right…" I grab his ears and pull his head right above where I want his lips. "Here!" I say thrusting myself up to meet his lips. Elliot kisses my nether lips soundly.

"Why didn't you say that before? I've been dying to go to town on you." He grins dipping his head and feasting on me. He parts my lips with his fingers as his tongue slips into me. I squeal in pleasure when his thumb toys with my clit. His tongue strokes me fully before dipping inside and swirling around.

"GOD!! I'm gonna cum, El!" I shriek surprise that I'm on the edge of my orgasm so quickly. I feel him fumbling around for a moment then grunt and his rhythm slips. "Hey hey, no slipping!" I call pulling on his ears. He sucks my clit into his mouth causing me to moan. My body trembles lightly alerting me to my pending release. Elliot says sliding up my body his fingers slipping in and replacing his tongue.

"I'm so close. Please, El." I whine pushing his shoulders. He thrusts up into me and my world spins out of control. "OH GOD!! YES! YES!" I scream my entire body shaking and clenching violently around him.

"Wasn't that better?" He asks rocking his hips against me.

"More!" I moan wrapping my legs around his waist. He slides deep and swivels his hips applying pressure to my clit. "Elliot." I sigh feeling like my entire sexual past was a joke. This is making love, sex and fucking all in one. He kisses me softly and trails hot kisses along my jaw and whispers the most explicitly sexy thing in my ear.

"Can I do that?" He asks softly panting. Stabler you could do just about anything to me right now.

"You sure you want to do that, in there, and with that?" I ask moaning.

"Oh yeah. It'll taste really good." He promises.

"What ever you want, baby." I promise digging my nails into his shoulder.

"I want you to ride me." He smiles rolling over so I'm on top. I smirk wickedly as I began rocking my hips back and forth. My breasts sway with my movement taunting him. I reach between us catching his eye as I touch myself. "Oh that's sexy." He whispers placing his hands on my hips and guiding my movements.

"I know." I smile moving faster over him. He sinks his teeth in to his bottom lip his eyes focused on my bouncing breasts. I roll my hips loving the flush that creeps over his face. He blushing while we're having sex. He is so cute. I lean down letting my nipples scrape over his chest as my lips dance over his.

"Babe, I'm gonna cum." He warns trying to slow my movements. I grab his hands and bring them up to my breasts holding them there as I riding him. "LIV!" He cries out squeezing my breasts. He thrusts up in to me and I scream his name as I cum. My orgasm rocks my body. Somewhere in my foggy mind I realize Elliot's shivering beneath me and thrusting wildly into my body. He curses my name and my body is filled with his warm thick release.

"Oh El!" I moan loving the feeling of him cumming inside of me. I collapse on top of him. Elliot rubs my back as we both try to find our next breath. Finally my breathing evens out and my heart beats in tune with his.

"That was the best I've ever had. You are so amazing." He whispers lovingly.

"I know. You feel so good inside of me." I smile against his neck feeling him resting inside of my body.

"I think inside of you is my new favorite place." He laughs slow and sexy. "I don't know about you but I could use a shower." Elliot muses his voice thick and soft in my ear.

"In a minute." I mumble loving the feeling of our warm sweat slicked bodies pressed together. "Hold me for a bit longer." I whisper snuggling down into him. I feel him harden inside of me and I wiggle my hips again.

"Oh baby, don't do that. I need a minute but Elliot jr. doesn't understand that." Hechuckles running his hand over my butt and squeezing. My body tingles at the intimate touch and the prospect of having him again. I rock back softly feeling him respond.

"Slow." I say not bothering to lift my tired body up but only rolling my hips against him. I moan sleepily at the soft friction between us. Elliot's movements are almost imperceptible but I feel them. We moan, pant, kiss and touch softly. I whisper secrets of erotic fantasies as he moves within me. And he shares his vision of us making love in his bed. I cum softly, purring his name as he whispers mine spilling himself inside of my yearning body. I close my eyes and let Elliot and my orgasms carry me over to dreamland.

**It's gettin' hot in here (so hot) **

**So take off all your clothes **

**We are gettin' so hot (uh uh uh uh) **

**We're ganna take our clothes off Oh **

**it's gettin' hot in here **

**So take off all your clothes **

**We're ganna take our clothes off Oh **

**Mix a little bit a eh, eh **

**Wit' a little bit a eh, eh **

**Let it just fall out **

**And a sprinkle a that eh, eh**

**Let it just fall out **

**I like it when you eh, eh **

**Girl, Baby make it eh, eh, oh**

**AN: Drop me some love mashuginahs. Shalom! **


	8. Dick's Big Bad Wolf

**AN: Again- THIS A LOOOOOONG Chapter. But it's good! I have much to say, but before we get to the story... A brief message of real EK if I may…for a moment. I turned my TV on last night to find SVU playing on primetime. A rerun, obviously. And it happened to be "the" rerun---the dreadful rerun of Elliot getting it on with ….K…Kathy. And for some reason I watched. Knowing full well what was going to happen. I don't fucking know why I did it. I guess that I like to torture myself.  
Well that and you do get to see Meloni's ass. But I was surprised. **

**The second time through I really analyzed it. And I was shocked to see the lack of love for Kathy. I mean, there was a hint of it when the sappy music starts and he rips his shirt off, but not enough. Let me briefly go over my observation with three VERY valid points. **

**A: He came home to see the kids and then was going to leave without even really talking to her. He didn't come to see her. KATHY was the one who asked him to stay. So he gets it on with her. He is human and he does have a dick. We all know what that means. **

**B: He doesn't stay to spoon and cuddle??? That's the tell tale sign right there ladies. Never stay with a man who doesn't cuddle after a sexual encounter like that. That's HUGE! He was vulnerable. He needed to be loved, but he didn't stay to cuddle???? If he wanted her that badly, he would have cuddled! All of those fuckers out there routing for EK- with the back up of how "HONORABLE" Elliot is. Yeah, he's so honorable he didn't even stay to CUDDLE! He just felt guilty and bad for her, because the crazy woman in the scene before it said that her husband never had sex with her after the kids were born. It was a pity fuck and she's a moron for putting up with that shit. You don't take the pussy for a second re-kindling without the bowing and the groveling. I love Elliot-- but NO! There is no fuck'n and leav'n in that situation! I mean, he does get a call to go to work, but that's after he gets dressed and is literally heading for the door. **

**Ok, CCCC: And this is huge huge! When he's interrogating the guy who shot his kids and his wife, he says to the guy ", She shot your kids. You had to shoot her. If my wife shot my kids I would have shot her." He was dead serious. May have been poor directing, but I like to think it's Elliot's inner monologue screaming "GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!" Fuck'n Dick Wolfe! Serenity now! I have not given up hope! EO to the death! That being said- let's kill the bitch!**

**Dick's Big Bad Wolf  
**

_**The Human Body. ** The Human Body is a system of components working together. Some of these components are termed vital and if one of these vital components is destroyed, damaged or removed the human body will die eventually. It is important to identify which components, when damaged, will result in death so as to be able to apply the available techniques._

"HUAH," I gasped from a deep sound sleep. The room was dark. My body was stiff, sweaty, and cold. The only stitch of clothing covering me from the world was the itchy grey blanket caught between my legs and Elliot's arm around my waste.

He stirred next to me and opened his eyes. "Bad dream?"

"Strange dream," I replied softly as I starred at his silhouette.

"Trust me. It really happened and you're still beautiful."

My eyes closed with flushed happiness. "It wasn't in conjunction to that. This is definitely strange though. I mean, I can't believe…"

"How large my penis is."

I playfully nudged him in the stomach as he smiled. "Kidding. Kidding. I was just kidding. But you are beautiful. That, I would never kid about," he whispered lightly as he kissed my hand.

"Well, you should never kid about something like that," I wryly smiled. "You're a wild animal, Elliot Stabler. How many rounds was that? Three? Four? I thought the night would never end."

"The night _was_…endless. Shit," Elliot jumped. "What the hell time is it?"

The panic shot straight to the logical part of my brain. All of the sudden I felt naked in public. We each grabbed a blanket and slowly opened the door. The sun was bright in the hallway. Too bright. And worse then light after a night of rough sex in a public place, was the sound of hurried movement muffled in the hallways.

"Fuck," Elliot whispered.

"What are we gonna do? All of my clothing is in the locker room or –"

"On the floor of the office."

"And there……..shit!"

"Okay, we gotta think." Elliot pulled at his hair and listened through the crack of the door. "We…dropped something on our clothes? Like Soda or mud? "

"Mud?"

" Okay, no. Ahhh…we got robbed!"

"How long have you been a detective?"

"A crazed man robbed us and left us for dead. Destroyed the office."

I nodded with a positive outlook as he started through the door. "Hang on! Hello, security cameras in the hallway. Elliot, we have no clothes on!"

"He raped us?"

"Both of us?"

"Or just you. He- I don't know. Okay, I got it, you stay here I'll tell Cragen I slept in."

"Okay, that's good. That's better. What about the office?"

"I'm gonna let you handle that."

"Oh, thanks!"

" I'll be back."

"Elliot-"

He pulled the blanket tight around his waste and headed down the hallway for the locker room. Several interns and ADA's walked passed him. They each stared with curiosity in their eyes. Elliot nodded and smiled as he passed each familiar face.

"Morning," he strutted. The muscles in his chest puffed with confidence.

"Peter, how are you," he nodded politely as if nothing were out of sorts.

"My partner pulled a fast one on me. Joke, I mean. Heh, Yep, she's a joker that one."

The door was inches from his grip.

"Elliot Stabler?"

Fuck.

"Melinda."

"Is that your mascot costume," she furrowed.

"Yea-? Oh, Dodge Ball."

Dodge ball! Everybody should be at the tournament or at least on their way.

"Yeah, I'm on my way to the Dodge Ball…thing. You know, can I talk to you later. I have to…get…"

Elliot didn't even finish he just turned and pushed through the locker room door.

I paced back and forth in the crib. It felt like he had left ages ago. Where the hell was he? I can't believe I'm standing like this in the middle of the NYPD 1-6 Precinct. I couldn't wait any longer. I opened the door, made sure the coast was clear, and shuffled next to the wall to peek down the hallway. "Elliot?! Elliot! " I whispered loudly.

Around the corner from my faint cry for help, Fin and Munch sat at their now neatly organized desks with a cup of coffee and a box of doughnuts. Munch flipped through the New York Times.

"How long you think we should let them wonder the hallways like that," Fin asked through a bite of doughnut.

"You'll know when the time is right," Munch replied without looking up from the article he was engorged in.

I stood next to the broom closet when Elliot passed me still adorning his blanket. "Elliot."

"Jesus," he jumped. "Some warning next time."

"Sorry. What's the deal?"

"Somebody raided my locker. God, you're hot."

"What?"

"Hot," he said pulling me close to him and kissing my neck.

"Elliot, where are my clothes?"

"Everything is gone."

He nibbled my neck to irritate me.

"Elliot, come on. The lockers?"

"Nothing. It's all gone."

"What do you mean it's gone?"

"Empty, Liv. Gone."

"But how- " and then the light bulb clicked on in my head. I pushed Elliot out of my way and marched straight into the bullpen. If Casey was involved I was going to kill her and this time it wasn't even a threat.

I rounded the corner expecting the worst, but it was spotless. I almost forgot what I was doing. I almost forgot that my tits were just a thin layer away from being exposed.

The random group of office workers chuckled and starred at me from every corner. But the two people I needed to see, sat at their desks behind newspapers.

"Mission accomplished," Fin beamed.

"You two!"

"Don't worry, young lass," Munch turned. "Dad's at the gym, along with the rest of the team. Nice outfit."

I froze in relief and embarrassment, then clicked back to the moment. "You guys are good. I hope you know these acts of practical jokery will not go unforgotten."

"Come on, Liv, we totally saved your naked ass," Fin smirked.

"Literally," Munch added.

"And did you actually think Old Boy would have made the move without a little help from his friends," Fin joked.

Elliot stepped into the room with his hands on his hips. "Excuse me, I don't do multiple partners when I work in that department and ah…the only thing crying for help last night was Munch's computer."

"Which I graciously traded with yours, Dick," Munch glanced from the rim of his glasses.

"You guys are freaks," Fin laughed. "Nice panties by the way," he smiled as he dangled what was left of my lacey underwear on his finger.

"Give me that!" I grabbed.

Elliot blinked at the clunk of plastic monitor on his desk and shuffled his way out of the hall. "That's…well, that's great. That is just what I always wanted…while doing it."

I sighed and picked up my cell phone. "Shit, it's ten o'clock. Shouldn't we have left by now? The game starts at 11:30."

"Yeah," Fin nodded throwing me a Uniform T-shirt from his desk. "We were waiting for your ass."

"Waiting for my ass? My ass. Well, Tutuola," Elliot said while dropping his blanket from around his waste. He held the corner over his crotch and strutted his blue moon over to Fin's desk. "You got a shirt for me?"

"No and get the hell outta here with your white ass. Already had to disinfect my desk. Couldn't have done that shit on your own desk. Had to use mine. Help a guy out and he fucks my desk."

"Literally," Munch adds again.

SCENE

Thirty minutes later the four of us got it together and walked into the Manhattan YMCA. The Dodge Ball Court was packed with friends, family, and colleagues from all different areas and departments. They had raffles buzzing in one corner, souvenirs with different comical pictures and sayings like…."SVU will Kill you!" "Benson vs. Eames" "Fight crime, Dodge my Balls!"…and of course, no sporting event is complete without bad hot dogs and funnel cake.

Cragen made his way towards us in his red and white uniform, fuzzy red headband, and two plates of greasy food.

"Hot dog," he asked offering me the plate.

"No thanks. I was never a fan of mystery meat."

"Your loss."

Casey gathered her team of hardcore Dodge Ball detectives to the court and gave us our pep talk.

"Alright, guys, don't forget to bend your knees and dodge the bullets. Got it? Bend and dodge. Bend and dodge. Gorone is a pussy and his team makes you guys look normal. So let's get in there and pound'em back to pre-school! Right! Now bring it in and give me the cheer."

She bent down with her hand in the center of our six-person circle. Fin was fueled with adrenaline. He roared with excitement and yelled "S!"

"s," we all muttered slightly rusty.

"What was that pansy ass shit? I said S!"

"S!"

"V!" Fin was too much. Sometimes I think the only reason he played was to do this part.

"V!"

It was especially delightful to watch George Huang jump around. I'd never seen him so out of suit before. You could tell he was enjoying the ridiculousness of it all. His soft features trying desperately to fit in with our hard exteriors. I had to secretly laugh at the whole lot of us. Even Munch seemed pleasantly phased.

"UUUUUUUUU," Fin yelled.

The crowd cheered behind us and we all repeated the U while taking a slap at each other's asses in a very serious football player manner.

When we finished there were still five minutes to start time. I walked over to Elliot, who sat by an old buddy of his in the bleachers. On my way over, Eames pushed into me. "You ready to eat my rubber, Benson?"

"I don't eat rubbers, Eames, I fuck'em. Just hope you can handle the heat."

Her face scrunched up and she shook her head with disgust. "You really are a special sick mother fucker, Detective."

Yeah, that come back was a little off, but what the hell, I work in sex crimes. Rubbers is what I do. We walked and glared at the same time. I turned away from Eames to face Elliot. The crowd opened and Kathy was standing in front of him with her back to me. She still wore the fake stomach and from where I was standing the conversation looked heated. I stopped in my tracks. The flourish of people pushed passed me and the sounds meshed together. Every now and again a voice would pop out like a bleeding cry for help. "I'm not playing these games anymore, Kathy. I told you its' over. I said, No."

Like a victim he pleaded. I knew he didn't want this. She was making things so difficult. I always identified with the victim.

"NO! Stop this. Kathy, stop!"

One "no" was enough for me to know she wasn't going to stop. Her motives were clearly laid out, and she was as stubborn minded as the rest of us. I found myself in the dream again. A dark voice of reason echoing through my mind like a book on tape.

"_There are several reasons behind killing someone and the one that always turns up time after time is revenge. Killings done for revenge are usually performed at the spur of the moment, at a time of emotional anguish, and always result in the killer being apprehended by the authorities."_

Before my instincts could take over, she slapped him in the face and walked away. Those cold jealous eyes pierced through my soul. I twitch with angry red fists. Had she said one word to me I don't think I could have contained myself. My heart stopped pounding when she finally pushed open the gym doors and disappeared.

Elliot sat in a state of shock.

"You all right?"

I could see him fighting that short fuse. "Sometimes I wish she were dea…"

"Careful what you wish for, Stabler." I wasn't sure my mind was healthy enough to handle that word coming from his mouth.

He looked up at me with a hinge of light in his eye. "You're right. And you know, I'm good. I am a new man. That is not an issue in my life- anymore. Don't worry about me, Liv. You go. Have fun. Do it for me. Do us proud."

I nodded wishing that I could kiss him. The whistle sounded in the background.

"Go, Liv. Don't think about me."

Right, like I could do that. Not thinking about him was like asking me to stop the inhalation of air to my lungs. But I sucked it up and hit the court.

Major Case was going down. There were three rounds of Dodge Ball. The first round flew by when Robert Gorone and Mike Logan took out the best players of our team with one ball and a fancy move.

I chucked my wristband at the floor and sat calmly. I needed to get my head in the game. Casey, on the other hand, was pissed.

"That's gotta be against some rule, Ref! What the heck!? I was hit from behind by a fly away! And he cussed! That's a penalty at best!"

"What's the matter, Novak? Sore loser syndrome," Mike Logan poked.

"YOU…"

"Whoa, Casey sit," Munch intervened. "Down girl."

Let's just skip this round and say that we lost due to distractions.

Round two.

The crowd whistled and hollered our names. Major Case was clearly more popular than us, but I still say that's because Mike Logan was a hunk of a man and the lady cops always seemed to cheer louder when he bent over.

We started off on the right foot. Fin and Casey took out Robert Gorone and Megan Wheeler within the first ten seconds. But that didn't stop Robert from participating. He sat on the sidelines calling out moves like a back seat driver.

"Eames, Eames, Captains in the target zone. Up! Down! NO! Use your left hook!"

The next ball she caught went straight into Robert's face. I had to laugh.

"Benson, heads up," Munch jumped to catch the ball headed for my side. He saved me from the hit but he dropped it and headed for the bench.

"Boney's been balled," Mike yelled.

And that's all we needed to hear. In a matter of minutes the balls went flying and before I could blink an eye it was down to two.

"Just you and me baby," Eames sneered. Who'd of thought such a sweet looking woman could be so hostile.

I could hear Elliot and Trevor Langon yelling and causing a ruckus from their seats. They had a bet on this match.

"Kick her ass, Olivia," Elliot yelled.

"What's in it for me," I mocked.

"A hot date!"

The crowd laughed and whistled. I turned a bright shade of pink. Yes, even my dark skin could find a rosy hue in times like these.

"Is that suppose to motivate me," I yelled back.

"Owww," the crowd moaned.

"Shot down again, Stabler," hollered an old friend of ours from CSU.

"Hey, Benson, you want to leave your pansy ass personal life outside? It's interrupting my ass kick'n contest."

"I'm glad we're all on the same page, cause you're going down, Eames. Let's do this!"

The ref blew his whistle and the game began. Alex was small but she was ferocious. Her sprightly legs moved effortlessly towards the center of the court and she had the ball before I could even think about moving my dangerously long legs. Quite frankly, she'd have to have a pretty bad aim to miss me. I was the tallest woman in the league, well, other then the one woman in the Brooklyn precinct who they called the Beast of Brooklyn. Therefore, the odds were on her side.

Alex flailed about the court throwing one fake out after another, while Robert shouted from the sidelines", That's it Eames fake her out! Take her down! Rip her a new cell! Throw her a lock down! SHOW HER HOW WE TAKE OUT DICK!"

"ROBERT! Too much," Alex yelled through her concentration.

"SORRY!"

With that she whaled the ball at me. The red rubber bounced off of my arms and the crowd gasped to a hush. I caught the supportive fist coming from Elliot's arm and dove to the floor.

"And it's a save! Major Case is OUT," cried the ref. "Round two goes to SVU!"

My team was on me like hot bacon. Elliot pushed through the crowd and before I knew what was happening he and Fin had me lifted in the air.

Mike Logan even threw me a high five. "Nice dive, Detective. Don't get too cocky, we're gonna get you in the third round."

I laughed with anticipation. Three was my lucky number.

Little did I know I was about to skip round three and go straight to the final round.

The ref called a half time and everyone commenced to the sidelines with food and beverages.

"I knew we kept her around for a reason," Fin smiled.

"Thanks Fin. Excuse me, I need to use the ladies room," I nodded in a half daze. "Casey, you coming."

She was in a deep conversation with Munch and I ignored her lack of reply in hopes she would open her eyes to something better than a hot ADA.

I headed for the women's locker room. All was quiet. I washed my hands and went to the locker I was using to hold my purse and pulled out a piece of gum. My badge lay next to my loaded gun. It's shape formed into Kathy's face. Elliot's voice flickered in my mind "Sometimes I wish she were…wish she were…were." Dead. Say it. Say it, Olivia. Sometimes you wish she were dead. NO, stop it.

O'Mally's victim's cold dead bodies appeared in my imagination. This time they all looked like Kathy. No, Olivia, push that out of your mind. Every now and again my nightmares effected reality. The cuts and bruises. All of the death and gore that I'd allowed myself to desensitize to, came washing through my mind like a wave.

And then the voice… "_How do you kill someone? Strangulation, shot to the heart, knife to the back, poison, explosives, car accident, fire, candlestick. Before you can come to an agreement of hypothetical situations, you the assassin have to ask yourself, are the consequences worth the taking of a life?"_

I held the gun in my hand….and allowed myself to envision the action. One bullet was all it would take. Kathy's face exploded in my head like a fat tomato.

I stopped the thought. This was not healthy. I checked the safety, placed it in the back of my locker, and quickly locked the door.

"Wooo, it's just the adrenaline," I said out loud.

I turned to leave and then I felt it.

_Click_

The hand rested on my shoulder.

"Cindycracker, I gotta message from my boss."

Seamus stood behind me with the gun nestled to my temple.

"Seamus, don't be stupid. You're in a building full of cops. The sound of that gun will have you arrested before you can get your foot on fresh pavement."

"Heh, Heh, Heh, that's why I brought this sexy thing," he growled pulling a silencer from his pocket.

Shit. This is why you always "go" with a buddy.

Seamus clicked the silencer onto the end of his gun and smiled as he lightly traced my cheek. "It's a shame really. Putting a hole in such a pretty little head like yours."

My mind was blank. I felt his finger pulling the trigger, then…

_Boom_

The locker room door opened. "Olivia, I know you're in here. Show yourself."

Kathy's voice. Shaky and desperate.

Seamus whispered in my ear. "Make it quick or I'll kill everyone you know."

He ducked behind a row of lockers. "I'm watching you, Cindycracker."

"Kathy?"

Kathy rounded the corner with a gun in her hand. "Don't even talk to me. Stay where you are."

She pointed the tiny pistol at my body. Two death threats in one day. I must have really pissed somebody off. Course, I was still breathing, so I can't blame it all on bad Karma.

"Kathy, put the gun down."

"Shut up. I'm tired of you. I had a plan! And you fucked it up. Again!"

She talked while throwing her arms about. The pistol waved in the air. Then she bounced it off of her belly. "You see this? Do you see what you brought me to do?"

"Kathy, I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're perfect presence has reduced me to a shell of a woman. I've gone through a thousand desperate measures to make him forget about you! I thought he would want to spend more time at home if I gave him every reason to. I exercised and sexualized everything in the house. I went to stripper classes and kick boxing classes and make over classes. I bought sex toys and candles and I cleaned every fucking inch of the house, and do you know what he'd say to me after we fucked. 'Olivia said the funniest thing today. Olivia shops at Bloomingdales. Olivia works all the time and she still gets a manicure. You should ask Olivia how she stays in shape.' Olivia this! Olivia that! I could just rip your fucking hair out thinking about it."

"Kathy, I'm sorry for you. I am-"

"SHUT UP! This is my monologue. I worked hard to change myself for that man. I thought that maybe if I made him jealous. Maybe that would keep him from leaving me all of the time. So I cheated on him. And when that didn't work I kicked him out of the house. I even thought, at one point, that maybe I could be happy without him. I started to see a man. Steven. We dated on a regular basis and we got pregnant, but the more I stayed with him the more I knew I couldn't go through with it. So I got rid of it."

She walked around me like a shark hunting its' prey.

"Yes, Olivia, I aborted the baby. Doesn't that make your rapist baby heart want to bleed?"

"That's real hypocritical of you Miss Church goer."

"My soul was forgiven. Your's will always remain dirty. Like your father's and your whore mother's."

"Shut up."

"Don't get snappy, Detective. I have the gun now. When Steven and I went our separate ways, I slowly made a come back into Elliot's life. I didn't need a baby at first. You made it too easy for me. You got rid of Dani and you put up your walls. All I had to do was get him in bed one time."

"So if you didn't want a baby and the ball was in your court, then why are you pretending to be pregnant now? Why not just be with him?"

She laughed and stroked the gun. "You think you know him so well, don't you. Elliot's stubborn. He needs a good reason to do something twice. And, let's face it, is a sucker for kids. Always has been. Always will be. And that's why he'll never be with you. You're not the motherly type."

"Fuck you."

"Oh, does that hurt your feelings? Now you know how it feels. It sucks not being able to live up to another women's standards, doesn't Olivia? You know, the funny thing is, I actually couldn't get pregnant now, even if I wanted to. This was just a ploy to bring him home, but you had to go fuck that all up, so now I'm gonna fuck you up."

"You need help. Serious help. This is delusional."

She was closer to me than I cared to have her, the gun waving in my face. "You're right, I do need help. And that's why I'm getting rid of you."

"Kathy, you're not a killer. Let's think about this."

She fired the gun, but missed terribly. "Oo! Wow! That felt good. I've never done that before," she giggled.

"Haau," I gulped. "Um, okay, listen, I can talk to Elliot if you just give me the chance."

"And what are you gonna tell him? That he has to love me!"

"You know, I think if you can prove that the baby is his, he may forgive you."

"Well, that's not possible now is it." She got close to me this time and pulled the trigger back.

"No, No, don't! Stop. Listen. All you have to do is give him a DNA test. I can get that for you. A forged one. A fake one. And then once he comes back home you can go on with whatever plan you were plotting. All I have to do is call up the lab and tell them it's for an undercover job. It's that simple. All it takes is one phone call. And I'll never interferer again. I'll even move. I'll transfer to the farthest city on the map."

I could see Kathy's eyes brighten to the idea and I carefully lifted my keys to the locker. "I'm just gonna get my phone and we'll make the call. Okay?"

She nodded and licked her lips. "O..Okay. But you have to promise you'll leave."

"I swear on my mother's grave."

Slowly I reached for the phone and slid my gun closer to my hand. The cold metal felt good under my sweaty palm. And then I heard the voice again…

_" **Assuming the Correct Mentality. ** Once the, would be killer, decides to kill a target person he or she would have to guarantee a solid decision on what he…she is going to do. To illustrate this fact consider killing someone in the self defense scenario; Would you stand still hoping that the attacker would spare you or would you fight for your life till the end? If you have an open chance to kill your intended target you should do so without hesitation."_

Kathy dropped the pistol to her side as I flipped open my phone. I took my chance. One swift movement and I had my gun at Kathy's face. "Drop your weapon."

"You bitch!"

"Drop the gun, NOW!"

The pistol clanked to the floor and she backed away from my aim.

Just as I was about to cuff her all hell broke loose.

Seamus stepped in from behind the lockers. "All right ladies, enough play time. There's only one way to do a man's job and I'm gonna give you the lesson right now."

His hand aimed. I was caught in the middle. I turned to stop him, but Kathy grabbed my hands and fought to wrestle my gun away.

"Kathy, stop it!"

"Fuck you! Give me the gun!"

Seamus waved his gun around as I pushed Kathy in front of me. He couldn't get a clear shot and stepped near us. "Ladies, ladies, if you want a fight you gotta do it with your clothes off. Now hold still before I have to shoot the both of you's."

"Shut up," We both yelled as I did my best to fend Kathy's reckless hands away from me.

In the mess of it all I managed to elbow Seamus in the eye. He doubled over and dropped his gun. The silencer bounced off of the tip and the gun released a loud bullet into the metal lockers.

"You fuck'n bitch," Seamus yelled. He fell to his knees and reached under the sinks for his gun. Blinded in one eye made him move like a one armed monkey.

Before I could take out Kathy, a pose of cops pushed opened the door. We briefly froze as Seamus ducked behind the lockers again.

Munch and Fin saw my aim mixed with Kathy's hysterical tugs and immediately grabbed at our hands. Kathy was relentless. She held onto my hands and screamed with rage.

"Get off of me! This is not what I wanted!"

Seamus shuffled towards the door.

"Fin, behind me."

"What? Olivia, let go of the gun."

"I can't. Fin, behind the lockers! He's behind the lockers!"

"Who? What?"

"GIVE ME THE GUN," Kathy screamed.

"Let go of my hands!"

"Seamus," Munch yelled, releasing my hand and heading towards Seamus, who was making his way to the exit as if he were a part of the crowd.

"Fuck." Seamus jumped and took one quick shot before the mass of police took him down.

And then my finger hit the squeeze of the trigger.

_Boom, Boom_

_Silence_

It all happened so fast. The pulling, the yelling, the rush. I felt one final moment of calm before the sound exploded between us.

It was like a slow motion replay.

_Boom, Boom_

_Silence_

Stop. Pause in your thoughts. I've gotta take a minute to think about what just happened here. You see, because, this is the part of the crime that gets a little distorted, like an out of body experience. I felt that gun go off in my hand and the soul that inhabited my warm body rose above the quickly growing mass of people.

Of course, that would have made sense if the gun were pointed at me, but it wasn't. Kathy's last jealous stare froze in shock, along with the rest of us.

And my hands…my cold bloodied hands still clutched the black metal that brought on her finale breath. My normally acute reflexes squeezed that trigger. Or did they?

For all I know my finger was forced by the eager fists surrounding it. One thing was for sure, the bullet from my gun sailed straight through the prosthetic bulge in front of me, causing a tuft of fake belly debris to explode from the tiny hole in which was produced.

Had that fluff been just three quarters of an inch thicker, Kathy may have survived the blow.

But there she stood gapping and gasping and slowly falling, falling to the gum ridden concrete floor.

As I watched her brittle body rise and fall for the last time, I couldn't help but stand in horrific shock. My body like hers stayed still and warm. Her open filmy eyes turned into a deadly glass like marble. Time stopped and then…

"Holy shit," Fin breathed.

Their voices meshed as one. I stood my ground and watched them frantically resuscitate and apply pressure.

"Check her pulse."

"She's bleeding."

"Liv?"

"Not breathing."

"Casey, hand me your towel."

_Fade in_

_Fade out_

My mind spun like a carousel of images and thoughts. It was as though I became a textbook of criminal information. I wanted so desperately to stop it, but the voice was abundantly nerving.

_"The art of assassination has been studied since the ancient ages for the purpose of killing somebody for profit, revenge, justice, self defense or even pleasure. It is very difficult to kill a person effectively. To know that you've done it the right way you must first indicate whether or not your target is in deed dead."_

"Kathy!"

Elliot was hanging over her body breathing into her mouth. It was a sad picture of a fairytale gone wrong. The pregnant façade was pulled away and the blood poured from her insides. Her prince by her side. Too conflicted to kiss her awake and too ashamed not to try.

"Elliot, she's gone. Elliot, stop. It's too late, she gone, man."

Fin and Munch pulled him away and his eyes slowly rose from the floor to my frozen state of still shock.

The uniformed officers took the gun from my strong grip and cuffed me.

"Where are you taking her," Elliot yelled. "What the hell just happened? Olivia? Olivia!"

Munch and Fin held him back as I was escorted off the premises and taken into custody.

**AN: AHHh... that was so refreshing to write. And to be able to write it after I saw that Sex episode makes me feel guiltless. I think if Dick Wolf doesn't get rid of our big bad problem I may cry... booo... You feel bad for the lamp. Don't feel bad for the lamp. It's just a lamp. --Who remembers that commercial? Somebody better know what I ramble about. It's never as random as it seems.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry guys this is not an update. And I would normally NEVER use this for a blog…But I really need your help and I think you all will be the first to jump on board.**

**I've been working on a Ellen Degeneres / Mariska Hargitay Animation sketch and I need people to post comments on it, in order for the show to pick it up.**

**It's only two minutes long, so stop by and view it- it's cute and funny. It's all made from balloons.**

**It's on you tube (dot) com search for my pen name "Weisselle" and the title of the sketch is "Emmy Schmemmy! Who needs an Emmy!"**

**If stupid you tube isn't bringing up the video try this link. www(dot)youtube(dot)com/profile ? user (equal sign) weisselle**

**TAKE OUT THE SPACES  
**

**OK, now that I'm done with the project and finished with my student's auditions (work crap) I can now update my stories.**

**I promise an update will be up in the next day or so. And Sam, I super promise to finish reading your story. You don't know how badly I'm itching to sit and read fanfic. And I ended at such a "Need to Know more" Part with yours. AHHH- It's crazy!!! But what can I say, my week has been NUTS!!!!**

**Thanks you all and I promise to never ever do this again. Smite me if you shall! But If you love Mariska I think you'll enjoy it. Also, she's gonna be on Ellen this Friday. Watch! Hopefully I will be too. If I get on, I'll say hi to you from TV!**

**Kisses**

**Scarlett**

**POV** Olivia Benson

Before I can tell you the final moments of my trials and tribulations there is one small thing that you need to do. Pull up a new browser, go to You Tube, Search for Weisselle, and watch my very first balloonimation episode. Elliot did! Ok, he didn't, but that was only because his computer monitor was broken. Your's is obviously in tacked. Otherwise you wouldn't **jalkweoirwehoiarheoiruwoeiruewoi **be able **lkdjflakjdflkjadfjlsdfjlsdkfj **to read **lakdjflkdsjflskdjflksdjflksjdlf** a damn word **ahdkfadlsjflkadjflkadsjflkdjfklsd ** I was saying.

I have to go. This is my last phone call from my stinking jail cell and the reception is terrible. Remind me to complain if I ever make it out of here alive.

Click

Dial tone

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

**  
**


	10. The Shake of the Speare

**AN: yeay - I real update!!! I am sooo sorry. The start of school and being cast in a show has over taken my life! AHHH! I've been dieing to update. You guys are so funny. I love the replies to my three sentence paragraph! Anyway- this chapter is a little B-day present for my girl down under Laura. Hope I didn't miss it. And I think my fanfic alert thingy is broken becasue I'm not getting anybodies updates. WTF! Is anybody else experiencing this???? I say fuck alot too. I hope I haven't offended anyone. I reread the last chapter to get into this one- yeah I say fuck a fuck'n lot. It's like that Sponge Bob episode where he and Patrick learn a swear word and a dolphin sounds everytime they say it. LOL- that's one of my favorite eppy's. Gotta love the Bob! Ok I'm gonan see how many of you know your Shakespeare with this chapter. The situation felt dramatic, so I had to add some William to the mix. Ok read!**

**The Shake of the Speare**

Of course, I wasn't really put in a cell or taken to jail. I may have insinuated that part of the story a bit for dramatic effect. In retrospect I didn't really know where I was. Everything was numb: the voices around me, the pulse in my veins, the center of my being.

I was immediately asked for my side of the story, but it was jumbled.

"I don't know. She followed me in there. I don't know."

And then when I was asked why I had shot the gun I could barely mutter a reply.

"I…I …it was an accident. It …I did it, but I …I don't know. It was an accident."

I think the cop that drove me to the nearest station was as shocked as I was. Shocked in a different way. And I'm sure he wasn't the only one, because the one thing that I could think about in these lost moments of the after shock, was Elliot's deadened face starring up at me with question and disdain. It replayed ad nauseam in my mind.

"Elliot, I didn't…she was…there was a gun. I didn't do it."

The cop in the front seat looked back at me. "Olivia?"

I starred at the gray clouds through the car window sniffling and rationalizing. I tried desperately to slow the images in my brain to a normal pace. It was uncontrollable the guilt, and the horror. I lifted my hand to wipe my nose, but…. her blood. Her blood was on my hands. Tears covered my vision with spots of washy colors. Suddenly, I was sobbing.

"Olivia, hey, hey, use a tissue."

The man handed me a Kleenex and I looked at him for the first time. He knew me, but his face was like any other.

"You gonna be okay?"

No. I wasn't going to be okay, I just killed my …gosh, I didn't even know what to call him….partner…lover…best friend. I just killed his wife. I just killed his children's mother. The four things he holds dearest to his heart. I just killed their only mother.

I ignored the officer in the front seat and turned my face away. My guilty heart had just eaten my last shred of human feeling. I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to be something else. Someone else.

When the car stopped I was taken into the station and put in my own little room. Nobody wanted to treat me like a murderer, but it was standard procedure and well, we all know how hard it is to be a cop under the gamut.

If they were lenient the system was corrupt. If they were hard on me and I ended up in jail- the system was corrupt. Even if I get out of this on top following every rule in the book, the media would still find ways to turn me into a monster; inevitably making the system…you guessed it, corrupt.

Where was _my_ hero when I needed him? Huh…hero. What an archaic thought. Archaic but dually needed at a lonely desperate time like this. I held my head in my hand and softly spoke as if he were next to me. In spirit, Elliot, would always be next to me.

"Ah me, Elliot…how can I ever look at your honorable face again? I'm unbelievably doomed to live without you."

In my thoughts he would touch my hair and kiss the top of my head. "Liv, weep no more. I found the truth. You're going home. With me."

"I am?"

The door to the dark gray room would open and a bright light would shine in on our faces.

"Come, my Olivia, be whole again."

He would lift me off of the chair and take me out of the room where a white sedan would be sitting outside of the door with its' high beams on.

Beep Beep

Our friends and colleagues would all be there, cheering for our love to shine. The crowd would applaud and a crescendo of horns would sound into our cheesy parting theme music.

_**And then a hero comes along**_

_**With the strength to carry on**_

_**And you cast your fears aside**_

_**And you know you can survive**_

We'd go together like a ramma lamma lamma a ding a de ding-gah dong. The car engine would rev and as we leaned in for the final kiss our camera of life would zoom out in a perfect heart…then darkness.

I sat alone in that room for what felt like an hour, which is by far the worst thing to have to do after almost going into a mental break down. It's no wonder my thoughts were creating fanciful scenarios.

As I waited the incident was starting to come into focus. I questioned every detail and even though it was technically self-defense the fact of the matter is, I was the only one with a gun in my hand, and I could have prevented the blast had I just loosened my fingers. She was pressing so hard against my fists. She wouldn't let go. Both Fin and Munch were pulling at my arms the moment it went off. I don't remember my finger being pushed, but I don't recall purposefully pulling the trigger either.

If she would have just let go of my hands. My dirty blood stained hands. I touched the now brown stains on the back of my fist and rubbed at my skin.

"Come on, get out. Come off. Out! Out damned spot."

I rubbed and I wrung at the stain, and the crust of it, flaked off leaving a tint of brown. It was maddening. The silence of the room and the mess on my body made me twist and turn from the inside out. I got up and slammed on the mirrored window.

"Hello?! I need to go to the bathroom. Please! Somebody, please come in here and talk to me. HELLO!"

The door was locked. I banged on the mirror with my bloodied fists again. "I think I'm going to be sick. Please, open the door! Please!"

Click

"Olivia."

Julia Millfield was standing in the doorway.

"Please, I…I need to wash this off of me," I panted shaking my hands. The saliva in my mouth watered with vomitus signs. "I'm gonna be sick. I'm…it's all over me…it's-"

"Come on. I'll take you to-"

And then it happened. I heaved next to the table and more embarrassed unprofessionalism was added to my list.

George Huang was standing in the hallway, still in his uniform. He followed Agent Julia Millfield and myself into the bathroom. After a second to collect my stomach and regain the color in my cheeks George handed me a pill.

"What's this?"

"It will calm you. You're going through an incredible amount of stress. Just take it."

"Where's Elliot? How is he…"

"He's fine. You need to worry about yourself right now. They have a lot of questions for you."

George stopped and slightly nodded his head towards Julia who was standing with her back towards us.

He slightly whispered to me. "Liv, every higher up in the city is here. You need to stay as stable as you can. I know whatever happened in there wasn't who you are. Shake this off and get control of the situation. I believe in you."

I whispered through tears and a faint sigh for help. "George, I need to see Elliot."

"I know you do, but not now. We need you to stay strong and go clear your name. And by we I mean, Elliot."

I nodded and forced the tears back. I'd never felt the need to be hugged or even touch so strongly before in my life. The feeling of isolation was encompassing. I turned to leave then stopped. Before George knew what was happening I grabbed him and clung to his neck. "Thank you. Please tell Elliot I'm sorry."

"We're all behind you on this, Liv. Even Elliot," he whispered.

Julia cleared her throat and waved for me to come with her. "Come on Benson, this isn't social hour."

For the next two hours I was interrogated by several of my bosses including the commissioner.

"So Kathy Stabler had a gun?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me what it looked like?"

"Small. It was a pistol. A handgun. Had a white handle."

"Ms. Benson, were you aware of your actions when you pressed that trigger?"

I blinked in thought. I wasn't sure, so I guess…

"Answer the question Olivia."

"No."

"Did Detective Tutuola have anything to do with the shot?"

"What? …No."

"You hesitated, why?"

"I don't know."

"Ms. Benson, why didn't you drop the firearm when Detectives Munch and Tutuola entered the scene?"

"I couldn't."

"You couldn't or you wouldn't."

"I…Kathy was holding my hands tightly. I couldn't drop the gun."

"So you shot her?"

"No! The trigger went off when my arms were pulled. Fin was trying to break Kathy's grip and then Munch pulled on my arm and then I don't know what happened. The trigger just went off."

"It's funny how the memory loses information when it's guilty of something. Olivia, did you shoot your partner's Wife!"

"NO, I didn't!"

"Were you jealous?"

"No."

"Come on detective, we know how close you and Detective Stabler are. You two have been covering for each other for a long time. You're history together is record breaking. Unheard of, even. You work alone. You work long nights. You openly admit to taking your relationship too far. You're tight. We even have the interview to prove it."

"So what's your point?"

"My point is your partnership has reached it's limits. You've stood next to this man more often than his wife did and you're telling me that a single woman like yourself has never thought about this relationship in a sexual way?"

"I don't have to answer that."

"So you have."

"You're manipulating me. That's not what I said."

"Cut the crap, Benson. You pulled that gun on her because you were in love with her husband. That's the only reason, and you feel guilty, because you are guilty."

"My only intention for pulling my gun on her was for self-defense. That's my statement. Take it or leave it. I want Kathy's gun to be found. It's there. Find it. And I'm not saying another word until the autopsy is done."

"Self-defense, huh. Well, as of this moment, you have no evidence or witnesses to back that up."

"Do you're job and I will."

"Why was Seamus Albright in that locker room?"

"I did an undercover job and put his boss in jail for life. He was there—wait a minute—he was there. Seamus knows what happened. Why haven't you questioned him? Why are-"

"Shush! I love that you think I'm inadequate about my job."

"Seamus was there the whole time. If he said anything different from what I'm telling you then he's LYING!"

"And that may very well be, but until he stops lying, you've got no strong witnesses Ms. Benson, so tell me, why he was there?"

I was getting heated with each new bit of information. And I was tired of cooperating. "I don't know why he was there. Why don't you ask him?"

"Did you ask him to meet you there?"

"No. What is this all about?"

"Seamus told us that you hired him to kill Kathy. Is this true?"

"Absolutely not! He was there to kill me!"

"Seamus says that during your investigation on the O'Mally case that you slipped him your card and made a deal with him."

The commissioner handed me the card in an evidence bag.

"So he had my card. He could have gotten that from anyone or anything at the Precinct. I can't believe you're siding with a criminal!"

"I'm not siding with anyone. I just want the truth."

"How long have I worked for this task force? Eight years? Maybe a little longer. I put my life on the line every day for women like Kathy. I bust my ass to lock scum like Seamus behind bars. I cover the system's flaws and stick to the rules, even when the rules are wrong. I represent every thing that you could ever ask for in a good cop and you're going to sit there and tell me that you believe that line of bullshit because he had my card in his pocket. So does half of Manhattan!!! It's public information! Show me some hard evidence Commissioner! If I paid him, where's the money? Where's the meeting spot? Get me the phone records. Why in god's name would I plan this?! Do you think I'm crazy?"

"You were acting like it a few hours ago. Why don't you tell me?"

"The only thing crazy in this room is the conversation. I'm finished. I plead not guilty and I want to see every bit of evidence that comes through that door."

"You're confession isn't enough for me to drop charges."

"I'm aware of the law, thanks."

The commissioner cleared his throat and loosened his necktie. I could tell he was ready to spit in my face if I pushed one more of his buttons. But he held it back, because he knew I was right. He just wanted an easy answer. The press was going to be all over this as soon as it leaked. And it would, eventually. After a moment, he left the table and headed for the door. "Normally, I would have you spend the night in lock down, but I see no harm in putting you on a house arrest until further evidence is brought to the table."

"Thank you. When can I leave?"

SCENE

I was escorted to my apartment and given a very unattractive silver ankle bracelet. It did nothing for my figure and I'm sure none of my cute shoes would match, but it was better than prison.

When we reached the building Casey was sitting on my stoop with my belongings and a bag of hot Chinese food.

"I thought you could use a home cooked meal."

"Thanks," I replied weakly.

"Clive, I got her from here," Casey nodded to the officer.

We went up to my place and Casey did her best to make light of the situation. She insured me that everyone was working his or her asses off and Melinda was slicing open Kathy as we spoke.

I wanted to listen to her details, but my mind was still hung up on Elliot.

"Liv, Elliot is upset, but I think it's more out of confusion than anything else."

"Yeah."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"…..No. I think I need to be alone."

"Okay. I can go home."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I understand. You call me if you need anything. And I mean anything."

"Thanks, Case."

She grabbed her things and opened the door. Elliot was standing in the hallway.

"Elliot."

He nodded to Casey and she kind of stood in the middle of us for a brief awkward second.

"I'm gonna go. You two….call me if you…well, you know. Bye."

I stood with the door open in silence and anticipation. He shuffled in the hall and then walked into my apartment. His eyes moving everywhere to dodge my apologetic glare.

"Elliot….I-"

"Don't. Don't apologize."

The silence was like a bear in the room. He sat on my couch and miserably looked at the floor. I had no idea what say or do. I sat on the other end and watched him.

"Elliot I didn't do it-"

"Don't. I know what happened. I was behind the mirror."

"Oh…"

"Olivia, what were you thinking?"

"Elliot, she had a gun. I was only trying to cuff her. Seamus got in the middle of us. It was all so quick! I didn't mean to-"

I pleaded with him but he still hadn't looked up at me. I could feel his anger.

"You're a cop Olivia, you don't accidentally shoot a gun."

"In a perfect world you're right, but it happened. Why are you here? If you don't want to believe me, then why are you here?"

He let out a huge sigh of pain and held onto the silence before softly speaking.

"She was lying to me about everything. The whole time."

He rubbed his face then looked out the window next to my couch.

"Yeah…"

"I can't live knowing that the people around me are lying. I've down it for too long."

"Elliot, I'm not lying."

He looked up at me for the first time. "I gave her that gun. The gun you described when they were questioning you."

"I know. I was there when you bought it."

"Yeah, that's why I'm having a hard time believing you."

His eye were hard and cold. He didn't blink once. It was as though he was prying the threads right out of my soul.

"Elliot…why would I lie…you can't think that I would make that up."

"Olivia, there's no gun. We've searched every inch of that locker room."

"Well search again! It's there. Elliot, I would have never pulled a gun on Kathy had she not given me every reason to. Why won't you believe that?"

"Huh…," lightly he got up from the couch and paced in the room. "I don't know what to believe anymore. I've been lied to my whole married life. Kathy lied to me for twenty-five years."

"Well I'm not Kathy," I blarred.

He didn't seemed phased. He just kept on going with his thoughts.

"She trapped me, Liv. She planned every child that we ever had without me. She cheated on me. She made me believe I was being a bad husband and then when I came back to her, she forced me to sleep on the couch. Now I find out it was because she didn't want me touching her prosthetic stomach! This is like a frigg'n Jerry Springer special. And I stupidly allowed her to use me. My whole life has been based on lies."

I watched his face unravel with pained realization.

I touched his arm and he stopped pacing. "Not your whole life. You're whole life has not been a lie," I whispered. "You have four beautiful children that absolutely love and adore you. You have a good heart. A loyal heart. Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. We all have our flaws, but those flaws aren't lies."

He stopped and turned to face me. I lightly smiled in hopes that he would warm up. "How can I trust you? Even if I did believe your statement how am I to know you're not going to do the same thing to me?"

I got close to him and looked dead in his eyes. "You wouldn't be here right now if you didn't trust me. Elliot, take a look at your relationship with Kathy and tell me the first time you remember her lying to you."

His eyes traced my face and he swallowed hard. "Too many to know."

I took a step closer to him praying that my honest plane words would pierce through his grief. "Now tell me the last time I lied to you."

His breathing became labored and tears filled his eyes as he pulled away from me.

"Elliot, tell me! Tell me, when have I ever been dishonest with you?" My eyes followed his lead and swelled with tears. "Tell me!"

"I can't. I...why are you so...different? It's too good to be true. It's not right." He turned to leave and I stopped him.

"No. Don't. Don't go. Don't say that. I hate myself for this. I do...and I don't know how to fix this except to prove to you that I'm not guilty. And I am. I am oh please see that I am."

He hesitantly pulled me into his arms.

I gasped at his touch. We both took in deep sobs and held each other tightly. "Elliot, I don't know how that gun went off, but if there was a way I could have stopped it I would have. I would have stepped in front of it before I would have let that bullet purposely hit her."

"I know, shhhh, it's okay. I know."

He held onto my face and kissed me lightly. Our tears melted together and I felt him shed a layer of doubt.

"Look at us," I sobbed through a weak smile. "We're a mess."

"What better way is there to be?"

We held each other for a long time. I almost fell asleep in his arms. My swollen eyes closed and he kissed me one last time.

"I have to go home. I haven't told my kids yet."

"What are you gonna tell them?"

"I don't know."

**AN: Ok I know this is suppose to be a comedy, but Olivia being convicted...that's not funny fools! So take my sap for all it's worth and encourage me to update a more humorous chapter. Otherwise I may keep you in the...dark..brew hahahahahhah! ALL righty I'm being completely silly now! Write me hoes!**


	11. Oh Shit!

**AN: This chapter may be one of my favorites yet. At least the beginning. I laughed hystarically through this whole part just thinking about it. And I'm gonna give a special shout out to Nicole for bringing up certain "objects". For without that hint of an idea- I never would have came up with the insanity at the beginning of this chapter! I just apologize now for anyone who has potty conversation issues. If you do, this chapter - is not for you. Enjoy!**

**Oh shit!**

"So Seamus, explain to me again what Olivia asked you do?"

Detective Goren stood in the middle of the women's locker room with Detective Alex Eames and Seamus Albright leaning on a locker. His arms were tightly crossed and his face gave off a wrinkled expression.

Seamus nervously looked at the two detectives, unsure about why they had brought him to the scene of the crime. "Look…ah…detectives, haven't we already been through this. I told yeah, I was told to wait behind the lockers and when Olivia gave the signal I was to shoot."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Goren waved. "but help me paint this picture, if you will. So I'll be Olivia. Eames, you be Kathy."

Goren grabbed Alex's hands and nodded for Seamus to get behind him. His eyes were wide with excitement. "You go to your place."

"My place?"

"Yeah, the spot where Ms. Benson told you to hide out."

"Oh…Okay."

Seamus was a small guy, but a bit of an oaf. If I had to describe him I'd say he was the oafy short guy. He awkwardly cracked his neck and waddled over to the lockers. Goren turned to watch him disappear behind the metal cabinets.

"Okay, Seamus, you're doing good. Now what happened?"

Seamus spoke from behind the lockers. "Um...I waited for the signal."

"And…"

"They were fighting and I got the okay and I shot her."

Gore dropped Alex's arms and walked over to him. "But you missed right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I missed. "

"So you were here when you shot the gun?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm…that's interesting because the bullet hole is way over around the corner. I mean, unless you have some kind of strange bullets, I can't seem to imagine that being possible."

"Well, maybe I was over here more." Seamus walked closer to where he was and nodded. "Yeah, I was here."

Eames was ferociously writing in her notebook as she walked slowly around the two of them like a shark with a pen. She stopped and looked Seamus in the eye. "Are you sure you were there?"

A bead of sweat dripped from Seamus' forehead and he anxiously wiped it away. "Sure of it."

Goren, who was standing in front of the locker where Kathy's bullet hole hit, stepped away and backed up to the other side of the room. "You know, or could you have been here? See because there's a hole in this story. Literally, I mean, look at that hole there. It's tiny but it goes right through the metal like… well like a bullet really. Are you sure Kathy didn't have a gun?"

"I told you she didn't. But, you know, maybe she did. You know, I was in the back and I could only here the argument. Heh."

"Seamus, what's wrong," Eames said as she neared his face. "You need to take your jacket off? You hot?"

"Naw, no, I'm fine."

"You know, maybe you need a break. You gotta use the bathroom?" Goren asked with a warm concerned lifted brow.

"No, I'm good."

"Okay, cause I know all about your little bladder thing. Every twenty minutes-"

"Hey, that's private information, Buddy!"

Goren held his hands in the air. "Whoa! Sorry, I'm just saying. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Nothing to be ashamed of. Actually, why don't you come take a look at something for me?"

Goren led the way to one of the stalls and pushed the door open. "Tell me what you see on that toilet seat?"

Seamus adjusted himself and poked his head in the doorway. "Somebody pissed on it."

"Yeah," Goren smiled. "There's a little dribble on the seat. Well, a lot of dribble actually. Would you say that's a lot?"

"I guess."

"A fair amount right?"

"Yeah, a fair amount."

With great thought, Goren lightly scratched his chin and starred at the dirty toilet seat. "See that bit of dribble reminded me of a poster my college roommate hung in our bathroom. I'm wondering if you've ever seen it. It was called 'The Shit List'. Do you know it?"

"Ah…Yeah…yeah, I think I seen it," Seamus nodded, obviously lying.

"Right. It was suppose to be humorous. It had all of the different types of pooh listed on it. You know, the clean shit, the wet shit, I think there was even one called the Richard Simmons shit…Ha, oh, that just brings me back. "

Eames looked at Goren with a questionable face. She was always surprised by his analogies. He smiled for her to go along with him.

"Well, anyway, my favorite one was called the Ghost shit. That's where you drop a large load into the toilet but when you look down to flush there's nothing there."

Seamus, who was already a pretty crass guy, was becoming more and more confused as Goren went along. He face crinkled and he nodded in an almost horrific stupor.

"So, here's my point, Seamus," Goren padded him on the back like he was his best buddy. "After CSU took a sample of the urine and tested it, I got a call this morning from my good buddy telling me that something wasn't right. So me and Eames, we came down here and took a little peak. When I looked in this stall I noticed that dribble, and I thought, now wait a second, how did that much dribble get on the seat? You would have to either be hanging over the bowl and missing the hole completely-"

"As most _women_, do in public restrooms," Eames added.

"Right but not men," Goren pointed, stopping her from the thought. "So, something would have had to have fallen in there. Something fairly large. Now, Seamus you didn't tell us that you took a pit stop before running through the crowd and making your final exit, but our tests say that you did."

"Well, yeah. I did. I didn't think that was necessary information."

Eames smiled and clicked her pen. "What else did you think was unnecessary information, Seamus?"

"N-nothing. I'm telling yous the truth."

Eames smiled and continued to write. "Yeah, I mean, I guess pee is a pee, but we found more than urine in this bowl."

"Seamus, what do you think could have fallen into your urine?"

"Ah… any number of things I assume."

"Mmmm," Goren nodded, letting the silence bring forth the confession. When Seamus just stood there uncomfortably swaying with his hands over his groin area, Goren continued. "So, just for shits and giggles, what could that have been? Just give me a guess."

Goren and Eames stood catatonic in front of Seamus, whose little wheels were turning at full speeds behind his beady little eyes.

Finally he turned away and cried-----

SCENE

"Order! Order in my court," Judge Donnelly yelled.

The whole court was in an uproar. Casey and Olivia stood on one side of the courtroom with their jaws hanging open as Trevor Langdon held up a list of receipts from their unit's "Kill Kathy" charade. On the list was Casey's personal ad receipt and a recording of her phone call to the stripper they hired to make Elliot jealous.

Judge Donnelly shook her head in disgust as Casey walked up to the pulpit and growled towards her in a low guilty tone. "Your honor, I'm going to have to excuse myself from this case."

"You're damn right you are," Judge Donnelly glared. "I cannot believe what I'm hearing. For a group of forty something officials, this is the most unprofessional piece of evidence I've ever seen. I've had high school perpetrators who've behaved in a more dignified manner."

"I know, you're honor, it…it was not meant to get this out of hand and I-"

"Shut up! I don't want a word from your mouth," Judge Donnelly snapped. "Get away from my stand."

Olivia heard the last bit and stood up to try and fix the situation. "Judge Donnelly, this is not Casey's fault."

"Really, well, you better hope it is, because right now, you're on trial for murder. I'm going to give you twenty four hours to find new representation."

"Your Honor, that's not necessary."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'd like to represent myself."

Casey whipped around and grabbed her arm. "Liv, no!"

"Casey, I can handle it."

"Liv, you know how badly that could end. The statistics are-"

"Ladies! This is not a recess. Casey, I want you out of here. Olivia, do you need the time or shall we proceed."

"I'd like to proceed, your honor."

Munch and Fin stood in the background trying to decide what they should do. They felt partially responsible and sitting there was a hopeless feeling.

The trial continued with Trevor's witnesses.

A large black man, who works in their building, took the stand and recanted the loud aggressive scene between Olivia, Munch, and Kathy in the lobby two weeks ago. Then, Langdon brought in Ronan Miles, the stripper.

"Ronan, why were you hired by John Munch and Casey Novak," Trevor asked.

Ronan's large muscular build barely fit in the small cube. He tapped the microphone and practically yelled into it. "To make Olivia's man jealous."

"And who is Olivia's man? Is he in this courtroom right now?"

"Ahhhhhhhh…….," Ronan looked around. Elliot, who was sitting in the back, slid down in his chair a bit and held his face to the ground. "There."

Fuck.

"That guy there," he droned.

"That's Elliot Stabler. That's the guy you were suppose to make jealous?"

"Yes."

Elliot looked up to see the whole courtroom looking at him. He sniffed and swallowed uncomfortably, and with great effort not to glance at Olivia then sat up and nodded.

My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name. He was avoiding me on purpose. I could tell. And he kept checking his watch like some kind of bomb was going to go off. Secretly I wished one would. Shit, but I better be careful what I wish for. Those kinds of wishes are what got me in this mess to begin with.

Finally, it was my turn. Unfortunately, my only witness wasn't here.

"Ms. Benson," Judge Donnelly summoned. "What are you waiting for?"

"Um…it appears as though my key witness is not here."

"Well, where is he?"

"Ah…I don't know."

"This isn't looking good for you, Olivia. I'm gonna give you a half an hour to find him and if he's not here by then you'll have to proceed without him."

I rushed towards Casey, Munch, and Fin, who were already dialing frantically from their cell phones. Elliot ignored me completely and walked out of the courtroom with his cell to his ear.

Casey shot my rejected gaze a tilted brow. "Liv, ignore it."

"He could at least attempt to help out. So much for trusting me."

"It'd only hurt you," Munch chimed in.

SCENE

Seamus let out a quivering squeal. "Okay, I took the gun and threw it in the John. Okay! You got me. The stupid broad had a gun! There, I said it, now can I get the hell out of here?"

"And how about Olivia's involvement? Did she really ask you to meet her in this locker room," Eames seethed with the pen held to his jugular.

"No. NO! I was sent to kill her by my boss. For lock'n him up. Then that screechy broad came in and messed up the whole operation. She was taking care of the job for me. Screaming about her feelings and waving that gun around like a bitch in heat, but then I realized that her aimwas about as good as my dogs. When the cops showed up I hid the gun and shot mine in the air as to scare Olivia. I thought if I could get her in trouble she could spend the rest of her life behind bars too. You guys been teling me to let the authorities take care of of my problems, so there I did. I mean, in my defense she elbowed me something terrible. I still have the bruise. Is that considered self-defense?"

"Aw," Eames sighed. "You poor thing, but NO! Planned assault isn't even close to self-defense."

"Can I …can I get the hell out of here now?"

"Sure, you can get the hell where ever you want, after you recant every detail of what happened between Olivia Benson and Kathy Stabler…in court," Eames said cuffing Seamus' arm.

SCENE

The thirty minutes flew like wild fire. Seamus was MIA. Even Cragen was part of the hunt. We had every cop on the east side looking for him.

The Judge pounded her gavel and the trial recommenced.

"Any luck, Detective?"

"No, your honor, he is not here."

Judge Donnelly looked at me with fearful eyes. I could see that she was trying to help me, but there was only so much that could be done.

"Without further witnesses then, Olivia Benson, please take the stand."

I took in a belabored breath of air and started for the right hand side of the courtroom.

"Wait," John Munch interrupted. "Your honor, I'd like to call myself to the stand."

"Ahhh…okay, Detective, you are aware that this could cost you your badge?"

"Yes, I am."

Fin then stood up next to him. "I'd like to also take the stand, your honor. I have evidence that Olivia Benson was not the guilty party in this."

I headed towards them and whispered ", what are you doing? Stay out of this. You had nothing to-"

"Olivia, my hand was inches from that trigger. If you're going down, I'm going down," Fin said.

After they stood up, then George Huang stood up. "Your honor, I too would like to take the stand on behalf of Detective Benson."

"Me too, your honor," Casey added.

"Count me in also," Cragen grumbled. I looked at him and held my hand to his arm.

"Don, you had nothing to do with this. What are you doing?"

"I kind of got Elliot drunk and allowed Kathy into the building the day he decided to call it quits. I had a hand in paper signing."

"You what…"

Don turned red and shrugged his shoulders "Come on now, I know a bad match when I see it. You think I was gonna let my favorite couple go down the crapper like the rest of this pathetic world. Let's face it, you two were meant for each other."

Then before I could grasp what was happened Maureen, who was sitting in the front row with her brother and sisters stood up. "Your honor, I too would like to make a statement on behalf of Olivia Benson."

What!? I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. All of the sudden I had a crew of witnesses. They each took their turns.

Fin: "I bumped Olivia's hand during the fight. If I hadn't done that, Kathy would still be alive."

Munch: "In the midst of the chaos I pulled on her left arm, causing the steadiness in her hand to falter. Have you ever had to control a gun while your steady hand was being shaken? It's almost impossible."

Casey: "Olivia never wanted to break up Elliot and Kathy. She refused to speak to me for a whole week when I attempted to lend a helping hand in the Stabler's divorce. If anyone is to be blamed for wanting Kathy dead, it would have to be me."

George: "I spoke with Olivia the day before the incident. She was upset that Kathy was lying to Elliot about the pregnancy. I should have seen her vulnerable state of mind and prescribed her an anti-depressant. If indeed she did kill Kathy Stabler, it was my fault for not seeing the signs and addressing them in a professional manner. Maybe it's possible, subconsciously, that I too wanted Kathy Stabler dead."

Don: "I broke the safety on Olivia's gun a few weeks ago. Not on purpose. We were working long hours on a high profile case and she took a few winks in the crib. I found her gun lying on her desk, so I went to lock it in her top drawer where she normally keeps it, and I dropped it. The safety button got jammed and when I pulled it apart to fix it, I broke the spring. I forgot to tell her about it. Had she known it was broken she would have fixed it, and Kathy would still be alive."

Maureen: "I over heard my mother talking to a friend the day before…all of this. She said that if my father didn't come home she was going to personally kill Olivia Benson for ruining her life. Then I saw her place her gun in her purse."

Trevor pursed his lips and paced the floor with annoyance. "I have no further questions, your honor."

"That being said, Olivia Benson, please take the stand."

I walked to the stand and sat down. My eyes immediately fell to Elliot's face. He was checking his watch and clicking away on his cell phone. What the hell was he doing?

Trevor smiled and made his way to the wooden railing.

"Olivia Benson, it was known that you and Kathy Stabler never got along."

"Objection, that's here say."

"Ask your question Mr. Langdon," Judge Donnelly enforced.

"How would you describe your relationship to Kathy Stabler? Did you get along?"

"Kathy and I were civil towards each other. I've never had a problem with her, but she made it very clear that she was unhappy with Elliot's work situation."

"Why is that?"

"Long hours. Stress. Her jealous assumptions."

"Jealous assumptions?"

"She thought that Elliot and I were having and affair."

"And were you?"

"No."

Trevor looked at me as though I were lying. Technically we never had an affair. His divorce papers were signed when I got my chance.

"What is your relationship to Elliot Stabler?"

"He's my partner."

"And that's all?"

"…No."

"No? What do you mean by that?"

"We were close. Friends. Almost family."

"How close, Ms. Benson?"

"When you work in an intense field like ours for so many years, you tend to develop a pattern very similar to a family. You bond. You support each other."

"You support each other by covering up their mistakes?"

"No."

"That's not what I found in my report. When Elliot was on trial for murder you stated that you would do anything to clear his name."

"Yes and…I don't see how that's covering up mistakes."

"Well, it would be if you had to lie."

"But I didn't. Your honor, what does this have to do with the case?"

"I agree, Langdon move on."

He nodded and paused, then slowly turned to me with an evil glint in his eye. "Have you ever had sexual relations with Elliot Stabler?"

"Relevance," I snapped.

"Your honor, the people need to know how extensive this relationship is, in order to understand the motives."

"Answer the question, Ms. Benson," lured the Judge.

I have never been so humiliated in all my life. Elliot's face looked up at mine for the first time. What the hell was I going to say? I looked away from him and sighed. "Yes." The whole room gasped.

"...-but that was not until after he signed the-"

"So your relationship was personal," Trevor jumped, cutting me off. "And Kathy Stabler had every right to assume there was an affair. Why did you lie about the affair?"

"I didn't lie about the affair. It's not considered an affair if the other person isn't-"

"Thank you," Trevor interrupted. "That's all I needed to know."

"He wasn't married at the time!"

"I'm finished." Trevor smiled.

"Closing statements, "Judge Donnelly continued.

I took my seat, while Trevor charmed the jury with a sweet picture of Kathy's lonely housewife, mother of four, situation and then tainted my reputation with an exaggerated version of my so-called devious plot that caused her sudden death.

When he was finished, I stood in front of the jury to make my final statement. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury..."

It was the moment of truth. I was always one to keep my personal life in the confines of my privacy, and here I stood, ready to shed to the world my honest side of the love triangle Elliot and I fought so hard to ignore and contain for so many years. I wasn't even sure if he was still on my side at this point. I hadn't talked to him in over a week. And although we left on good terms, he hadn't so mush as blinked in my direction. It was time to swallow my pride.

" I stand before you to plead that you see my heart as an open book. Yes, I love Elliot Stabler. I love him so much, that I spent eight years praying for his happiness, even if that meant that we would only ever be friends. I never once got in the way of his relationship with his wife. I never made one pass at him for fear I would lose his much needed support and his kind soul. Until two weeks ago, I wasn't even sure if he was interested in me romantically. I love Elliot Stabler so much that I was willing to live in the shadow of his wife for the rest of my life. I don't need a ring or a piece of paper to prove that we would always be together. I don't need him to tell me that he loves, because I already know through the many things that he does to support me in both my personal life and my professional life, that he does.

Kathy's low self-esteem issues were the the cause of their divorce and the culprit of this murder. There were plenty of times that I could have physically harmed her during the heat of the moment. It was typical for her to come into the precinct and start pointing a finger at the single woman in the room, but not once did I ever think about it. Yes, I was holding that gun, but it was only out of self-defense. Consider Kathy's mental state. This is a woman who walked around with a prostetic stomach in order to lure her husband from signing divorce papers. This is a woman who lied for twenty years about pregnancies and sicknesses to hold a man that didn't love her prisoner. She cheated on him. She caused him to leave his family by forcing a divorce. And then when she got her way, she manipulated him to come back home. I ask you to think about these things and to go over why she would have been in that locker room if only but to cause me harm? I did not and would never intentionally pull the trigger of a gun on an innocent victim. And I did not intentionally kill-"

BOOM

There was my bomb!

The doors to the courtroom swung open.

"What's this," Judge Donnelly stuttered. "What's going on?"

Detective Bobby Goren bowed to the judge and pushed Seamus towards the center of the room.

"You're honor, we've brought Seamus Albright to speak his end of the story and also, we've got the evidence that supports Olivia Bensons statements."

Alex Eames held up the gun in a plastic evidence bag and dropped it on the defense table.

The whole room gasped. "HUUUUAH!"

Trevor did his best to plead the evidence out, but it was too late. The jury had already seen it. Judge Donnelly ignored Langdon's attempts and after a delayed process of added information we all sat in the judges chambers waiting for the jury to make their decision.

The wait was killing me. I paced the room until finally Casey grabbed my arm.

"Olivia, you're making me sick. Sit down."

"Do you think that was enough to convince the jury?"

"Honey, I'd say it's in the bag. When Maureen stood up on your behalf I almost grabbed her little cheeks and took them home as a souvenir. I knew those family office parties would pay off one day. She knows a good soul when she sees it. She's a smart girl."

I smiled. "Yeah, she is."

There was a knock on the door and we both looked up. Munch stuck his head inside. "They're ready for you."

"Here we go."

As I walked down the hallway towards the courtroom I got hugs and good luck tears from all of my friends and colleagues. Well, everyone except Elliot, who unexpectedly grabbed me and pulled me behind a large marble pillar.

"I don't care if you don't need to hear it. I love you."

He kissed me and quickly pushed me towards the door. I was briefly stunned and the court officer turned to nudge me into the room.

The smile on my face was quickly washed away when the pounding of my heart entered the back of my throat.

"All rise."

My eyes grew blurry. The sounds of chairs screeching and feet shuffling were all I could concentrate on. The jury entered and the judge asked them for their verdict.

A petite woman stood up and nodded. "Your honor, the jury finds the defendant…"

**AN: DUN DUN DAHHHHHHHH!!!! Ok the pooh poster is a true story. My roommate really did put that vial thing in our bathroom...but it was funny fools! Sorry I had to end it here. It was getting way too long and there are still a few fun things I want to add to the end of the story, so you'll have to wait. Drop me some love. **


	12. Case Closed

**AN: Hey people, This took a lot longer to write then I'd expected. Sorry about the cliffhanger and then the delay, but what can I say -- I was ...distracted. That being said there may be a lot more sex in the this chapter then should be and I definitely went a little nuts with the music. Let's just say this story would have a killer soundtrack. Anyhoo, keep this chapter closer to the movie script in your brain. It's much easier to envision that way. As for new stories- I have no ideas at the moment. I think I'm gonna finish the two that I haven't finished and hopefully the new season will inspire something.**

**And P.S. this is chapter is for Ad Hom- because she always seems to guess my shit. I'd like to be upset by that, but it's actually quite nice to know somebody else gets my strange storylines.**

**  
**

**Case Closed**

"We find the defendant…..guilty-"

Wha...wait…what? All was still. You could hear a pin drop. The lights in my mind faded to a dim orange haze and a soft drifting sound of music faded into my ears.

**Fade in "Dead Already" from the sound track of "American Beauty," as we get a close up of Olivia's stunned face. She sits alone and the room grows unusually quiet.**

"Guilty on the charges of man slaughter in the first degree."

"What! That's wrong," Elliot yelled.

Bobby and Alex looked at each other puzzled. Bobby turned to Elliot and grabbed his arm. "Hey, you did all you could. We weren't fast enough."

"Didn't you hear her?!," he flailed. "You're wrong."

Judge Donnelly's face lit up like a monster from hell. "Detective, refrain your emotions!"

"I want a mistrial! She's not guilty!"

"Order!"

"She was defending herself!"

"ORDER IN MY COURTROOM ELLIOT STABLER!"

"She was fucking DEFENDING HERSELF!"

His protests were pulled into the hallway by Munch and Fin, who were using all of their strength to hold him back.

I looked down at my chipped finger nails. If anything could come from this lesson it was the power of expectations. Nobody thought something like this could happen to a person like myself. Even Paris Hilton wouldn't have expected my valiant character behind bars and she'd been there and done that…not so valiantly, but she'd hit the showers with Hollywood's finest inmates.

Nothing is more defeating then having your whole life taken away from you when you weren't ready for it. Yet, are you ever ready for something like this? I think that even the guiltiest criminal expects the best.

**Flash to Ted Bundy in court.**

"The Jury finds you…Guilty of all charges."

"Guilty of ALL charges! But that second girl _wanted _me to cut her arm off!"

**Flash to Olivia.**

After the reality sinks in, it's funny what goes through your mind. First, you think about how terrible you must really be. Then you immediately try to place the blame on something or someone else. And lastly, you just want to go back to the beginning. Back to a time you may have taken for granted.

**Flash back**

"Olivia."

"Yes, Mama."

_**We see Olivia as a teenager snuggled up against her mother on the couch watching their favorite sitcom "Moonlighting" **_

_**Serena runs her fingers through Olivia's long hair and smiles down at her daughter. **_

"How'd you get to be such a good kid, huh? "

_**Olivia places a piece of popcorn in her mouth and stares at the TV screen**_. "Dumb luck and moral Television. That and somebody's got to be ambitious around here, otherwise we'd never leave the couch."

_**Serena laughs. **_

"Someday you'll do your ol' drunk of a mother proud."

"Yeah, yeah, mum. I love you, too. Commercials are over, now shush."

**Flash End**

Not that my mother could have helped me out of jail. Not that she could have helped me with much of anything, but when all seems to be lost, there are few things that will always remain, memories and family. My family was like the cockroach of memories that could never die even after they'd stopped breathing. But in a city like New York, it couldn't have been more appropriate.

Maybe that's why it took a bullet and a masquerade ball (Literally, Kathy's stomach was as round as my 8 ½ inch dodge ball) for Elliot to finally let go of his ideal wife…wait, life?…no, wife.

Even after death, the memory of family would still continue. Just like my mother would always haunt me and Kathy would always haunt him.

Still, through all of the animosity, I wished she were here to hold my hand. I think she could have handled holding my hand.

Judge Donnelly pulled off her glasses and waited for the room to settle into silence.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and then looked over at me. She was leaden and almost remorseful as she spoke. "Olivia, I'm going to charge you with fifteen years… with a chance to redeem yourself in five. You are to hand over your badge and your firearms. Any and all information regarding the NYPD will be taken back into your units custody."

"Yes, Ma'm."

The on sight cops cuffed me and led me to my doom. I made it a point to go out like a Greek Goddess. With my chin held high and my spine as straight as Achilles arrow, I was taken through the mob of media and past the many familiar faces of families who'd I helped over the years. They were a crowd who'd gathered to see my fate. Whether they'd come to gawk, spite, or support me I didn't know and I didn't care. My eyes would not weep for them. I was strong and I was determined to go down on my own terms.

**Fade in Britney**

**Cameras are flashing while I'm caught in the action**

**They keep watchin' (Wait)**

** Keep watchin**

Elliot pushed through the crowd and followed me to the police car. I kept my eyes on him and for a second I felt like we were alone. My sweet Elliot, where will we go from here?

**Break'n it down like there's no one around**

**We'll keep on rockin' (We'll keep on rockin')**

** We'll keep on rockin' (Keep on rockin')**

**Gimme gimme more**

**Gimme more**

**Gimme gimme more**

**Gimme gimme more**

**Gimme (Uh)**

**Gimme gimme more**

**Gimme gimme more**

**Gimme more**

**Gimme gimme more**

**Gimme gimme more**

**Gimme (Uh)**

** Gimme gimme more**

My final moments as a heroic Detective came to an end as I ducked into the vehicle and road in my chariot of metal and sirens to the gloomy pits of the Riker's Island Women's facility. And that is where I've been for five years.

**Fade out and then in to Olivia in an orange jump suit on a prison bed. **

So you must be thinking to yourself, Olivia, I can't go on knowing that the jury took you to such a low unfair level. Tell me this is a bad dream and you and Elliot are happily married with ten beautiful babies on the west side of Queens. Convince me this is a sick joke. Some days I wish it were, my friends, but it's as real as Martha Stewart's macramé.

These walls have been quite humbling really. I mean, I'm not begging to stay, but I've made a few historical changes during my visit.

What? You didn't think that I was going to sit around wallowing in my own self-pity did you? That's not very heroic. I am the main character after all. Just because I jumped the gun doesn't mean I'd lost my fire. And I wasn't alone. I've had plenty of support during my days of imprisonment.

Elliot, of course, visits everyday. Sometimes he even brings his kids and we have our own little bizarre prison picnics.

**Flash to visiting hours at Riker's. **

"Olivia, can you pass the Peanut Butter crackers," Maureen smiled.

I reached and CLINCK.

"In theory I'd love to Maureen...but..." CLINCK CLINCK "I'm a little caught up," I frawned looking down at the metal attaching me to the table.

**Flash to Olivia.**

We were an interesting group to say the least.

And if you thought the sexual tension was bad when Kathy was alive, try imagining five years of bumping into the bars. I got really good at writing pornographic love letters and taking my urge out on the bed sheets. There were even a few times when we touched each other under the table in the visiting room.

That was tough, though, and usually more of a tease than a release. This is why you should never have sex with a man until you know you're in the clear. Knowing what I was missing was the worst part.

But other then the minor details, prison became an outlet for me. Everyday was a step to changing the system, a fight to give to the lost souls surrounding me. I recognized right away that many of these women had children or were abused in one way or another. Also, a lot of them were uneducated. A few of my inmates couldn't even read. They were expected to shape up and get wise through prayer and sitting in a cell. I connected with them instantly and saw the prison's remedies more as a distraction from life rather than a lesson for the better.

In the small amount of time I'd been here, I'd managed to gain the public's attention to the problems facing the common female prisoner. It took a lot of research and an abundance of letter writing to get my opinions heard, but I certainly had plenty of time for all of that.

It also, took some finesse. The biggest issue I saw were the people who weren't prisoners, being treated worse than the prisoners. How were the guards supposed to make themselves the good examples and mandate law enforcement under long stressful hours and bad pay?

I made it my duty to make the prison guards more than just a security guard with harmful gadgets. They were going to connect to these women.

You see, if it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a state to help the ones that slipped through the cracks. I don't think Hilary knew what hit her when she finally decided to take my advice, but I had something she'd never know. I had the experience from both ends now. I'd been the good cop and the bad one, and once my ideas struck a chord that old battleaxe was my new best friend.

Women in jail were now being taught how to find a job and take care of their families. Most importantly, they were finding themselves. They were getting therapy, taking classes, and making headway towards a new life.

It was also nice to have arts and crafts time. I could finally feel as though my tax dollars were being used wisely.

You think I jest, but you should see Ugly Betty's watercolor paintings. Yes, we call her Ugly Betty. My favorite one is called "Heartless Psycho Bitch."

**Ugly Betty turns and smiles at Olivia. She's a huge beastly woman with missing teeth and almost no hair. She is standing next to a painting of a blonde woman, who smiles contently, while barefoot and pregnant in a spotless kitchen.**

I'm not entirely sure why I like that one but…"Nice work Betty!"

"Thanks, Mamma B!"

For some reason they call me Mamma B. Hey, whatever keeps them from touching me in the shower, right?

By the time my five year hearing came up, I'd changed so many lives and crossed so many roads that all I had to do was show up. The judge gave me my freedom back immediately and I'd become so famous for my in devours that every news station and television show in America wanted an interview.

**Fade to Ann Currick on the Today Show. **

"We're at Riker's Island this morning where Olivia Benson, former Detective for the NYPD Special Victim's Unit, is about to be released. This popular ex-detective, who spent most of her life locking up bad guys, is about to go in the history books for changing the lives of criminals after she...became the bad guy! Tune in on Monday to find out how she was wrongly accused for murder and how prison has made her a better woman despite the fact. I'll get the whole scoop in her first exclusive interview. It's all right here on the Today Show."

**Fade back to Olivia in her cell.**

I took a look at the bed I'd slept on for five years, kissed my roommate goodbye, yhen I headed down the long corridor where Elliot stood with purple flowers and a twinkle in his eyes.

This is where the happy-tearful music fades in.

"**Time After Time" by Cindy Lauper.**

**Sometimes you picture me**

**I'm walking too far ahead**

**You're calling to me, I can't hear**

**What you've said**

Cindy Lauper's voice grew louder and louder as the officer in front of me opened the barred door. Elliot took an anxious step towards me then stopped as the guard turned to uncuff my ankles.

**Then you say go-slow**

**I fall behind**

**The second hand unwinds**

The chains fell from my legs and I reached for Elliot's arms. His hungry lips clung to mine and he pulled me into the tightest warmest desperately anticipated embrace.

**If you're lost you can look and you will find me**

**Time after time**

The prison guards whistled and cat called in the background as we heavily kissed. But I didn't care. Screw the PDA rule. I didn't need pride or oxygen even. I was content to remain like this for a long time.

**If you fall I will catch you **

**I'll be waiting**

**Time after time**

Elliot lifted me off of my feet; his lips were an endless seam of one passionate kiss after another. I'm not sure how we managed to pull away from each other, but the doors to the prison opened and when we stepped out into the daylight an enormous flow of people cheered and applauded my exit.

"Olivia, were you angry with the jury?"

"How do you feel about New York's Court system?"

"Are you and Elliot Stabler going to get married?"

I held Elliot's hand and smiled as we walked towards the limo he had waiting at the curbside prisoner pick-up. It was like a strange award show. The flourish of questions and cameras flashing, but it was all just noise to me. My life was tangible and all I needed was Elliot and possibly an outfit that wasn't orange or made from cotton.

Elliot squeezed my hand. I caught a hold of his gaze and we ran for the car laughing like we were in a deserted field of daisies.

Reaching the door first and lifted the handle and before I could disappear into the tinted windows I heard a familiar voice shout over the crowd. "Olivia!"

I turned to see Jackson Zane pushing his way to the front. "Olivia, when I was finally released the first thing I did was order a supreme pizza. Tell us…what's the first thing you're gong to do?"

I smiled, gave a yank to Elliot's shirt, and yelled ", Him!"

The crowd roared with applause and laughter. Then without hesitation I pulled him into my arms and we kissed for all the world to see. When I felt the world had had enough I pushed Elliot into the limo, smiled for the cameras, and slammed the door.

**Fade into the closing credits/behind the scenes footage.**

**It's Benson Bitch. (Laughter)**

_**We see Olivia kneeling in front of Elliot on the floor of the limo. She rips his white button down shirt off and then goes straight for his pants. Their hands and lips smacking and touching like it's the beginning and the end of everything that ever was.**_

"Mmmm I never thought I'd say this but you are even sexier now that I know what you look like behind bars," Elliot pants as he fumbles with Olivia's bra.

"Yeah and you're still the hottest alter boy I've ever fucked," She moans through the nibbles she makes on his neck. He…still fumbles anxiously with her bra.

"What is this made out of Titanium?!"

"Fuck it," she breathes, then pulls the satin over her head. Immediately she begins ripping at the button on her jeans.

Elliot is completely naked and pulling at Olivia's jeans as she falls back to do the old "Heave-Hoe" to the tight denim around her hips.

Once she's gotten her pants down she stands in a hunched position and bumps her head on the ceiling. "Ouch!"

"Oh," Elliot gasps and reaches for her only to make the matter worse by losing his balance and taking them both down.

They laugh hysterically at each other. Olivia hits Elliot on the chest. "You chump!"

"Hey, don't' judge me, it's been five years!"

She paused in his eyes thinking about how lucky she was to have a man that would take a vow of celibacy for five years to then wind up in a web of Brassiere trickery and sloppy limo sex with a convict.

It was even more wonderful that he knew exactly what she was thinking and grabbed her wildly into the quickest sexual position they could muster themselves into.

**Fade in Kayne**

**That that that that that don't kill me. **

**Can only make me Stronger. **

**I need you to hurry up now **

**cause I can't wait much longer.**

"Casey if you bring one more fucking balloon into this office I will invite Bozo the clown to your next birthday party," Munch snapped as he pushed a large cluster of helium filled latex out of his face.

"Okay, OKAY!!! Geez, I'm just trying to make it nice. They'll be here any minute."

"Oh, woman please," Fin sassed through the helium he just sucked in. "Five years without sex. I give them at least one more hour and that's still pushing it."

"And you," Casey whaled. "Stop eating my helium. You're the reason I keep making more balloons. That and your ghetto munchkin voice is freak'n me out. No pun intended, Munch."

**Fade in "Body Moving" by the Beasty Boys****  
**

**Let me get some action from the back sectio**

**We need body rocking not perfection**

**Let your back bone flip but don't slip a disc**

**Let your spine unwind just take a risk**

**I wanna do the freak until the break of dawn**

**Tell me party people is that so wrong**

**Body movin, body movin with the A-1 sound sound so soothing**

The traffic light turns red and Boris the limo driver stops his vehicle…

rock'n rock'n rock'n.

And Boris, the limo driver stops the vehicle………

Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak.

Stops the vehicle...

Ah, Ah, OOOOOOOHHHHHH ELLIOT!!!!!!

"The automobile should no longer be in transport," sounds the female computer voice that came with the limo.

"Faster!"

"FUCK YEAH!"

Ding. "Check Engine at the nearest gas center."

"You are unfucking real," Elliot groans.

"There's no unfucking in this car! AHooh! I'm gonna cum all over you," Olivia screams.

Ding. "Please check shock alignment at the nearest gas center."

Boris, the thin sixty-year-old limo driver bounced like an out of place rap star. His saggy face smiled as he tipped his hat like an British rapper towards the on lookers starring at him.

**Fade in Fat Joe**

**Now lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back**

**Do the Rock-away.**

"Damn it," Cragen shouted.

"What's up Cap, "Fin turned.

"This piece of crap needs to be replaced."

Cragen stood in the corner of the precinct batting balloons and yanking at a piece of material caught in the paper shredder.

"The damn thing hasn't worked in years. I thought one of you were suppose to order a new one?"

"Yeah, Lake was," Fin answered half paying attention to Cragen and half spitting paper wads at Dicky, who was ducking behind the video board.

Olivia's "welcome back to life celebration" was starting to fill up the office. People who were good friends with Olivia mingled and socialized as they waited for her grand appearance. Elliot's kids had been there since the early morning helping to decorate and as time went on things were starting to get a little silly.

Fin's spite wad missed Dickey by a few inches and its' wet salivated paper hit a picture on the screen.

_**Our focus follows the fast moving wad to a close up of Seamus, who'd just been convicted of raping small farm animals and a young girl that he stole from a Chinese family's basement.**_

**Fade in "Psycho Killer" by the Talking Heads**

**I can't sleep cause my bed's on fire **

**Don't touch me I'm a real live wire  **

**Psycho killer, qu'est que c'est **

**Far better **

**Run away**

"Boris, can you pull over at Bloomingdales, my man?''

Elliot was laid back in the black leather seats with Olivia's naked satisfied body nestled in his arms. They giggled when Boris' old cracking voice sounded on the intercom.

"As you wish, Master Elliot."

"Op-," Olivia chocked holding back the laughter.

"Thank you, Boris."

When she was sure that Boris could no longer hear them she laughed hysterically and did her own impersonation of him. "Master Elllllllliot, I will take you anywhere. Master Elliot, ET says phone home! Master Elliot, where the heck did you get me from, the bat cave!"

"Yeah, I've been working the streets in a uni-tard while you were gone. He picked me up one night and we've been partners ever since."

"You don't say."

The car stopped and they both quickly got dressed. Elliot stepped out of the car and took Olivia's hand. He was about to give her an out-of-prison- makeover at one of New York's finest Department stores.

**Fade in opening Techno music to "The Way I are" by Timberland.**

"Elliot Stabler, I hope you're not breaking your bank for me. This is too much," Olivia said from behind the dressing room door.

Elliot sat in the designated husband chair with his legs open and his shoulders slouched. His suit wrinkled nicely around his body and the top button of his shirt hung open. He could almost pull off the messy George Clooney look.

"Ms. Benson, don't you worry about my bank account."

Olivia opened the door. She was a vision. In an expensive layer of red Nicole Miller satin she flaunted her a new haircut, prison fit body, and glowing made up complexion in front of the many mirrors.

"Wow! That's it. You're buying that one," Elliot stuttered.

"Well, if you say so, but I'd hate for you to have to spend…" She looks down at the price tag. "Ow, $420 bucks just to rip it off."

Elliot stood up and placed his hand on her hip. His eyes followed the curves of her body under the rippled satin and then stopped at her sultry eyes. She couldn't resist his face when that bottom lip of his pouted with an innocent fascination. She touched his cheek to return his silent sentiments and he then nuzzled her hand so to kiss the tips of her finger. "You are amazing in or out of that dress. If you don't feel comfortable buying the dress, then don't, but if it makes you feel any better, Casey's paying for it, so stop worrying about money."

"Really, well in that case, I should go try on the $900 Carmen Marc."

He pulled her focus to his eyes. He had a hint of embarrassed shame on his face.

"You know I'd buy that dress for you if I could, right?"

"Oh my gosh, Elliot, I didn't mean to bring it up because you wouldn't. I just need you to know that it's superfluous to what I really want right now."

"Superfluous. And what is it that you do want," he asked as he traced the outside of her arm starting at her shoulder and making his way to her freshly manicured hand.

"This," she said taking his lips into her soft mouth.

"Only this," he pulled away.

"And this," she smiled grabbing his crotch.

He teased her by taking her hand man eating hand and lightly playing with the soft skin around her knuckles. "Yeah, but now that you're no longer stuck in my dreams I can't help but stand here in front of all of your beauty and ask myself ', why me?'"

"Why?" She smiled and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Lightly she ran her hand over his stomach. "Because a rock solid man like yourself needs a strong woman with killer instincts."

Elliot pulled his shirt off and undid his belt.

"But baby, **I ain't got no money**

**I ain't got no Red American Express**

**We can't go nowhere exotic**

**But together we be the perfect soul mates**

**Talk to me girl."**

Olivia turned her back on him and tauntingly unzipped the red dress. **"Oh, baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta flaunt for me**

**If we go and touch, you can still touch my love, it's free**

**We can work without the perks just you and me**

**Thug it out 'til we get it right. **

**Baby if you strip, you can get a tip**

**'Cause I like you just the way you are."**

Elliot slid his hand up her back and pulled her around to face him. **"I'm about to strip and I'm well equipted.  
**

**Can you handle me the way I are?"**

Olivia unzipped Elliot's pants and lifted her skirt as she wrapped her leg around his waste. **"I don't need the cheese or the car keys**

**Boy I like you just the way you are."**

Their hips moved together slowly as Elliot pushed himself inside of her. **"Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip cause I want you just the way you are."**

**Fade out and then in on Bobby Gorone and Alex Eames outside of the 16 precinct.**

"How many times do I gotta tell yeah, Bobby? You have to let the coffee cool before you down it like that," Alex scolded before grabbing the dripping Styrofoam cup from his hand and passing him a napkin.

Bobby coughed and held out his tongue as he spoke. "Ah'm sthorry, bud I needit a dink."

"You're a dink alright. Here sign the card," She said handing him a hallmark card and a pen.

"ohtay, bud gib me da coffee bat."

"What?"

"Da covvee. Just hand id do me. I gahnna due da tomtany."

Alex looked at him funny with the cup of steaming coffee held to her side. "I can't understand a damn word you're saying."

Just as she was ready to make fun of his ridiculous tongue burn and hand him the cup, a limo drove by and blasted the horn.

"Your tongue can not be that-"

BEEEEEEP

"Huah!," Alex jumped spilling the hot liquid all over the front of Bobby's shirt.

"AHHH!!! HMMMMmmm. Sth-it! Son ob a bish!"

Elliot and Olivia stuck their heads from the window. "Goren, you gotta little something on your shirt," Elliot mocked.

"Deah, danks asth hoe!"

**Fade in "Milkshake" by Kelsi**

**My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,**

**And they're like**

**It's better than yours,**

**Damn right it's better than yours,**

**I can teach you, **

**But I have to charge**

Munch danced next to Casey, red faced with alcohol and singing most of the words to Fin's IPod shuffle. "Damn right I'm better- up yours. Teach…you and I charge."

Kathleen slapped Maureen on the arm and laughed out loud. "Oh my god, look at Munch."

Elizabeth, who was in the middle of eating a handful of pretzels spit with uncontrollable laughter as she and her sisters witnessed Munch's white guy rapp'n episode.

"Ooo, look at Casey, she's dancing like a drunken Sascquatch," Maureen laughed.

"When I make it to congress, remind me to make a law that bands certain people from alcohol and top forty music," sighed Elizabeth.

"Hey now ladies, you'll be old soon enough. Let the geezers get their drink on," Fin smiled patting them on the back.

George walked over to their cluster of laughter with Melinda and looked at his watch. "This is one heck of a party, do you guys know when our girl isdue?"

"No idea," Fin answered. "They're making up for a lifetimes worth of sex so we could be here awhil-"

"Ah, AH," Kathleen twitched. "Mental images. That's my father you're talking about!"

"Newsflash, my friend. Your father….has sex," Melinda pointedly continued.

"With a hot convict! Holy shit," Fin jolted, before pushing them away and heading to the microphone he had set up next to his portable speakers. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Olivia Benson in the flesh!"

The party irrupted with cheers and whistles.

_**Olivia's smile brightened the whole room. Tears of happiness fell from her eyes and right then the lights flashed to a joyful happily ever after. She hugged each dear friend that stuck it out through the end, then turned to the side and winked as the camera pans away. The hole grows smaller and smaller until all we can see is the tiny hole from the barrel of a gun.**_

**_Their voices fading into nothingness_**.

Olivia "Wow, this is like a dream I once had. And you were there. And you were there. And YOU were there."

Casey "Okay, Dorothy we get it. Welcome back to civilization, you wayward child."

**Fade in "It ain't nothin' but a she thing" by Salt N' Pepa**

**It ain't a man's world (You go, girl!)**

**No more sugar and spice (And everything nice)**

**(repeat)**

**Excuse me, hold up...(Pep got the floor!)**

**I'm givin' props to the strong women layin' down the law**

**Taking control of the wrongs in their life (hey)**

**Standing up and turning all the wrongs to the right (ho)**

**You're a genuine feminine female thang**

**Can you hang? Ain't nothin' but a she thang**

**It ain't nothin' but a she thing (We are proud)**

**It ain't nothin' but a she thing (Say it loud)**

**It ain't nothin' but a she thing (On the rise)**

**It ain't nothin' but a she thing (You better recognize)**

** THE END**

**BANG**

**Olivia's voice: "False alarm people! I dropped the cookie tray. It's all good. Yeah...it's all good."**

**AN: I know, some of the songs were a little over rated and I'm so over Britney Spears, but I just couldn't help myself. That and it's a fun song to dance to when you're drunk. Too bad she's nuts and she shat it all up. Oh well, what's a girl to do? Anyway, drop me some lines. I'd love to know what you thought. I actually have a second ending that I may post later, but it's pretty sappy and predictable. If you think this wasn't satisfying I'll post it, but you have to convince me, because I really do like this crazy ending better. Peace Out, Shalom, Happy Ramadon, averdezan, po po sheeesho!!!  
**


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